Posted: 2017-12-07 04:57
Though it seems like a pretty common objection to sex workers is that the experience doesn t come with the validation of having someone be attracted to you but rather a simulation of the experience. I think that s a pretty valid objection from some people from folks who otherwise take the any warm hole will do and the even someone having sex with me out of pity or for some other reason stances, I find it puzzling.
I m on your side in this, I think. I don t necessarily fault DNL for posting the pic, particularly since he was pulling it directly from Alexander s post, but I think that the defense has that kind of edge we see from the GamerGate community. Just because you like a blog and I like Doctor NerdLove! doesn t mean it doesn t sometimes post problematic stuff. I don t think he s a bad guy for posting the pic, and I don t think he meant anything bad by it. But I do think it s part of a problematic trend, and if it had been done in a different direction (targeting, say, a female cosplayer and labeling her with a stereotype) it would read as wrong to a lot more people.
The thing is, the way evo-psych attraction is presented is usually there is one universal standard of beauty that is hard wired by biology and if you don t have it, you re Alone Forever. This leads to things like relatively normal guys blaming their lack of dating success on the ratio of their jaw width to chin width (true example) or guys insisting that all you need to score mad babes is to get jacked like Wolverine (also true example, both former commenters here) and act properly ALPHA. It reduces attraction and by extension all human interaction into a simple deterministic set of check boxes.
I know that being single is ALSO something that requires a lot of this work and the status quo isn t necessarily a neutral state, but between the two, I will take single every day of the week over the bog of misery that meh sinks into. And yes, I m in a similar boat with online dating etc where I can send loads of messages, follow the doc s advice, and not get any response (or a few but all negative) and it is AWFUL feeling like you are not likeable or desirable.
Age, height, and weight are relatively fixed quantitative measurements that are designed to reference a very specific material attribute. They do not represent complex, dynamic concepts that vary from person to person, time to time, and culture to culture. So the parallel is fairly flawed. But I 8767 ll humor it all the same, because there 8767 s another more critical error in your argument here. That clinical obesity is a medical problem does not prove that transracialism or transgenderism is a problem, and neither is medically pathologized (although transgenderism used to be until DSM-V). I 8767 m also not sympathetic to your suggestion that a moral society has to constrain the personal freedom of people to do what they want with their own bodies and lives, even if that means hurting themselves.
Speaking as a woman a huge amount of the pressure (both direct and indirect) about beauty ideals always ends up coming from other women and what we as women tell ourselves what men want. It s not that the male gaze isn t important but the immediacy of all of that pressure comes from women. Going to the issue of thigh gap (. being skinny/having a body build so that your thighs don t touch) I ve never met a man, even men who are into thinner women, care about that specifically. But this is now the thing amongst women in their quest for skinny.
I 8767 m completely sympathetic with the problem you describe in your essay, but I find myself nonplussed that you could write 6768 words describing the intellectual fascism of politically correct social justice warriors and then somehow blame this on Donald Trump. This 8775 outrage 8776 you describe was endemic among the 8775 enlightened 8776 on our college campuses since at least the 6995 8767 s.
While some Trump voters genuinely are overt fascists, most of them simply aren 8767 t and voted for reasons as equally complex as those who voted for other candidates. Among those reasons there is a concern with the rise of a very caustic, censuring, and sometimes outright violent extremist left. This has some basis in reality, but has also been exaggerated by media (and let 8767 s not pretend that conservatives are the only one susceptible to that). It 8767 s also important to recognize that much of his voting demographic are lower income and live in under-served rural areas. There are also substantive philosophical differences underpinning conservative and liberal politics that inform what concerns are prioritized, what solutions seem viable, and what lines cannot be crossed. Brushing all of this away with dismissive, easy generalizations is not only dehumanizing it 8767 s part of the problem.
In reality, people widely agree that a) there 8767 s somewhere we draw the line (ie. child pornography is not free speech, and in Britain we have hate speech related laws), the debate is about where to draw it b) that not all beliefs are actually worth engaging with in the first place. US far righters are not worth it. Neither are are daftie liberal feminists who can 8767 t even explain where babies come from without getting confused. In general, it is not worth engaging with irrational people whose beliefs are effectively just that, articles of faith.
Identity labels like 8775 black 8776 , 8775 white 8776 , 8775 woman 8776 , and 8775 man 8776 are used to reference material realities, but none of these labels are actually necessitated by that material reality. Trees are not trees because their properties necessarily make them trees, but because we see a set of properties that we have learned to attribute the concept of tree to. The same goes for race and gender. Notably, neither you nor
anyone else can prove their bundle is true because that truth is
subjective (. entirely reliant upon the perciever).
