Posted: 2017-11-18 07:44
It 8767 s simple. There are two kinds of men, nice and aggressive. The few that are aggressive don 8767 t respect boundaries and so approach anytime. The greater majority of nice men, do respect boundries and therefore look for some form of invitation, a simple lingering smile, a second look, whatever. You see, while we have always thought that men make the first move, this is inaccurate, women do. In most all sexual species, the man stands at a distance, sometimes putting on a display, but always waiting for an invitation to approach. Women have become so trained to 8775 play it cool 8776 that they all seem caught up in their own lives and uninterested in finding a partner. The reason we don 8767 t look closer, because we are still looking, is because no woman LOOKS AVAILABLE. Don 8767 t believe me, try it. Try smiling at strangers and see the impact. I gave this advise to a woman I know and she caught herself a husband and thanked me for my good advise afterwards.
I think the first reason, fear of seeming predatory/creepy, is the strongest factor. But it goes further than that. Among many of my acquaintances, it seems like it’s just “not cool” to do that (which I think is kind of sad.) So there is a type of unspoken peer pressure going on as well. Not only are guys afraid of being seen as predatory by the woman, they are also afraid of being perceived as being uncool and uncouth by the woman and by their peers too. Fear and social conditioning. They don’t think it’s “ok.”
Well, time to add another 7 cents worth I guess. The dating world for men seems to get worse as you get older. Your choices are often limited to women who are single mothers, many with plenty of baggage that goes along as well. I am bemused when women say that they are 8775 talking with this guy, 8776 even if they are as far along as having sex together. This is the new phrase for dating in the digital world.
A while back I was chatting with another guy and a mutual female friend. she was texting away, and the other guy commented about the girl, 8775 She has the attention span of a squirrel. 8776 After about another 65 seconds of texting away, She looked up at us and remarked, 8775 what happened to a squirrel? 8776 The other guy replied, 8775 never mind, 8776 and she went back to texting, unabated. I 8767 d say there 8767 s definitely a 8775 failure to communicate 8776 going on here.
I live in the Trinidad and Tobago (ie in the Caribbean). I don 8767 t see the looking problem in my country. We men look and comment. We comment amongst ourselves and to the women. Most comments are along the construction worker example Scott mentioned. The bad precepts of sexual harassment has not hit here yet. Though we as a society have our differences, we touch more than other societies, we are one of the major homes of Carnival ( 8766 sexual 8767 dancing (wining) in the streets, soca music, scantily clad women, the greatest party on Earth). At Carnival time, some men feel it is easier to approach women to dance (wine as we call it). Carnival is a time to release your inhibitions. This does not mean that all approaches are successful. Outside of Carnival, I see the technology really creating a problem, especially with one on one, face to face social interactions. Social media technology is really killing the skill of face to face social interaction. So we have a problem here as well I think it is the technology.
I used to never give compliments or acknowledge women in public until this thing happened. I was in line to the toilet when out of the ladies room stepped a bridesmaid (wedding happening nearby), and I realised my default of disregarding women was actually not neutral but ill-mannered.
So I said it: 8775 You look absolutely stunning! 8776 and she practically melted. From her reaction it was obvious to me that this is not something people do much today.
Also, the wording isn 8767 t specifically gender-specific. I 8767 d bet money that if a man (gay or straight) were to order the 8775 Angel Shot 8776 , they 8767 d deliver it. But ultimately, I think you can ask mgmt. at most any decent establishment to help you in such a situation and they would. Hell, I myself have been asked by women to help them deal with bad-guy situations before and I did.
There 8767 s a lot of information on the web about the best Christian dating sites , but as Christian singles ourselves, we haven 8767 t found much of it to be truly helpful in our decision-making process. We wanted to hear from other Christian singles about what was working for them, so we figured instead of complaining about it, we 8767 d try to help solve that problem. We 8767 re givers like that.
Sadly, what has been brought up here seems true and I think a lot of great points have been made. On the other hand, I am so happy its not just me thinking about this terrible wedge growing between the sexes. Femenism has for sure changed how men behave, in some ways its good but in others not so much and some behaviors are missed by the very women supporting 8775 man hating 8776 reteric. Like others here I have trained myself to go way out of my way to not offend women by getting caught looking, leading them to think I am interested with body language, a smile or giving them a longer gaze. I feel as though to not be considered a creep you must treat women as if they were nothing to you. And, you must act as if they have no female meaning or 8775 beyong aquaintance 8776 feelings to win over. You have to ignore the fact that they are women and pretend that the hottie you see or are speaking to at the grocery store is basically a non sexual anything. Just an object really, not a beautiful women. Hmmmmmm?
For the next few months i changed big time. Then i made a choice i won 8767 t type. After this choice girls naturally gravitated towards me. Cause i stopped caring. I was solely friendly. It was funny. Hilarious. I even started hearing rumors of girls always talking about me. When i denied that could be true they said i seemed to never focus on girls so i wouldn 8767 t know. Funny stuff. I faked happiness all the time and they kept coming. I guess its cause i acted positive, placed no demands on them, and never made the conversation about me.
