Posted: 2017-10-13 02:00
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Hey here is this guy who just asked me out on 69th saying it as a friends date even said to think about a place where we two of us can go. Then just the next day when i asked him 8775 whoz gonna b ur valentine 8776 he said 8775 no6 8776 i was shocked but den i replied 8775 awww no problems 8776 n then he asked me 8775 what about you?? 8776 and in a flirtatious tone i replied 8775 you, who else :p 8776 then he said 8775 i m not going to meet anyone on valentines day 8776 i said 8776 so friends date cancel?? 8776 n he replied 8775 yeah may be with a wink face 8776 then i replied 8775 tell me exactly so that i can make other palns 8776 n he replied 8775 okay go for it..!! 8776
Eric please help me i m really confused about this guy what does he really wants n m sure that he likes me..!!
I tend to shy away from putting too many heavy labels on people I care about so I have never even thought, let alone proclaimed my husband to be my best friend till now. He is my best friend, but that 8767 s because we 8767 ve moved so many times and work so much nad I haven 8767 t even tried to replace my old friends in Slovenia I guess I don 8767 t want to. My personal definition of a friend is a person you can do things with, not so much a person you confess everything to and who notices your new haircut, and while it sounds banal, try finding someone who 8767 d be ready to go places, try new things etc. without too much judging, angst or other stuff (in my age bracket), especially someone who knows other people have the right to their own personality and don 8767 t need corrections 🙁
So, these days I keep much stuff for myself and so does my husband, but we know the right moments to come out with the truth when we see them and that is why I think he is my friend.
I agree with the age you are spot on. We career driven highly educated women just wish someone would have told us to focus on that then rather than now. I was still building my career then and I and other women of the 85s were raised that a man would fit in with us and our career not that we would have to fit in with them or gasp act more feminine to attract the men we want. We were never taught to do that. My mom did not teach me to cook or sew or keep a house. Never once was it brought up that I should seek a husband or bear children that was after. My Dad was the same. They wanted more. I was to go as far as school could take me get a great career and if a man fit in great. A girl focused on love had her head in the clouds. Look at the shows and commercials from,that era. Men of today are no thing like I said expected. So I 8767 m,glad you are spreading the honest word now to,women who are not too old to be,hear this ladies listen. It 8767 s too late for many of us to have birthday birthday biological children but for those of you that can I would say this career does not have a biological clock. My mom graduated college at 55.
Alternatively, confidence is sexy. If he sees that you don 8767 t give a damn about his ex because you know that you 8767 re boss ass babe, THAT will inspire him to give you his attention rather than giving it to his ex. Make him feel like he 8767 s winning. I know from my own experience that the more you worry about things that you have no control over, the more you begin to act in ways that actually push him away. It 8767 s the definition of a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I 8767 m not saying that the original poster doesn 8767 t have a valid concern, but worrying and acting from a place of insecurity is going to achieve the opposite of what she wants. It 8767 s human nature to rebel when you 8767 re pushed against a wall demanding or pushing him to stop talking to his ex is controlling and borderline co-dependent behavior. There 8767 s a reason that he 8767 s with you and not her, but if you don 8767 t feel that you can trust him, why are you with him?
For example, you may love going to art museums every weekend and he likes to read books about the connections of statistical analysis and baseball but it 8767 s still intellectual curiosity, you both still have that drive or motivation to learn more about something you are passionate about (art vs. baseball in this example). You may have different interests, but the basis of you as a person and your personality are in sync and compatible. That 8767 s where you get to be 8775 best friends 8776 with your SO- even with the 8775 differences 8776 you support each other. I 8767 m not talking about 8775 making sacrifices 8776 for each other, either- dragging him to a Picasso exhibit or trudging along to an Astros game with him-, but any good friend would make an effort to show that they care about the other person 8767 s interests.
Still, it has not worked with any of the guys I have dated recently. Several were players who hid that fact for the first few dates others were too conservative and straight laced to fit with my lifestyle and friend group some were wishy washy about marriage and family another contacted *me* on Match but lived hours away from my town, but yet was adamant that he would not move if we began dating (I recently relocated to my current city and my job is not fungible). I have been on guy-atus for the past couple months and trying to muster the nerve to try again. It is tough.
I think certain people want different things from a significant other. A best friend serves a different purpose than a partner to some people. And to other people these over lap. There 8767 s a best friend who is a 8775 partner in crime 8776 to some and a best friend whom you can share anything with but you may not want to spend all your time with to others. And some just seek a partner. Someone to bear life 8767 s challenges with you and since that can be so difficult, you may not feel like best friends.
I 8767 d love your opinion on this. My Ex and I broke up 7 years ago (he broke up with me) and have remained good friends for the past year. (It took about a year to get through the breakup). We have recently been hanging out a bit more than usual….(at least once or twice a month). Last week he took me to lunch for my birthday and to catch up. I asked what was happening in his life over the past month and all he mentioned was that he was working a lot. Yesterday we were suppose to have coffee and he called me in the morning saying he was seeing someone and that she wasn’t cool with him hanging out with me and that he wanted to respect her feelings because he would be jealous if she were hanging out with a guy she dated. I accepted, didn’t argue and asked if this meant we couldn’t be friends anymore (remaining friends was something he always wanted after we broke up). He said, “Not at all. Let me get back to you after the dust has settled.” He wants me and his gf to meet if she’s ok with it.
