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I m nitpicking met because the difference between how many women you met (in the course of college, probably thousands) and how many women you were close enough with talk to about this (I ll be generous and say less than a hundred) is pretty vast. If almost every one of thousands of women you encountered said they wouldn t sleep with virgins, that would be a pretty valid reason to think it s a dominant attitude. If you only talked to twenty women who felt that way, especially women mainly in the same friend group (friends tend to share similar attitudes), I don t think it s reasonable to draw conclusions about all womankind from that.
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And I m sorry you had such a strange experience in college, but realize it s not everyone s experience. I ve talked with a lot of women throughout my life, and I ve never heard a single one say she would never have sex with a virgin, at any age. I m sure the attitude exists, but I doubt it s common, let alone the norm. Most of the people I ve seen reinforcing the cultural narrative that men who aren t having sex are less are other men, making fun of each other.
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Men are under immense cultural pressure to lose their virginity as soon as possible because of how much sexual prowess is tied into masculine identity. The idea of losing one 8767 s virginity 6 as a rite of passage to adulthood is a deeply entrenched one thus, men carry around the idea that you are still just a boy until you 8767 ve managed to actually ejaculate into another person 8767 s vagina, no matter how old you may be physically.
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Calm down. I m not telling anyone what they can and can t do. I m calling them out on doing something inappropriate. You can call the shots all you like and that s your right, just like it s anyone s right to make any comment they want, but fact is that I made a much more elaborate comment on the subject elsewhere, and yet eselle78 for some reason decides to stick around here, ignore my arguments just so she can nitpick.
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The fear of reaching is incredibly pervasive in our culture, especially when we 8767 re bombarded with stories of how boys and girls are sexual at an increasingly age. Just about everyone who is a virgin past a certain point generally as soon as puberty hits, if we 8767 re honest about it is convinced that they 8767 re on the cusp of reaching some nebulous 8775 point of no return 8776 . That deadline the idea we have to lose our virginity by X date or remain forever unfuckable tends to vary we tend to put undue importance on arbitrary dates because they carry totemic significance for us. For some, it 8767 s a quest to lose our virginity the night of The Big School Event (Homecoming, Prom, Spring Formal, what-have-you) because it 8767 s part of the modern high-school mythology that we 8767 ve made up. For others it 8767 s trying to beat a particular date our 68th or 76st birthdays, high-school or college graduation, before summer 8767 s over, before getting married.
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There are so many good podcasts out there (including Lifehacker’s The Upgrade ), but there’s only so much time in a day. The Wall Street Journal reported on “podcasts nuts” who make time for podcasts by speeding them up with apps like Overcast. Like, up to 5x speed. Sure, that saves time, but it also probably spikes your blood pressure and makes listening to podcasts super stressful. So what’s the best speed to listen to podcasts in without sacrificing your health or ruining the podcast?
It also works to the woman s benefit, because if she sees the guy looking uncertain or concerned, it could be because he s just feeling awkward because it s an unfamiliar activity, but if she doesn t *know* it s an unfamiliar activity, she may assume he s not into it or not feeling attracted to her or all sorts of other much more worrying things that could put a damper on the experience. If she knows he s likely to be a little uncertain, she can be prepared for that and offer advice/reassurance/whatever rather than getting insecure herself.
Saying more women have concerns about sleeping with virgins than men do is very different from saying that almost all women have concerns. And when I referred to the values being held, I meant that a lot of men place value on how much sex other men are having. I hear guys giving each other a hard time over not being able to close the deal with a woman or needing to get some and so on all the time.
How isn t middle-aged virginity an embarrassment for in-celebs? It s proof that said people are social maladjusted as even highly-religious conservatives types get married and have children. And, yes, why would any want to help out such a person? The fact they re still a virgin means they ve been rejected by thousands of potential partners. Any in-celeb who makes it to the 85+ age know they re going to stay that way as their best years are behind them as well as their sexual contemporaries have also lost interest in sex for popularity s sake and are now more interested in making sure then teen children are going to turn out right as adults.
For a split-second, I did consider another possible plan: Come back at a later date for the mercyfuck. Maybe he just really wanted to get it over with, and I could be the somewhat-slutty (in the most positive way) lady who could come along and help him get over the hump of virginity. But almost immediately, I realized what a terrible idea that would be, because this did not seem like the kind of guy who could go from zero to 65 and suddenly start having casual sex.
Assman speculated that this guy can t get a date. I m providing additional possibilities, and I think the sheer number of them make it clear that I m not trying to pin any one on the person in question. They re just additional things that may be at play other than the already stated assumption that even attractive, social men have a great deal of difficulty finding anyone to date or marry. The fact that someone is desirable, 88, and single does not mean that dating is a field full of landmines.
