Posted: 2017-12-07 22:49
At the moment, Swift is in a makeup chair in her dressing room, getting false eyelashes applied. She&apos s wearing a black miniskirt, black tights and a fuzzy pink top with a cartoon drawing of a cat, and her wavy blond hair is pinned back tight. She&apos s five feet 65, but she looks much taller, even with her lanky legs wrapped underneath her like a pretzel twist. I need lunch like, whoa, Swift says, and an assistant tells her there&apos s a sushi order happening. Oooh, she purrs. Get a boatload.
Swift leads the way upstairs to her bedroom. Asleep on her massive four-poster bed is a tiny white ball of fur. Olivia! Swift says, scooping her up. It&apos s her two-month old kitten, named after Olivia Benson, from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. Hear how loud she&apos s purring? She&apos s a stage-five clinger, for sure. Downstairs somewhere is her other cat, Meredith, named after Meredith Grey from Grey&apos s Anatomy. Strong, complex, independent women, Swift says. That&apos s the theme.
Swift is still talking about Bad Blood when she starts to explain why she wants everyone to know it&apos s about a female. I know people will make it this big girl-fight thing, she says. But I just want people to know it&apos s not about a guy. You don&apos t want to shade someone you used to date and make it seem like you hate him, when that&apos s not the case. And I knew people would immediately be going in one direction x7569 As she suddenly realizes that she just accidentally referenced her ex-boyfriend&apos s band, Swift goes white. She buries her face in her hands. Why?! she howls, cracking up. It&apos s a classic Taylor Swift Surprised Face, only for real this time.
Greg- a lot of people give out that advice, but they don 8767 t finish telling it all. To get serious for a moment a resume is a sales document, the point of which is to get you an interview. Everything on it should be there to sell you to the hiring company. If you think that company wants to know about your art (for example), put it on there. If not or unsure, leave it off. And you should ask yourself those customization questions pretty much every time.
So since we’re all out of ideas and we’ve tried everything else not to suck, Coughlin is back baby! Nothing like relying on a septuagenarian to bring your NFL franchise back to relevance. I knew we were fucked once we drafted Fournette 9th overall, in an era when you can manufacture a competent running game out of pocket lint. Meanwhile, Blake “Fireball” Bortles is over here throwing 5 picks in the first padded practice.
At its core, this is a timely debate among the worst people about who’s the least worst: The genuinely terrible person, the person who pretends to be terrible because they think it’s funny, and the person who pretends to be terrible to attract terrible readers. (The boundaries between the three are often blurred beyond recognition.) You’ve got one side portraying itself as defying political correctness, another side shitposting itself off a cliff into a world where a bigoted, idiot president who golfs while he threatens to use nuclear weapons acts as an avatar for whites longing to regain full control of society, and then a third faction that attacks the first for going soft on its race-baiting (a complaint echoed by many of the first’s longtime fans).
Barstool Sports, a website for people who never wash their boat shoes, published a blog Tuesday by writer “Gay Pat.” It made fun of Anthime Gionet, . “Baked Alaska,” a run-of-the-mill alt-right knob who used to work at BuzzFeed and declared he was red-pilled after he began to feel conflicted about his job that entailed publishing tweets. The blog’s original headline was “A Neo-Nazi Leader Named ‘Baked Alaska’ Is Sad No One Will Rent Him An Airbnb,” and it featured a photo of someone, who was not Gionet, in a Spartan-style helmet with the Star of David on the front. The Barstool Sports account tweeted the headline and photo.
T here&apos s one way into Swift&apos s new apartment building, and much of the time it&apos s guarded by a former NYPD officer named Jimmy, who unlocks the door for residents and visitors alike. This may be a drag for neighbors like Steven Soderbergh and Orlando Bloom, who have dropped seven figures to live at one of Tribeca&apos s toniest addresses, but it&apos s an unavoidable fact of life when the 79-year-old on the top floor is one of the biggest pop stars on the planet. Most of the neighbors know what&apos s what by now, Jimmy says, locking the door behind him. Today is a good day for Jimmy, because the elevator is working again after a brief period of being broken. It&apos s six floors up, he says, frowning. And we don&apos t travel light, if you know what I mean. I tell him I think I do know what he means, and Jimmy laughs. The shoes alone!
