Posted: 2017-11-14 17:31
I m not saying you need to give up any of these standards or that they re not things a rational person would care about. But I think you should at least acknowledge that you have them, and that there are some women out there who are resentful that men like you aren t interested in them. You re not the only reasonable person in a world full of picky, unrealistic women. You re also not unusually cursed by the fact that you re short and hairy. There are certainly women who care about those things, but all it takes is a glance at the rest of the site to see that there are guys who are tall and hairless who are still struggling to meet women.
Anyway, you say dating is impossible and you are going to die forever alone. You ve said these things a lot. So if you really believe that, why are you still complaining? Accept it and move on to build the best life you can while being the confirmed bachelor you will be because no woman in the history of time will ever love a man under 5 7 even though that is demonstrably untrue but you aren t interested in true things, you are interested only in self pity and constructing a scenario where nothing that happens to you is your responsibility, but the fault of shallow women. So just embrace it, accept it, and move on which means stopping complaining about it, also unattractive. I have things I could complain about, but I don t do it every post because it is pointless, self-indulgent, egotistical, and supremely unattractive.
WHY do I always read these things AFTER I decide to go ahead and try the thing I 8767 ve avoided like the plague?? I guess I can hold out hope that I 8767 m the lucky one who actually scores a decent date out of this within a reasonable amount of time. (Stop laughing.) Like most of you, I 8767 d sworn off of online dating and then when three good friends couldn 8767 t come up with a blind date for me, I thought, well why the hell not? THIS is why not. Sigh. I don 8767 t know where to turn now, since I don 8767 t do speed dating or bars. Maybe if I bribe my friends to come up with dates?? It would be money better spent than on 67 months of eHarmony by Steve 8767 s reckoning!
Secondly, you are concerned that physically unattractive women cant do anything to improve their dating/sexual prospects. There is truth in it. But you don t realize that there the proportion of physically unappealing / ugly women is much lesser than that of men. There are much fewer women who are considered physically unattractive. If 65-75% of women are unappealing/ugly, then 55-65%% of men are considered physically unappealing or ugly.
I wonder if perhaps you are conflating I don t find this person attractive enough to want to go out with him based on looks alone&rdquo with I find this person outright unattractive. Just because I wouldn t call someone good looking doesn t mean I think they re bad looking, just all right. And considering women seem to value personality traits over a particular standard of physical attractiveness most of the time, it makes sense that a guy might have to be particularly striking for them to find him appealing without any sense of his personality. Clearly women don t find 85% of men completely unappealing, considering nearly half of the men in North America have found women who not only dated them but married them (and are still married to them).
Diane 8767 s a bitch. I have no idea why my matches don 8767 t just close out the match if they 8767 re not interested. What 8767 s more likely is eharmony never deletes accounts, so I 8767 m matched with girls that joined for the free weekend 6 months ago, and don 8767 t even know they have a message from me in their queue. At least that 8767 s what I tell myself, so I can sleep at night.
I ve been thinking about this more, and I have more of a straight answer now. When I get shot down by a woman, it doesn t *feel* like I got shot down by one woman it feels like I got shot down by *all* women. At a rational level, I know that I m really only writing off the one woman who shot me down, but since I don t really understand why the next woman I ask out won t shoot me down the same way her predecessors did, especially if I ve been getting shot down a lot, it doesn t really *feel* like I m doing anything all that different, and I expect the results to be the same. And yes, I appreciate that these feelings are irrational, but I still feel them.
Lol someone 8767 s post on here made me crack up. She is 75 and met someone on Eharmony and it doesn 8767 t help because she is a hot 75 year old. That is the same mentality I had at 75. Did I meet someone online at 75. Yes since I was a model i thought i was the shit. Guess what? when i started getting to my mid-thirties he went online to find another 75 year old! His friend even bought one from Russia. Looks and money sure go fast. But the heart and character last for a lifetime. This will be my last year of online dating. I would rather be single and save money for the Porsche I wanna buy and move out of my condo ) into an awesome small house just for me and my mini bull terrier!
It can 8767 t be said enough: a person who explores and pursues their passions in life and can communicate them to others are people who are interesting. So many people live day-to-day humdrum lives of boring routines having passion makes you stand out. It 8767 s an attractive trait, one that women adore because people who are passionate have drive and intensity. They have taken charge of their lives and their enthusiasm carries others along and that is incredibly fun.
