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If you are both ready to make and keep these promises to each-other, then you are ready to love. When you keep them, you demonstrate your love for each-other. After you formally make your promises at your wedding, you complete or consummate these promises with sexual intercourse. Every time that you subsequently have sexual intercourse, you reinforce your promises – it is truly a wonderful and mutually satisfying experience.


Me and this girl have been seeing eachother for a while now. I like her ALOT. When the text came telling me that she wasnt a virgin, the moment i read it i just froze up. I couldnt do anything, i just felt sick to my stomach. She never really had a boyfriend. So it was just a random? Its been 8 days now, I like her too much but its in the back of my mind all the time. I havent eaten, everyone i see says i look sick. My parents are asking about us. Ive been distant with all my friends. Shes the first girl i ever really liked, and i just feel so trapped and im not sure if this should bother me that much.

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I cannot express the guilt I carry for giving myself away so foolishly. After realizing what is important (and it 8767 s not having sex so someone will love you more, or so that you can feel better about yourself), I decided to re-wait until marriage. Holding on to what you believe is right in your youth becomes so much more right the more fully you realize why you should hold on to it. And losing it has the opposite effect. It is awful.

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So again, stay strong and see where this goes. Talk to him about it. Get all the gory details on the table so you can stop filling in the blanks with your own terrible anti-fantasies about his history. As I said to Jezhr above, the reality is often refreshingly unremarkable. You have built-up his history in your head to involve all these worse-case scenarios. In reality it 8767 s probably nothing like that, and finding that out from him can be very

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Hello there was a guy in the same class as didn notice him at first but he suddenly staring at me and i notice that for a few times. And that action of him makes my heart flutter. I feel weird at first because he never talked to me before but staring at me with a serious face its sure catch my also makes me felt akward. It keeps on like this for a few days. At first i didnt want to think about it so i just ignore it. But recently he suddenly teasing me and looking and staring that makes me feel akward, happy, flattered. I tried to ignore it even my heart flutter more and more. Few hours after that he sat beside me and i am eating. It makes me felt akward and nervously but i tried hard not to make it obvious. He suddenly talked to me and for sometimes i thought he is not the one who talking to me. So i look at him a few seconds just to confirmed it then answered. After that when we walked in the hallway i saw him looking at me and smile so i smile back. Is he interested in me or what? He never intiated texting or calling me. It seems that i am the one who is more interested, liking and into him

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I 8767 ve been with my boyfriend for the past six months & I too told him when we started dating that I was saving myself for marriage. And my guy also said admired that quality in me. But I made sure to ask him if he was sure that he wanted date a virgin because like you there 8767 s not a time limit on my virginity either. He agreed but now seems to be backtracking on it so now I kind of feel like I 8767 m being played. He has like zero patience for me now, can 8767 t cuddle with me for five minutes without him turning aggressive. It 8767 s at the point now where it 8767 s like our kisses & hugs are fake on his part because they feel forced or don 8767 t last. He doesn 8767 t wait for me to kiss him back he just starts trying to force his tongue down my throat & doesn 8767 t understand why I 8767 m not turned on yet. It 8767 s almost like I 8767 m not even there like he 8767 s trying to use my body for some release that I 8767 ve already told him I can 8767 t give him.

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My ex boyfriend cared about texts, he lived by texting. Our entire communcation was based on texts. When I called, he didn 8767 t answer nor did he call me back. It was a huge problem for me and it helped my decision to finally end it (after a year +). Even after ending things, he sent an apology via annoying! I have never felt so disregarded before with other boyfriends (by means of communication). Am I to assume he just wasn 8767 t that into me, or just immature?

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Hope I really feel your struggle I had started thinking I was the only one going thru this. I think I 8767 m going to break up with him because he 8767 s pressuring me more & more. Last night he said we might as well not cuddle anymore because I 8767 ll be the only one 8775 getting off 8776 . After saying that crap I don 8767 t understand how 8767 d he think I 8767 d be turned on by him anyway. Truthfully, I haven 8767 t been turned on sexually by him because he is too aggressive. I 8767 ve dated him for six months trying to get to know him and from what I saw and learned I really liked him. But this side I hate. I 8767 ve heard folks say that sex is the icing on the cake, it makes the cake better. He 8767 s made my cake bitter without me even trying it first.

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That 8767 s why I see that as a warning sign. I don 8767 t try after that I just leave. I hope one day I find a woman who is strong, stable, and independent doesn 8767 t NEED me around and is able to meet me in the middle to enjoy the quality time we have together, not the superficial time she tries to create to provide herself with some kind of false sense of validation. If you can 8767 t feel validated when no one is around when you 8767 re all alone, by yourself, and your friends are a thousand miles away then you won 8767 t ever feel satisfied no matter how much attention a man gives you or how much you whine about how he needs to hold your hand more, send you more flowers, and respond to your texts seconds after you send them.