You learn to write fiction by first, duplicating what other people do (. trying to write the same scene you saw on TV or a comic or whatever, OR trying to write down something you saw people do in real life. For you, since you re not much into fiction, I would recommend you just try to write down a situation you saw in real life, then try to make up some possible motivations for what happened.) You let it sit and come back to it, or you take it to a writing group, who will tell you what parts of it feel strange or forced. You practice. Eventually your ear develops, and you can create situations and people as a mosaic of different things you ve observed.
And the doctor clearly doesn t know more than me about the origins, otherwise he would state so I d imagine.
Would it help if I listed all the memes where pictures where used without the owners permission (and where the owners confirmed it) and compare that list where pictures where used with the owners permission (and confirmed it)? I can already tell you I ll have to spend hours typing out the first one and only minutes for the second list.
Hey, man, the thread is getting a little thick so I kind of wanted to jump to the side here for a sec. This has turned into a pretty cool conversation. Usually the very mention of Evo-psych will turn a thread into a death spiral. Despite some fundamental disagreement on that front, though, I m really digging the philosophy of science discussion its spawned. You re clearly willing to put some actual thought into all of this instead of (or maybe in addition to) throwing links like they were handed down by God on stone tablets.
The caveat is that more than likely, the more pointed and / or difficult questions you ask, the more likely it is *you* will be frequently branded by less stand-up dooods, anyway as the difficult or too challenging one since the culture, even in the 76st century, persists in requiring women quite frequently to be the all-forgiving, all-allowing, all-permissive enablers of even some of the most egregious behavior or else be forever ID d as, oh horror, hard or suspicious.
This is a great article, and I admire your willingness to stick to your guns and fight for what you think is right in the face of significant backlash. I will follow your example and fight for what I think is right as well: The term 8775 hate speech 8776 is a rhetorical nuclear weapon that has undergone runaway proliferation. Everyone has their finger on the button, as it were, and everyone is pushing that button at the slightest provocation.
Gender as euphemism for sex
You acknowledge one case yourself where it is harmful to women to lie about sex. There are many others there are serious issues at stake here, such as the recording of the sex of perpetrators of crimes (at least one male rapists has been placed in a women 8767 s prison). There 8767 s the impact on women 8767 s and girl 8767 s sports. There 8767 s the impact on lesbian women who are subject to bullying for not being interested in dating males.
Oh I understand, I just don t agreed. So if somebody swims across the channel, your first words to him in Calais will be it s easy for you, you like swimming ? No, whatever or not one likes the activity, it doesn t make it objectively speaking any easier or harder. You, me, everybody who wants to build a fit body must follow a strict nutrition and workout plan, nobody gets cut any slack. Same if you want to make a lot of money. You must make quite a lot of sacrifices, Study, work long hours, your social life will suffer and there will be much less freetime for other activities. If you want to live more relaxed life, fine, but there is a trade off, mainly that you will be making much less money. Just because YOU don t want it enough or YOU lack the willpower required doesn t make it any easier for those who are both wiling and able. They had to give up the same things you would have to.
Except right out of the gate you are making an assumption about how people spend their time, what they eat and what they do based on nothing but their body. I don t have more than a single drink maybe twice a month, I barely eat any junk food, and I work out consistently, and yet I m overweight. And that s why the whole you re making a choice is disingenuous and unrealistic, because sometimes, there are more things required than just simplistic A, B and C to get that kind of physique.
I think it became such a completely different thing from the actual Hobbit that my brain is just seeing it as its own completely separate movie where some of the characters happen to have the same names. Like Flight of Dragons vs The Dragon and the George or something. And that part of my brain is just seeing this as a very long, very cheesy 6985 s fantasy movie that could ve used more editing and less Alfrid. (WHY DID WE SPEND SO MUCH TIME ON HIM? I M SORRY, HAD YOU NOT SET UP BOFUR TO BE FRIENDS WITH BILBO? WHY NOT TRY TO SHOW BILBO S INTERACTIONS WITH BOFUR AND THE OTHER NOT-THORIN DWARVES. OH WAIT, I M SORRY, I WAS THINKING THIS WAS BILBO S STORY, SILLY ME.)
In addition, the small romantic bits of me have been, well, beaten down to a pulp as unrealistic. The romantic part of me would want someone who saw me as the most beautiful woman in the world, who fell in love with me at first sight. I ve been told that s unrealistic and way too high of a standard. So, I ll lock away what little romantic love notions I have, and rejoice in my practical love measures instead.