Posted: 2017-10-12 16:07
You mean most of the good men. It stinks though when the few good men out there are not given a chance, sure I realize that maybe men might have to do something to spark an attraction, but do you also realize that there are men that say the same about women? Where are all the good women?? It''s hard to find them. A lot of women say that, "where are the good men" when they are not good women themselves. It''s hard to know if it''s because they aren''t good women or its because men aren''t given a chance, it maybe just because they aren''t good women in the first place. It is a sad world out there, agree
"telling a woman about what you would like to do to her sexually without any prompting is not a compliment."
Some guys get off on those kind of fantasies. If it came to actually performing any of the acts with a woman, they would freeze. They are all talk and no action.
Some guys think it is funny to be graphic and scaring the crap out of women.
Some guys are misguided and think that is the way to prove their machismo.
And then some guys are just predators.
I''ve sent dozens of messages (not hundreds yet), along with "winks" (do these even work? or do women actually find them silly at best, offensive at the least?), with no response. I am paid on POF so I can see where a ton aren''t read. A few read, some read then deleted and some deleted outright. I respect the deleted ones, so I don''t even bother. A few of those were probably out of my league anyway (I was too old, or they were way more active or maybe interests didn''t match). I had hoped that I would have gotten a little more response out of the others, especially ones who were mutual "meet me" that POF has. But even that didn''t garner a response. So then I don''t know if sending more messages is expected, tacky, pestering, or what. I feel like I need to based on what some women seem to be saying because mine are probably getting lost in the shuffle and I need to work at keeping myself visible.
Yes, its true, that most women get lots of attention, but that doesn''t mean anything. All girls that i know, want to find an actual boyfriend, and hopefully, eventually, someone to move in with, get married, have kids etc. But the vast majority of the guys just want to "chill and netflix". Sometimes, i feel like women are a bit more honest. If we don''t respond, we are not interted - that''s it. Sorry, we can''t be interested in every single person that messages us. Sometimes, there might be nothing wrong with you, but we all have our types and dealbreakers. I keep finding guys who seem interested in me, but whenever things get too serious for their liking, they run away like crazy. I''d rarher be ignored, than led on till i start developing feelings just to have my heart broken.
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I have many more stories but don''t have the time to post I hope this helps some women out in knowing that there''s a lot of good women out there and the men are just treating us like garbage and something has to stop I am ready to abandon my online dating account because it just isn''t worth it to me to get used like an old rag especially when I am NOT looking for anything casual even though I enjoy sex as much as the next person does.
I also have to commend you on how you''ve dealt with a comments section that''s filled with all the vitriol that comes along with an article about women''s perspectives. While these comments have fueled a sense of misanthropy that commenters have instilled in me lately, I''m very proud to be part of a group of authors at MakeUseOf who are unafraid to put themselves out there and discuss issues that immediately bring out the worst in people (and patiently, gently, and effectively deal with the predictably disgusting responses).
While it is true that straight women get more attention on dating sites than men, that doesn&rsquo t always mean it&rsquo s positive attention from safe potential partners 5 Signs You Shouldn''t Date That Guy You Met On The Internet 5 Signs You Shouldn''t Date That Guy You Met On The Internet I was an online player. Here are the tricks I used to win women''s hearts &ndash and how to spot them. Read More . As an experiment I set up accounts on three of the more popular free dating websites, then spoke to some women about their experiences.
I think both sides need to step up our game and realize what is REALLY going on here. Who knows where all the drain and noise is coming from, though we know the sources such as scammers, desperate loser types, stalkers, catfishers, etc. And there doesn''t seem to be too much that can be done about limiting that. However, if we are aware of it, we can do things to try to counter it. It also seems that we need to become more strategic and not so bitter about how to approach all of this. I see where a bridge needs to be built here somehow. Any suggestions?
It is and some are, had a bunch of dates on there before I met my girlfriend who we now live together and have a beautiful baby boy I see what your saying and agree that it can be difficult bc online you are a sitting target. Where as in the real world it is harder for men to key in on victims. You just have to be more careful use an extra screening process and not take things so personal knowing it is a numbes game and nothing that is exceptional should be expected or necessarily easy to like life if you want something special sometimes it takes hard work!
On tinder for example I get like 7% matches. If those same women saw me in real life id get at least 75% of the women im interested in, which would mean almost 98%(if they were all single and looking). I''ve seen similar guys as me, popular guys that try tinder and get zilch. Is it our fault for not wanting to work more on our profiles and hire professional photographers? Anyway I find anyone who spends more than 7 hours on an internet profile is wasting their time. I''ll just stick to real life, where women show a lot more judgement.