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We knew we were going to get married for many years before- however I do not want this past incident to affect our marriage in terms of comparing myself against this woman. I don 8767 t feel like making love will be as beautiful and pure for us mutually. I would greatly appreciate any advice you have on learning to forgive my partner, love him for who he is now, and continue to uphold my values of waiting until marriage.

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I 8767 m trying to not think about it so much but in the end when he kisses me, I can imagine him kissing her. I get all wrapped up in jealous that when he say he loves me and wants to be with me, he probably has said all those things to her. Why am I so upset about it? I know I can 8767 t change it I 8767 m thinking IF I LOVE HIM SO MUCH, then I won 8767 t hold his past against him but at the same time I DON 8767 T WANT TO COMPROMISE my values of also being someone 8767 s first and only.

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Simple as it is but very hurting, I must admit that just a thought of her having sex with that guy makes me sick. I loose appetite and always picture her with him. I usualy ask, what did he tell her that she gave in to him, not once but thrice?? Am no longer a virgin and my first time was with her. Sometimes when am undressing her i cry just after thinking that that other man might have undressed the same clothes. I must admit that its a big blow on my side. (

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Whaahah Jessica dats a guy who already did it when he was 6 what the hell. and he say 8767 s he wish he could take it back what a lie 8767 s you know if you just wait till you actually old enough and not just 69 or 68 or something then those things will not happen. And shure i bet he didn 8767 t even wanted to just sex right because he is sucha good guy. jeeszs girls are relly F up these last years.
we have waaay tooo many dumb dirty teen thong sluts in this world!! dating loser pervs who aren 8767 ts even a virgin anymore soo gross you want trash like that!!

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What does one do to get through the emotional trauma? Your heart is toren apart, your body feels like trash, you feel you blame yourself for the wrong decisions you made, for being educated yet so naive to have taken such a wrong decision and been cheated on You still love him though he broke your heart by deciving you So please tell me what you would do if this happened to you. Thanks

Thanks for your comment. I totally agree that, ideally, all of us waiters would only date other people who are waiting till marriage exactly like we are. But that can 8767 t always happen. And not always for bad reasons. Sometimes you meet a non-waiter that you really like. Or sometimes you meet somebody who is also waiting, but not at the same level you are (like maybe they do other things that you don 8767 t).

I do believe in giving my man freedom. Because I appreciate the freedom too. Actually, though I 8767 m a girl, I function like a man. I like attention but too much attention turns me down. I 8767 d get annoyed if my man doesn 8767 t have a social life and needs to see me all the time. That 8767 s not attractive. I use to bug my bf a lot too but once I thought in his shoe, I got over it. I don 8767 t need to know exactly what he 8767 s doing all the time. I don 8767 t need to wait for his reply and analyze every message all the time. I 8767 m slowly killing myself if I do that. Being all needy and clingy is never attractive don 8767 t you think Charl?

Hi everyone and Mike,
I was brought up in a strict Christian environment and I waited till I got married. I was 85, she was 78. We were both virgins and our love-sex life is good. I cant compare as I dont have any other experiences. Waiting until marriage was not a choice I took, but it was the social setup and upbringing. I am 88 now and as I look back, I would most likely not remain a virgin. I came to the US when I was 77 and I get enough stories from friends and coworkers about their rich sex life. I know so many who had sex with their coworkers and innumerable one night stands and short flings. As a guy, I feel I am living a super boring life to have had sex soo late in life and with only 6 woman. I am dying to go have some women or one night stands even if it means risking my marriage. I cannot come to terms with the fact that I will see only 6 woman for the rest of my life when almost every coworker I know of has had sex with 75-55+ people. I want to go see a sex therapist cause I dont seem to find a solution.
Any advice would be helpful and your article is bang on target. When I dated I always asked sexual history, cause I was a virgin and expected the same.

Sabrina I just want to take time to tell you and Eric how AWESOME your advice is, and how grateful I am for it, as millions all over the world also are I 8767 m sure! I am in my 95 8767 s and could have used this advice 75 years ago, maybe I would have spared myself alot of heartache. I have a 66 yr old son, and much of this advice about men I can apply to him also in a way I am truly feeling much happier and hopeful in life now that I am learning how men YOU BOTH!! I will def be buying your books!

This article and a lot of comments on here really miss the mark in some ways. It is never ok to call a woman a whore. Acting like you are better than those who haven 8767 t grown up in church or saved sex for marriage is setting a bad example and showing the church/our faith in a bad light. It 8767 s a personal decision and something you can be proud of for yourself, but it 8767 s never ok to make others feel less or ashamed because of their past choices. None of us are perfect.

I 8767 m advocating the 8775 just get over it for now 8776 approach for their sexual past itself, but not for the values implied by their sexual past. That is, just because you stop torturing yourself over how many partners they 8767 ve had, doesn 8767 t mean you totally sweep their attitude towards sex under the rug. Often, many other personality characteristics stem from their past behaviors. You still want to pay very close attention to those, and be watchful.

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