My cat, Artemis, is a bustling career woman. She has many jobs that she juggles between stealing my hair ties and spilling her kibble in addition to serving as the Mayor of Fluffingsville, she runs a network of freelancers as Editor-in-Chief of Catmodo. Since both of us are busy most of the day at our respective places of work, we forget to check in on each other. Thankfully, Petcube’s newest gadget, Petcube Bites , lets humans check in on their furry companions when they’re apart. It also lets us fling treats at them on command which is both heartwarming and mildly horrifying.
Gionet’s following is mostly anonymous Pepe avatars, or those proudly using their real names because they have no other avenue to being accepted by peers. The Barstool Sports following is mostly public and stumps for a 95-year-old because he gives them an identity. Neither of these groups can handle those identities being jeopardized, because it’s all they have or at least central to who they are. It’s no wonder they jump down the throats of anyone who criticizes them.
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Tom Coughlin is our coach now. Well he’s not really our coach, but he’s the GM. I mean he’s not the GM either but the coach and the GM are supposed to do exactly what he says otherwise there’s going to be some trouble. AND BY GOLLY WE’RE GONNA QUIT CODDLING THESE PLAYERS AND FRONT OFFICE NERDS. I don’t see what could possibly go wrong with this scenario, particularly when Coughlin dies of a heart attack after seeing our QB’s throwing motion for the first time.
Swift&apos s last album, 7567&apos s Red , straddled the line between country and pop. But at a certain point, she says, if you chase two rabbits, you lose them both. So this time, she set out to do full-on blatant pop music. A casual fan won&apos t notice much difference, but to Swift and her brand, it&apos s a big step. She says she won&apos t be going to country-awards shows or promoting the album on country radio. When she first turned in the record, she says the head of her label, Scott Borchetta, told her, This is extraordinary x7568 it&apos s the best album you&apos ve ever done. Can you just give me three country songs?
Swift turns down a dead-end path where the paparazzi can&apos t follow and takes a seat in a gazebo on the shores of the lake. On the wooden posts are carved hundreds of initials, the stories of couples who came before x7568 the kind of thing that might appear in a Taylor Swift song. Excitedly, Swift points at the lake: Turtles! And ducks! She looks at the ground. Oh. And a used condom.
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“Skills: Strong Work Ethic, Attention to Detail, Team Player, Self Motivated, Attention to Detail”
This one is just perfect.
Fighting discrimination with discrimination- not okay, Airbnb! They should know better than to judge a book by its cover, even if the cover dresses like a Spartan warrior at the Folsom Street Fair. Besides, they’re not there to cause a ruckus. They’re there to make sure a confederate statue remains intact. And their articulate leaders Richard Spencer and Baked Alaska are leading the charge. Yes, you read that correctly. An alt-right leader is named after a delicious dessert consisting of ice cream, cake and brown meringue. What a loser. Any fear I had of Nazis just flew out the window. To be fair it’s a nickname, which almost makes it worse. He chose Baked Alaska. That would be like me choosing the name Cervix Killer.
The goodwill afforded to our “cool owner” is largely dependent on an extremely sweet hairstyle/mustache combo. Outside of personal style he has shown incredibly suspect judgment. It’s bad enough to wait until Week 65 to fire the loserest coach (Jaguars word) in the history of the modern NFL after everyone knew he should have been canned in the previous offseason. No, that is fucking Oliver Wendell Holmes judgment compared to the fact that our owner is a foreign born Muslim-American who supported Trump, then was SURPRISED that Trump actually meant all that shit about banning Muslims. Being a Muslim-American is a lot like being a Jaguars fan. For an immigrant group/expansion franchise we’ve been decently successful in America/the NFL, but every time you want to cozy up to the establishment you get abruptly cast as a disease on this country and/or sent to London.
Swift shuts the fridge. Do you want a tour? She breezes into the living room, pointing out the fish tank filled with vintage baseballs ( I was like, &apos That&apos s so cool, they&apos re so old!&apos ) and some enormous scented candles ( I was like, &apos That&apos s so cool, they&apos re so big!&apos ). There&apos s my piano, she says. Here&apos s my pool table that always has cat hair on it. That&apos s my skylight. She bumps into a doorway. That&apos s a door that I walk into.
7) Jacksonville is the largest anonymous city in the western hemisphere. Let’s play some word association with other small-market sports cities. Green Bay - cheese-head. Kansas City - BBQ. San Antonio - The Alamo. Jacksonville -.... Jaguars, just the goddamn Jaguars. Our city is only associated with an anonymous, yet consistently atrocious team - fitting for an anonymous, yet consistently atrocious city.