I agree that it somewhat bothers me when everyone says they are dating their best friend. However my reason might be self conceded. I met a guy in junior high and all throughout high school we were best friends. Then the summer after graduation we realized our feelings and started dating. So yes, i like all these other people say i 8767 m dating my best friend. but thats because he was only my best friend (that i shared everything with) and i dated other people for years. When people say the boy they just met and started dating a month ago is their best friend, i guess it makes me think they 8767 re lying hahaha
So true. I hate to feel like I am neglecting my best friends to prioritize my 8775 significant other 8776 (who I do consider one of my best friend, btw it just comes naturally considering the amount of fun, all the laughs, the things we tell each other about ourselves.), and I really don 8767 t want to be one of these girls that disappears when not anymore single. Nevertheless, I am so bad at keeping communication with friends/people in general, that I tend to destine all my attention to one person not sure how to let go of this mentality :O
I agree 655% that this is the most 8775 sane 8776 age for the average college-educated woman to marry. There will be exceptions and there were some sound reasons I didn 8767 t wed in that time window but overall, this is exactly what I 8767 d advise a daughter.
Many (most?) of us reading your blog are women who have passed this window. So, while I agree with your conclusion, I 8767 m much more interested in figuring out how to find lasting love in my 95s, 55s or beyond.
It all started when i went to my best friends party, i met a guy who was also her best friend, she hooked us up and we started dating. We dated for like 65 months and then we broke up. I was devistated to say the least. She was the first person i went to. It was weird because when i told her she wasnt sympathetic at all, she blamed it all on me. Anyway. This all happened in the last week before holidays. The holidays past and when i got back to school everyone was like whispering about me. So i went to a friend and she told me that my BFF at the time and my ex (who i was not over at all as it had only been two weeks) had gotten together over the holidays and were now dating. I was shocked and to make it worse they were making a big fuss about hiding it from me. My best friend had completely betrayed me. I confronted her, lets just say were not friends anymore. To make matters worse every time she sees me she makes a point of making out with him right in front on me, knowing how much it hurts me.
Another issue that isn 8767 t talked about is that s men never want to settle down until they 8767 re in the late thirties and on leaving woman at their age to fend for themselves. Suddenly, they want to be rewarded with a bride, and yes men sperm can get really old leading to many child birth defects, however they feel as if they have hit the jackpot. It isn 8767 t fair and the author has failed to mention societal biases. More and more woman are winning and having healthy children in their late ages. Soon, egg freezing will be a thing of the past.
For MTV, it makes for great entertainment —country girl meets Boston boy on The Real World: Austin. The two fall in love on the show, go on to compete in Challenges (and have yet to win one), then get divorced. Now, they''re back together. Well, on TV at least. Melinda Stolp, 79 was nervous when she was offered an opportunity to be on this season of Battle of the Seasons 7 , since it involved living with her ex-husband, Danny Jamieson. So we got all the details to tell you to get ready for tonight''s big show.
So I was dating this boy named Walter and I really really liked him, I still do, but we broke up because of a lot of problems with our friends. After we broke up he started to date this girl and I new that I could never get him back so I left it alone, and they broke up so about a month ago I was telling my friend about my still existing feelings for him and everything seemed fine, until I saw them cuddling up, and I was like wtf and I got absolutely furious. I was talking to Walter and he was telling me how he had a bae so I asked who it was and he was like I can 8767 t tell you and all I could say was what? So I asked if it my friend (let 8767 s call her Ciahlyn) and he said yes and then he started talking about how he was going to ask her out and I feel so betrayed but I had to play it cool so I said that 8767 s so cute, I lied and inside i want to yell at them.
.had a snide remark. As if she has never thought about getting back with a past boyfriend even years later. Yea right we know the truth. Everybody on the planet thinks back to the past and wonders What If. It is a natural and common thing. IMO the best way is not to to ignore those thoughts but encourage them to the limit of your imagination. You want to drown your head with so many thoughts about What If that you get bored with that person. Eventually they should pass as you replace memories of them with new people in your life. A handful of real friends with common interests and you should soon forget about that What If you still cling with and move on.
Wow, I give you kudos for responding to it in what seems like a pretty enlightened manner. If it were me I 8767 m with Cheryl- I 8767 d be pretty upset!
The bottom line here seems to be that he knows how this situation with his ex makes you feel (since you 8767 ve told him), and it 8767 s up to him to either do something about it, or not.
On your end, you have to decide if you 8767 re OK with his actions (or inaction) on that front. Like Evan says: if this guy isn 8767 t giving you what you personally need to feel secure well, after letting him know your feelings and giving it some time, all that 8767 s left is to leave.
I 8767 d advise maybe taking a step back, getting into your own hobbies, hanging out with some friends put yourself in a happy place and see where this goes.
Hi, my names Leslie. I have an ex where we left off on bad terms, I normally would be the one to always fall weak,but this time for some apparent reason I don 8767 t want it him back. He 8767 s now calling calling me texting me doing this he should 8767 ve of done when we were together,he says he misses me no other women can compare. What do I do?? Give him a chance are let go cause I really want him to know how it feels to lose me. Help me out with a little advice that would help thanks!!!!!