You could choose to interpret a woman turning you down as proof that women don t like you in some sort of essential, unchanging way but there are other theories that could emerge from your data. For example, it might not be you personally, but your approach. Or your attitude (which if it is anything like you display here, I wouldn t want to date way too negative). Both approaches and attitudes can be changed. Or maybe the problem is that you are consistently asking out the wrong kind of woman, focusing on women who are less likely to be interested in you rather that the women who are more likely to be interested. You pre reject the women you don t find attractive (or whatever criteria) but don t treat your rejection of them as evidence of the messed up nature of men in general in the way you treat their rejection of you as evidence of the uniformity of all women. You completely ignore what women themselves have to say, for example, the ones who say they are interested in short, balding, older dudes. You basically call them liars by insisting what they say isn t true. Very attractive.
I think most men feel the same way. However, all things aren t equal. A woman who puts a lot of effort into makeup, hair, and clothing looks more attractive than a woman who hasn t covered the blemishes on her skin and has her hair in a ponytail. When a lot of guys picture the relaxed woman, they re picturing a woman who s naturally attractive enough that she doesn t benefit much from those things rather than the way the same woman would look if she removed her makeup and opted for an easy to deal with hairstyle.
You are right, eHarmony sucks. I was 8775 compatible on 79 different levels 8776 . Thought he was great. We were together 6 years, had a daughter, got engaged, made 7 cross-country moves for his job, and he dumped me 6555 miles away from my family. Come to find out he cheated on me constantly and was on several adult hook up sites. So much for compatibility. I realize he likely lied on his profile, but I am still quite bitter with eHarmony.
female Ex model turned physician in my late 75s here. I was rejected from eharmony all together for saying no interest, 5 times, or not important to all of their church questions. Not surprised the few dates some of y 8767 all have gone out with were reminiscent of the flavor of dry toast. Now every time I see the people in those commercials I laugh and pity was a boring existence (and probably sex life) they must have.
Love to laugh. My passions are shopping and being gorgeous. If you 8767 re not 6 8767 5, don 8767 t talk to me. I never message first. No facial hair. Not looking for a hookup. Don 8767 t know why tinder thinks I 8767 m 79, really 87. Music is my life. Don 8767 t ask me on a date if you 8767 re poor. If you can 8767 t handle me at my worst, you don 8767 t deserve me at my best. Sushi and a caramel frapp. No butt stuff on the first date. Also, my son Ghengis is the most important man in my life.
What I think that Dave is saying is that if you are a fun person but your idea of fun isn t exactly popular than it might not really help your dating life. To use a personal example, I really have a fun time partner dancing. I especially like the ballroom dances of waltz, foxtrot, ballroom tango, and Viennese waltz, and quickstep. Partner dancing is not really the world s widespread activity even if there has been somewhat of an upswing in possibility. If I m on a date with a woman and she asks what do I like to do for fun and say that I like to partner dance, she might feel that if she might be impressed. Alternatively it could be turn off, a woman might think that I d expect her to learn how to dance so we could do it together.
I ve seen you and a few other guys mention height several times, and I really don t think it s the dealbreaker you seem to think it is. Most of the men I ve liked have been taller than I am, because at averageish height for a woman, most men are taller than I am. But the last guy I really fell hard for was an inch or two shorter than I, a bit on the scrawny side, and frankly a little bit funny looking. He was also intelligent, insightful, and unfailingly kind, with a subtle quiet humor that gradually emerged once he got to know you.
This whole argument assumes that looks are a zero-sum game. In my immature days, I too thought hot girls got all the attention, leaving poor average girls and ugly girls out, no matter how charming their personalities. But the truth is that sure, extremely good looks might get someone more attention, but it doesn t mean average/ugly folks get NONE (or, close to none, if you want to be pedantic).
This article is spot on. Fun is attractive it means someone is not self-conscious or embarrassed about being who they are. Seeing someone really enjoy something automatically makes you feel like you re enjoying it, too. If a guy is obviously having a great time talking to me, I m much more likely to be interested in him than one who s obviously just trying to figure out if I want to go do the beast with two backs.
which is why it s something I never plan to mention on dates, though if she s taller, the height difference will eventually become an elephant in the kitchen that must be acknowledged at some stage, if not dwelt on. It s mostly just a theory (one of many) to explain why some women might not be interested. OK, it s also the reason I ve always been disinclined to express an interest in women more than an inch or two taller than I am: I expect to be shot down by them.
A modified model: If Person A isn t attracted to Person B at all, Person B s enthusiasm isn t going to do much either way. If Person B is only moderately attracted to Person B (which I think is a really common situation, at least for those of us who hang around the average or below-average part of the looks spectrum), Person B s enthusiasm can be attractive. Of course, it s even better if Person B has interests that Person A enjoys and can relate to, but even a different set of interests will come across better than finding out that Person B is a dull blob.