Posted: 2017-09-28 07:16
Although in all dating sites there will always be sharks.. I believe I will just be cautious and avoid them. I have been in different dating site and I would not last a month. It''s just sometimes I don''t know what to say to make them stay or make them reply to my message. I just recently deleted my account again to the point that sometimes its making me lost the confidence I have in me.
So in the meantime.. I''m wrapping myself up with positivity.. that somehow I am going
meet the one.. I know it would take some patience, effort and time.
What about the rampant lying about age, income, height and other things simply get into more peoples searches or attract more responses because people are shallow. I''ve read that some women won''t even bother with a man whose income is not high enough. LOL! So men lie about it try and get a shot and then it of course tanks. Or women lie about their age because they "feel and want to fall into a wider search. And then the man finds out.
I know guys who constantly say, "Why won''t she respond -- I don''t get it?" I don''t think many of these guys have the kind of creepy-profile pics you describe at all. They''re mostly pics of them playing sports, running, spending time in nature, etc. At the same time, most of the women who do actually reach out to these guys are just like you describe -- they come across as desperate. I think that''s the most revealing statement of all.
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You know why men on dating sites are like that? Because after weeks or months of sending deeply thought out, interesting messages to women with shared interests and trying to talk about those interests, only to get completely ignored or get a one line reply and then nothing, most of us realized there''s just no point in wasting time. In fact, I found this article by googling "why do women never want to talk about common interests on dating sites", trying to figure out why this is the case. From all my experience it seems clear to me that all women want are cheap thrills from a hot "bad guy" - nice, interesting guys with common interests don''t tickle their libido so we get ignored.
There''s another guy on here who''s bragging about getting laid by women he barely knows. It''s following a shallow lifestyle to be after people "who attract you". There are more important things in life than the outward appearance. A person''s character traits are important. Honesty, respect, love, loyalty, dependable, reliable are all decent traits to have. Being with a woman for a long time says that you have been dependable and loyal. I''m sorry that happened to you.
As a guy who''s more successful in online dating than most men I just wanted to share my experience. I know, I''m technically adding to the very problem I''m complaining about by dating and sleeping with women I''m not attracted to. But, can you blame me if that''s usually all I can get online? Meet us halfway, you might find a guy who is amazing and will treat you with love and respect. There is a clear divide in what men and women can attain in terms of physical attractiveness online.
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I know women must have to wade through a lot of crap but the positive messages they get too are still so much more than most guys get. Even if half are from creeps, every message is from someone who finds you attractive and girls get a steady stream of admiration with literally no more required work than a picture. I would love to have people messaging me telling me that I''m attractive, that would be a great feeling and I''d be willing to ignore some nasty messages to get to receive complimentary messages too. Instead I have to work really hard on my profile and my messages to get a single response and I envy the steady compliments and reassurances of attractiveness that women get on online dating.
I get turned off by guys base jumping, skiing in the Swiss Alps and all that jazz, even running, because that''s just not me. None of that stuff would interest me. If you play a sport like soccer, baseball, then perhaps. I am sure though there a lot of women into that sort of stuff. It''s just about odds really. I guess a lot of women just don''t care that men run around the block and jump out planes! But then again I''m sure there would be many women into that.
I am WAY older than that, but, of course, I remember all those feelings back when there were only main frame computers and landlines. Back when women''s lib was just getting going in the 75''s. It struck me as odd that women were looking for equality, and, yeah, I can understand, yet I would see time after time that they would fawn over men that did not treat women equally whatsoever... the same women going for the "bad boys" ... hasn''t changed.
We could term this "hypergamy" as some commentators do.. which makes the females sound quite like lab rats and gives the (male) commentator a horrendous, vile, disembodied ocularity, but that''s not my deal at all. I know that females are smart, informed, and selective, and have strong capacity - in most places, thankfully - to exercise choice about mating habits. Females also possess very strong sex drives and know how to get what they need and want, whether it coincides with the NiceGuy/bf/hubby or - often - not.
Interesting read. I was debating putting up a profile or perhaps going to a club with some live entertainment. I am going to bed instead lol. It is very true that 65 to 65 years ago online dating worked well. I am an average looking guy but intelligent and funny and I was floored how many interesting, and yes pretty ok I would like someone that I consider to be pretty, not necessarily the text book version either. Anyway, teachers, lawyers, security guards, nurses, there I was dating, where previously I would stand in a bar and not say anything because my voice is very low and you couldn''t hear me over the music anyway.
Yes I am older now and I have my daughter half time, but I am still an average looking very intelligent and funny man. I am not bitter, disappointed maybe. I am affected by the lack of responses though, not like jump off a bridge affected, but it does drop you down a notch psychologically. I am glad I read these posts. It sounds like many of us are in the same boat. God bless all of you even the bitter ones we all know that hurt people want to hurt other people.
This article is infuriating because it is dumb, based on no factual evidence and sexist. how can you write up on your findings of what women and men in general experience when you have interviewed only two people- people''s differing experiences are nothing to do with whether you are a man or a women.. My advice to anyone who has ventured into the world of online dating DON''T BOTHER - it''s cold, calculating and not natural!! You are better than that :)
But the reason women always slept around is they''re wired that way. As well as the evidence accumulated by Bergner you can look at "sperm wars" and paternity testing for proof. Why do sperm fight and kill one another? They have to if they want a chance at a fertilising an egg, because women have always slept around. And there were a lot of surprised people around when DNA testing of children first became possible.
The point is this - they don''t have to WORK to get attention. Attention comes to them, both good and bad. If they post a picture with them in a swimsuit, they are going to get some pretty bad attention. If they instead post of picture of them praying in a church, they are likely to get a different kind of attention. They do have some control, and some means of filtering and directing what attention they want, at least to some degree. Nice guys don''t have that option. We have to put our best pictures out there. The most attractive. The most interesting. Our profiles must be perfect. Our messages must be interesting, eye catching. It''s pretty unfair when you really think about it.
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Eric: I don&rsquo t know. Maybe they don&rsquo t like my pictures, or maybe I&rsquo m not being as nice as I feel I am in my messages. Part of me thinks that they&rsquo re just so overwhelmed with messages from so many guys that they just pick the few that strike them as the &ldquo best&rdquo and just ignore the rest. Women&rsquo s choice is what it&rsquo s all about I guess.
I am reading this guy Eric''s situation and it is EXACTLY the same as mine and from what I can gather, thousands upon thousands of guys out there.
For sure a lot of the girls are "saying" they want the nice guy but end up looking for the guy they have spent an entire paragraph saying they do NOT want. Not all girls are this way though.
I truly believe that a MASSIVE amount of the blame can go to the guys who act like asses and the girls who let them get away with it. Clearly it works on some girls so these jerks continue to try until they find that girl.
Also a lot of girls need to lose the attitude, I mean seriously no matter how good looking you "think" you are, if your head is up your butt you are going to come out looking like poop.
It is sad because I myself am an average/decent looking guy, look far than my age of 89 and am as nice as can be. Yet I will get not one single response out of 85 messages.