Dating stinks. Not all guys are arrogant, self absorbed jerks wanting one night stands. So, it seems all men are thrown into the same mix of dirtbags. I''ve dated a lot of ladies and yes I have my standards. Who wants to settle. The gals I''ve dated were attractive and my ex wife was good looking. The head games played by women, empty profile or blatant ignores makes online dating a serious crapshoot. "Lets go for coffee" crickets.. very frustrating.
I don''t respond anymore until I leave work. He continued to text some more during the course of that day. When I got home I looked at all of the texts and my first thought was "he''s crazy" and he''s showing me that he''s controlling, so I proceeded to let him know that he and I were not compatible. I wished him luck in meeting his compatible half and he proceeded to call and text until about midnight.
I don''t know what to do about the jerks. I think a lower percentage of guys that are like this are out there. But for some reason these idiots are taking up all of the dating bandwidth. And about the only thing I can see nice guys who really want this to work bringing to the table is to just not get bitter and disappointed. I don''t know, it is really hard to see how to break this cycle that is destroying online dating for the majority of us. It would be helpful to know that possibly a new kind etiquette be understood by women that repeat messages that are nice should be acceptable and that we men kindly engage them with these that we get a chance to overcome the idiots by countering them somehow. Also, maybe people could work up some kind of meta-dating situation (something like responding to websites about online dating or, as I said above, some kind of rating system)?
For the eyes, Hurley recommends a technique called &ldquo squinching&rdquo , to make you look more likeable, confident, and influential. It&rsquo s not the same as squinting! In a squint, you narrow your upper and lower eyelids, right? In a squinch, you only move your lower eyelid. Bring the lower eyelid as close to the pupil as possible. Yes, your upper eyelid will involuntarily move a little, and that&rsquo s okay just don&rsquo t voluntarily move it, or you&rsquo ll turn it into a squint. Watch Hurley&rsquo s video, practice it a few times and you&rsquo ll get it right.
Really! I am a woman and just gave up on POF and Eharmony because I did not receive 6 message in the whole 6 months I paid to be on both sites. That''s right! Not one message. Not lewd, poorly written or otherwise. So I don''t'' see how it is harder for a man who can message anyone he likes, than it is to sit and wait and get nothing. Even "unattractive" men get more attention than that. But if you are an average or worse looking female, you might as well not even sign up.
I received death threats 9rm a man I met on POF, after I spoke w him several times over the cell. I cancelled meeting him & he sent me at least 75 very threatening & disgusting text msg. One was a sex act, one a pic of his bowel movement. He said he will find me & kill me. He''s a phychopath & my gun stays w me now at all times. I thank God I didn''t meet this phyco, I have filed a police report & saved the text msgs. I blocked him after the texts wouldn''t stop. I''ve spoken w several men & when I felt they weren''t the one I moved on as did they. Women please please b careful - have the long talks letting them talk more - they will tell u all u need without knowing. Follow ur gut. I never spoke about sex w this freak but he accused me of playing sex games. One pic was a woman''s butt filled w sperm he said "eat my cum out her ass bitch" "die bitch" "I will find u & kill u".Terrifying that I met someone straight out a serial killer movie or criminal minds. He even sat on a xerox machine & sent a pic of that. I hope he gets locked up. Mind u this man "seemed " normal until I stopped talking to him.
Mate, the above article is actually understating some of the abuse women receive. One friend got tons of downright judgemental messages on one site for putting up a photo of her at a party on the basis of it "not being respectable". Another got a torrent of abuse from one guy on Tinder as she wouldn''t respond to the ever innovative ''hi'' failing to understand that matching doesn''t mean he owns her. Whenever I meet someone online I worry about scams - female friends have to worry about that PLUS where is safe to meet. It''s all too common even offline - I was at a social event years ago where a guy threw a punch at a woman as she wouldn''t sleep with him and I could hear him rant about how he had "earnt it" by chatting her up, and only for a female friend holding his arm he didn''t connect. But I''m sure it''s just cynically amusing for me to go on about sexual aggression any more.
Others in the past have conducted similar experiments, setting up fake accounts on free dating websites and recording the messages they received. Cracked&rsquo s Alli Reed set up &lsquo the worst online dating profile ever &rsquo and still received heaps of messages from men who wanted only to hook up with the terrible woman she had created. Continuing to be horrible did not dissuade any of them.
Third. When a female does message me, they will usually start with the usual "hi" and "how are you?", but that is the extent of it. Every response after that are short one-word answers, never a question, that do nothing to advance the conversation. One male that i know told me it is because "their real intention is to hook-up but they don''t want to sound like a slut so you need to engage." I can''t agree with this, but at the same time. i don''t have a better answer for why this happens so much.