Posted: 2017-11-14 20:34
Hi Eric! Your opinion here to Randy was spot on, as usual, and while I realize it may be easier to receive for some guys by using the phrase, 8775 my opinion 8776 , I would venture out to say that it should be unnecessary. Your opinion matters and has validity to Randy and all of us who read your articles and are furthermore subscribed. Please keep pouring it out of yourself to us, I mean just my opinion! 😉
Dear Eric you are confusing me. What do you mean by a woman keeping her market value? A lot of guys in society these days are losers either not working or are working and just carrying themselves all kinds of sloppy (not caring about their appearance, smoking, drinking etc). I 8767 m thinking about becoming a lesbian because most women out here are well kept and ready to treat someone kind and decent. Maybe you can write a book for men, so they can learn how to be a MAN. Help your brotherhood society because men are just pathetic these days.
Hi I met a guy online we exchanged number he started texting me every day since then,he invited me dinner,so first date we went dinner,second date dinner again and the third date I went to his house and I made an Argentinian dish for him(I m from Argentina)
He loved it we talked,danced,having wine everything was going perfect but he got mad at me because I called him pervert for something he said but I was just joking..ok so at the end of the night we had sex(worst sex ever by the way) but I still thought he was a sweet guy..next day I left in the morning he walked me to my car said he would keep in was about 8:85 am,sent me a text about 5:85 pm asking me how s your day? Wich it was weird because he was always sweet in his texts..I said I m ok
If I may chime in, I don 8767 t think it 8767 s the guy 8767 s 8775 fault 8776 if he never asks the woman a question. Nor is it a woman 8767 s 8775 fault 8776 that she went on the date with the guy. Only person who would be at fault is a woman who likes men who also ask questions , yet chooses to continuously goes on dates with the same guy who never asks her anything about herself. I would see a man like that as a red flag he 8767 s either too self centered or just seeking validation from me.
I wondered if you had any advice about finding balance between understanding men and walking away when interest levels decline and withdrawals increase. I 8767 ve read your book and I think I 8767 ve made some good choices by stepping back so far however, I still get confused about choosing what 8767 s best for me when it comes to decisions about when to let go. My own insecurities can cause me to obsess at times when I feel longing for more of the deep affection we have shared. I 8767 ve been afraid to express this at times, due to his seemingly obvious lack of interest. Then I find that when I do mentally decide to move on, he comes around or gives just enough for me to change my tune. I want to leave it all open but unfortunately, the sex added some confusion for me due to the closeness I feel after we have connected again. I won 8767 t get in to much else, but I wanted to know what your thoughts are, since neither my heart or gut are telling me anything right now. Thanks for your wonderful insights and perspectives that have helped me so much already in dealing with my own thoughts and emotions. : )
Have known this guy all my childhood yrs have liked him since my growing yrs too but we never spoke finally we lost contact n on my way to d bank we saw again n ecchanged contacts that day he called n we chatted n he told me he 8767 s alwys like me from bk years n date but he said he has a g/f and I like him too. D day I saw him at d bank after years was so happy. We have hooked up so many times now he doesn 8767 t chat me up like then n when I tend to complain he apologises. He said he feels smthg strong n loves me but he doesn 8767 t wanna get too involved cause of his g/f. and I know him, his family now am sad cause I really want him wht shld I do
It seems like a commonly-held myth that 8775 men love bitches 8776 (see: Sherry Argov). I don 8767 t think they actually love bitches. They love confidence and high-value women who have solid boundaries. Confidence and boundaries, however, should not entail actual bitchiness. Think about it: if you were a man, would you really want the mother of your children to be a bitch? Would you want her to be catty, spiteful, and constantly putting down others to make herself feel better? Probably not.
Dear Joyful, So the grass was greener on the other side of the fence and you were so available, and now that he has had a taste of someone beside the mrs. he will want to explore to see what else is out there and you will become the rebound. I have also been so good at this, experience here writing this letter to you. As these people here will tell you (and me) it 8767 s the chase he is after and he already caught you .(and me). Now I sit back and wait for them to make ALL the moves and keep bridging, dating other guys stay busy with your life and you will be more what he saw the first time he saw you. I think MR Right who I met over 6 months ago is finally realizing what he has found in me, but he finds me with plans already made for the weekend coming up Hang in, don 8767 t be cold, just be really busy with your girl friends and don 8767 t throw these other guys in his face.
At our focus group on online dating in Manhattan, Derek got on OkCupid and let us watch as he went through his options. These were women whom OkCupid had selected as potential matches for him based on his profile and the site’s algorithm. The first woman he clicked on was very beautiful, with a witty profile page, a good job and lots of shared interests, including a love of sports. After looking the page over for a minute or so, Derek said, “Well, she looks . I’m just gonna keep looking for a while.”
I love him because of his personality. We both have a sense of humour. We always make each other laugh. He carries himself in a respectful and responsible manner. He acts mature, but after all this I have gone through i am doubting if he is mature at all. When we were still dating he said even having a short conversation once a day is enough because I don 8767 t need reassurance if his cheating. At that time i did not think he was cheating and i did not want any reassurance all I wanted was for me to talk to him just for my entertainment.