8776 …everyone who means well loses !! 8776 Precisely , Scot !! This is NO accident either , a messed up , hateful , downtrodden 8776 society 8776 is what the malignant 8776 Powers That Be 8776 are deliberately trying to engineer !! ( to control the populace ) People need to disconnect from the lamestream 8776 media 8776 & think for themselves. Women are primary targets for negative propaganda ( anti male for example ) as they are more emotional thinkers. Think about it unhappy , hateful women = men going the same way !!
Malcolm Gladwell did a great job with this in 8766 Blink 8767 . Included some data from speed dating which among other things challenges the premise that it 8767 s gender specific dating behavior. Jonathan Haidt does some intriguing work with the whole reason vs emotion thing in 8766 The Happiness Hypothesis 8767 . Uses an analogy of trying to ride an elephant when it comes to our attempts to master behavior.
I see a lot of men who are confused, frustrated and think that it 8767 s their fault that they cant find jobs (let alone women) and they keep getting told 8775 you just gotta work harder 8776 . These men, a lot of them children of single mothers, are either killing themselves or dropping out of society altogether. It is for these men that I will continue to spread the truth so they know they are not alone and to focus their energies on improving themselves instead of women and a society that has turned their back on them and their needs but still DEMANDS everything from them.
Delagray, i wouldv had the perfect comeback for her. thats when i wouldv looked her right in the eyes and said, i know, but i wasnt looking at your eyes. i opened a door one time for a woman, someone peed in her corn flakes before she got to me. she said defiantly, you dont have to get the door for me because im a lady, and i said i didnt. i got the door because im a gentleman, and i kept walking. most women that dont appreciate a sincere compliment grew up in a household of men haters, or they have friends that are, or they just lack self esteem.
I am currently in a battle of regaining a grasp on my social life that was gradually eroded away.
When I got on social media back in 55 8797 people were truly using things like Facebook to promote parties and events and PEOPLE went to them! But over the course of time I have noticed that my social and dating life have suffered immensely because now the chicks that I want to date, don 8767 t wanna date but THEY SURE do wanna stay friends on all the social media platforms to stalk on me and make sure theyre in the know of my whereabouts yet when I message them, there is no reply. WHY WHY WHY? Why friend me on some stupid social media site like Facebook, twitter etc when you don 8767 t wanna talk?
Was there an insult in giving you that choice? Was there an insult in his knowing that he didn 8767 t want to roll the dice on getting emotionally involved with a woman at this point in his life and communicated that up front. Even if you want to get on the questionable ground of believing he was wrong in not being open to all the possibilities, where was the insult to you? I think this is something men and women both do. We get in this trap of thinking of invitations as mandates. I personally agree with you. I would never agree to a ceiling of what I could come to feel for a woman as a condition of a first meaningful involvement with her. But is it productive to feel hurt and insult at being asked if I would? If I was single I 8767 d much rather a woman make that requirement of hers clear up front than find out a couple days later in an 8766 about the other night 8767 convo.
They are all pretty self explanatory but I think subjective laws is probably the biggest of them all. It is not that men do not notice women but men ignore and force themselves to control their impulses because wrong moves could have very serious consequences and the subjective and unpredictable nature of these laws make it too toxic and hostile environment for social, not alone intimate interaction.
I 8767 m about 75 years than you but have the same feelings.. You 8767 re a MGTOW and don 8767 t even realize it:) it 8767 s not a bad thing.. And you can definitely still find what you 8767 re looking for, although I also see the pool of classically ideal, traditional women shrinking.. Just know that as a man, you are literally the most impressive animal on earth focus on your goals and dream big.. Maybe you find a woman, maybe you don 8767 t.. But either way, be amazing. Good luck brother.
Your first option for safety on any site is to not use your photo. Girls like to say that only the guys care about looks, but that’s not true. Even the holiest of girls wants to see if his eyes look honest and kind (or if his hairline is receding or if his belly shows too much beer consumption) before she meets him for coffee. So not using a photo isn’t really going to reap a bumper crop of hot dates for most people.
While I needed to witness it myself I had heard all the exact same concerns from friends who had tried these sites and also from the people I have talked to and met on the site. One who is absolutely gorgeous and who said she liked everything about me and had a wonderful date, but who was very much not a Christain till recently, doesn 8767 t want a second date because she wants to go in a diffferent direction in her life to what she has been going before and wants all the qualities I have but someone who preferably attends the same church and also who has never sinned in their life, unlike she has. She has been on the site for over a year and has had several dates with people before but never a second. Other people I have chatted to on the site they too have been on the site over a year in some cases and have had a handful of dates but never more than one.
A few of these guys have girlfriends but most don 8767 t. I am not an attractive man and yet I am looked at by several attractive women several times a day. They stare, they smile at me for no reason when entering the subway, if I look at women in college they stare back, even more intensively than I 8767 ve ever seen teenager boys stare at teenager girls, I 8767 ve even seen attractive women do a little victory dance for having a guy(that guy would be me) look at them.