On my 85th birthday, I resigned myself to the fact that I d be walking down the path of life alone. If I was wrong then, I m definitely not wrong now. I turned 95 a month ago and I have, without any doubt now, crossed that line. At least I don t have an STD or STI, kids I can t afford or have to go through a breakup or messy divorce. I can still do things I like and fill up my time with them. I just do them by myself.
On the non-disclosure about your virginity thing, I don t think there s a problem with not going out of your way to share it, but I do think there s a problem with out-and-out lying about it. It s honestly really skeevy to me. Perhaps some guys think of it as a way of saving face or avoiding women who d rather not have sex with virgins, but I can t imagine wanting to have sex so bad you feel like you have to lie about it and ignore your partner s personal preferences (no matter how silly or not silly they are.) In addition, it goes on the beg the question about what else you re lying about to get into someone s pants.
I appreciate your ideas and your willingness to stick your neck out for me. I would like to discuss how we could get to that point, but there is something I want to bring up. My terror is that I could find someone I fall in love with, be ideal for me in every way, but when we get to that moment, she will notice me being so awkward in bed that it will give away the fact I m a virgin and she will get rid of me because of bad sex. Not to mention the fact that I ve lost a minimum of 68 years of opportunities to get good at this.
I kind of suspect that this is an exaggeration, and it s more like the relatively small number of women with whom the topic happened to come up had that attitude, and he doesn t actually know how most other women he met felt about it. Especially if this was mainly him overhearing or being a part of conversations with his long-term girlfriend s friends it s not surprising she might have friends with similar attitudes to herself, or who might even have pretended to share her dislike for the sake of harmony but didn t really care that much, which makes them not a good measure by which to extrapolate the attitudes of women in general. Also, people are much more likely to complain about things they don t like than to talk about things they re okay with, so it s not like the women who don t care whether a guy s a virgin are generally using that as an interesting topic of conversation.
Okay the D isn t broken but I am really disappointed that I can t seem to get as aroused as I did 68-75, hence why I feel like I missed something. The intense morning woods are no more and overall horniness kinda sucks compared to 5 years ago.
And between 75-78 I got a little something something a few times by one friend about my age, but new years when I was 75 I was with a 66 year old (age of consent is 66 in my state) and I think she was more into it, and definitely went down on me better than the friend my age. What s going on here :/
I have no problem telling my potential future sex partner that I am virgin (when the appropriate time to tell about it finally arrives &ndash like after a steamy make out session that is leading to sex or maybe perhaps if the question somehow comes up earlier). Sure, I won t walk with a sign saying VIRGIN ALERT but on the other hand I am not ashamed of it in any way. If the girl has a problem with this to the point that she doesn t want to have sex with me (whether it is because bad previous experiences or simply because she is shallow and thinks that virgins are freaks ) then as far as I am concerned we are better off apart anyway.
I m not seeing how your advice was any less all he needs to do is X than kleenestar s was, and at least she didn t try to invalidate his feelings or insist what he s seen to be true for himself isn t. Between this and your criticisms of eselle in the other subthread, I think you really need to take a step back and ask yourself why you hold such different standards for yourself than you do for other people (particularly, it seems, women, given that you didn t jump on any of the men who entered the conversation, even when they said similar things to the women and it might be worth exploring why that is), and adjust your own behavior to make sure you re not doing the very things you re berating other people for.
That doesn t sound awesome, satisfying, or true. For starters, raw instinct and desire is rarely enough to give two different people orgasms on a regular basis, especially for the tenth time that day. Your friends who had this crazy sex in high school and college are men, right? I think you may want to consider the possibility that they re lying, either consciously to you or unconsciously to themselves.
Reading this article has made me feel so much better. I am a 77 year old female virgin. The emphasis society places on sex can really mess with your self-esteem. I have moments of truly feeling unworthy of feeling that I should have far more experience than I have. Yet, I ve come to realize that I caused a lot of my own predicament. I ve been asked out, hit on, and know that I am not unattractive. Yet, I suffer debilitating self-esteem issues that make it impossible for me to fathom letting anyone see or experience my body, despite sometimes being overwhelmed with sexual desire to do so. It infuriates me to be made to feel like a worthless child because of my lack of experience. Right now, I am at the point of not knowing whether dating or marriage or children will everbe in my future, and I am slowly coming to accept that it may never happen. It is just nice to know that I am not the only one with these issues because god knows society sometimes makes me feel that I am not quite humanMore images «Speed dating from 40 year old virgin»
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