Another area to drill into is his activity passions – whether it’s business, rock climbing, playing guitar, chess, or even video games you want to understand what drives him to love it. Men need to feel like they’re winning in the world. Whether it’s winning at business or even living the social life they want, they need to feel like they’re a “winner” in the areas of life that are important to them. Winning in the world essentially means that he 8767 s getting what he wants to get out of life in the way he wants to get it.
From my score it said he 8767 s very interested in me but in a conversation I had with him long story short, he said he was going to the market to buy somethings what do I want, I said grits, bacon, pork chops, , he said a man has to take care of his house that he 8767 s not going to spoil me, I sad what does that mean you ask me what I want from the store I said do you still want to date or do you want a casual thing or is this going anywhere i said if its casual i cant continual this he said he want a lot of things I sad that 8767 s not telling what I ask you so I hung up and text him i said we 8767 er cool good by , he text back what that suppose to mean, he called back i did not answer. but yet he said in my ear one night that he wanted me to move in with him. I can 8767 t move in it 8767 s only been 8 months, anyways this happened yesterday around 8:55 in the even,I haven 8767 t called him and he haven 8767 t called me, I care about him a lot but don 8767 t know if he want what I want ,to move things forward, should I just move on or just wait to hear from him. PS. Give me a reply. Thanks.
Wow that sounds very much like the man I've been talking met him on
He also asked me for an ITunes card, then last night he asked me for money because he's out at sea working on oil spillages and his contract is at risk because he miscalculated and now they have run out of chemicals. If he doesn't get the money he will lose the contract and not get paid for all his time, efforts and hard work (and will not get paid) as they will reassign the contract elsewhere. I could go on but it sounds like we're taking to the same man..or men who have been trained the same way.
You can trust the out-of-mainstream men 8767 s internet, though, because they don 8767 t have a reason to lie to you. They 8767 re not a media outfit trying to push product to you as a woman. They have no political agenda they want to indoctrinate you with. They 8767 re just men expressing what they 8767 re attracted to in all honesty, I think that women will find it to be a tremendous breath of fresh air when they witness what men are actually like.
This kind of rigor goes into a lot of my decisionmaking. Whether it’s where I’m eating, where I’m traveling or, God forbid, something I’m buying, like a lot of people in my generation—those in their 75s and 85s—I feel compelled to do a ton of research to make sure I’m getting every option and then making the best choice. If this mentality pervades our decisionmaking in so many realms, is it also affecting how we choose a romantic partner?
Thanks to smartphones and the Internet, our options are unlimited, whether it’s a retail item or a romantic possibility. We have all become maximizers. When I think back to that sad peanut-butter-and-banana sandwich I had in Seattle, this idea resonates with me. Besides gasoline, it’s nearly impossible for me to think of anything I won’t put in time for to find the best. I’m a maximizer for just about everything. Tacos? You better believe. Candles? If you only knew how good the candles in my house smell.
I liked your article a lot. Its nice to hear it straight. Unfortunately before i read this ive experienced the opposite to the earning point you made. Im 77, thin and somehow chased relentlesslessly by men. Ive had it rough and i hated when something woukd fqll apartvor break i always had to call men for hrlp. So the past 7 years ive collectively added every skill i would need except weldingvand electrical. My knowledge is vast and so is my experience along with my sexuality.
Hi Mirror, good it gave some food for thought-as well as helping me join a few more dots. In hindsight I think it must have been drugs as that could explain a pie-eye and the odd habit of muttering to himself (repeating a sentence he had just spoken in a normal-louder voice) elusive behaviour and difficulty to get it up in the morning (which from what a doctor friend of mine tells me is a poor health indicator for men). What a shame, he could be an absolutely stunning man!
Overall this experience strengthens my resolve to take things slowly (more so with online dating) and really gather as much info as I can before having sex with a man! I m so glad I never pursued him when he if I was dying to see him.
THANK YOU for saying this this really clarified what I was particularly confused about. I couldn 8767 t imagine that men want to live in fear of losing their woman all the time. To me that 8767 s a miserable existence, whether or not it gives the man an opportunity to 8775 win 8776 or not. I guess in a way that doesn 8767 t work either because it 8767 s like he 8767 s fighting a losing battle, if he 8767 s constantly in fear of losing you because you deliberately make it as if you would leave at any time. This really straightened me out the mindset that you 8767 re not going to settle for any man who is putting in minimal effort, and an increased sense of your own self which I 8767 ve always strived for and admired in other people (my own mom is like this and is married 78 years with my dad). The idea of not needing but wanting to be with the man is the key there I 8767 m sure. Thanks again for putting it in these words.
I 8767 m not trying to nit-pick here chances are, what you 8767 re talking being at risk is something that 8767 s different than what I recommend and I want to make that distinction clearly for the readers who follow the comment thread. If we talk about 8775 princess syndrome 8776 , then we 8767 re talking about a closed and undefined concept if we 8767 re specific about the exact situations, behaviors, etc., then everyone will benefit.