Posted: 2017-11-15 00:41
Unfortunately, the reality is nowhere near that fantasy. To get some insight into what women go through on these dating websites, I pulled aside one of my family members who I knew had spent some time on these sites looking for her future spouse. By the time of this interview, she had already given up and moved on, finally discovering her future husband while visiting old friends at her alma mater. Her responses completely surprised me.
We were to meet at the market in his neighborhood. I arrived early and texted him to let me know when he got there, and that I was going to go into one of the other stores. He texted me when he arrived (later than expedited). I came out and waited, but there was no one to be seen. He texted that he had to take a call form his 'boss' and he was terribly sorry. The call would take longer than he intended. I told him I was going to grab a bite to eat, to just let me know when he was available. I finally gave up and told him I was heading home. He said "I'm so sorry". I asked if he saw me. He said "no'" The next day I didn't hear anything. Again curiosity got the better of me. After a couple of days I said, 'If you'd like to try again, let me know, otherwise just tell me you're not interested and there would be no hard feelings.' I never heard from him again, tho I've seen him active on the site.
Most of the time, you can spot an online dating scammer by trusting your instincts if something looks off, be extra wary. It all seems obvious in hindsight, but people want to believe in other people, and that can get in the way of our better judgment. Always be on the lookout, and be extra wary when you meet new people online. If you have suspicions, don&rsquo t ignore them. Taking these precautions can help save you thousands of dollars and even more heartbreak.
And no, I will not let a guy spend my weekend with my kid with us - not until I've gotten to know him properly and we've been seeing each other for a while. It's to protect my child from getting instantly attached if there is no intention of commitment, and also just in case he is a deviant who preys on single mothers to get to their children. It happens, so I am very cautious. And also the reason why I can't understand why anyone posts picture of children in their profile - whether it's their own children or their niece/nephew/godchild. Dating sites are full of perverts. Keep children's pictures off them. (Sorry, that was going off the topic).
The internet is the number one reason for the rise of sexism on the modern age. Women see men for what they are and vice versa. Women ignore most men and clump them all together as pathetic or creeps in broad generalizations and only go for the male model looking profiles. Result is good looking men with professional grade photos and the women willing to have casual sex with them are the only ones getting what they want. Meanwhile other women despise that, the ones that arent interested in casual sex. They see the guys they would want to be with acting like apes because they get an all you can eat buffet while simultaneously ignoring men they could have chemistry with, because meeting people in person is very different from online.
I've yet to find a real dating site. What is missing from all these sites is the social aspect. almost has it. They have their "events", but they are few and far apart. A dating site should be where people.. wait for it.. TALK. interact, have people exchange their opinions and see if they are compatible. Hell, even have them play some games together as ice breakers. Instead of have this computer assume that just because you like Rock n Roll and she likes Jazz that you can't be together. We are a complex creature, we want to be challenged. We want to learn and get new experiences. Maybe he will love Jazz, maybe she'll love Rock. Maybe they will never love each other's music, but they will love each other because of their deep secret love for Captain Crunch cereal! However, without trying, or interacting, we will not know. Is there a risk? Of course, there is a risk at love. But, all good things come with a bit of risk after all. The faster people accept this, the faster you will find what you are looking for.
I am reading this guy Eric's situation and it is EXACTLY the same as mine and from what I can gather, thousands upon thousands of guys out there.
For sure a lot of the girls are "saying" they want the nice guy but end up looking for the guy they have spent an entire paragraph saying they do NOT want. Not all girls are this way though.
I truly believe that a MASSIVE amount of the blame can go to the guys who act like asses and the girls who let them get away with it. Clearly it works on some girls so these jerks continue to try until they find that girl.
Also a lot of girls need to lose the attitude, I mean seriously no matter how good looking you "think" you are, if your head is up your butt you are going to come out looking like poop.
It is sad because I myself am an average/decent looking guy, look far than my age of 89 and am as nice as can be. Yet I will get not one single response out of 85 messages.
The design of our education system clearly has its roots in the workings of industry. Teach children to be on time and ready for a full days learning. Teach children to submit to authority early (teacher) so as to be prepared to submit to those in managerial positions later on. Teach children to seek out permission in regards to bodily functions so as to further separate them from the ability to govern themselves. Likewise our education system separates children from families to further degrade our communal nature (including compassion and empathy) and therefore connection to each other.
A few years ago I had a profile on okcupid. I uploaded a few decent pictures of myself. I received a lot of views and a decent amount of messages. A year ago I created a new profile on okcupid and uploaded one picture that makes it somewhat more difficult to tell what I look like. This time around I've received considerably less profile views and considerably less messages. I have no way of knowing how okcupid may treat my profile due to this difference but I have experienced enough to know that women just like men are swayed by physical appearance.
In 7566, the Internet Crime Complaint Center estimated that the online dating scamming &ldquo industry&rdquo was worth over $55 million, but it&rsquo s likely much higher than that, due to the difficulty of making a good estimate. People are often ashamed to come forward and admit that they&rsquo ve been duped. It&rsquo s not a good feeling to have been taken advantage of, and a scheme that&rsquo s so obvious in hindsight is even harder to admit to.
My god you're a saint. Ireally didn't think anyone like you still existed in our society today, I try to do the same but some are so touchy and perhaps so used to ghosting that they lash out, but I still won't stop... well there's no need for a conversation after you made your lack of Interest clear, I believe that the sender is entitled to at least one written rejection before being ignored, call me crazy but I stand by this firmly and will continue to do so.
To clarify - we women aren’t going through our lives thinking, “Poor me, I’m so afraid of men!” Or, “all men are murderers and rapists,” either. It’s just a fact of life that is so absolutely ingrained in us from Day One that it becomes a subconscious part of our DNA. So please, try to remember things beyond your own paradigm. We will do the same for you. ? (At least the “nice, good” and worthwhile of we women will).
Also I can attest to the fact that I currently hold an account on okcupid. I am currently looking for a partner. I have also chosen to abstain from competition regarding wealth and power and instead am attempting to find a place on the fringes of society where I can be myself without harming others. I own very little, earn very little, and struggle to find women willing to get to know someone in my societal position as a potential partner.
Hi I met a gay man on gay Cupid he asked me for my e mail address which I have him he wanted to come over and visit me but said he only had 655 dollars so I said i would not send him his air flight personally but I would go through a travel agency which he recommended so I sent 576$ to the travel agents bank using swift bank numbers the travel agency sent me his reservation number and confirmed it then there was another problem he needed travel money so me not thinking I sent another 955$ on the day he was about to fly he said he was in a bad car accident and sent me letter to confirm it which he said his mother scanned for him also phot of him in hospital he said he will change air ticket flight when he gets better I don't know if i have been scammed or not
I'm not messaging guys out of my league. I don't want a guy that's super fit and looks like a movie star. I want a guy that I'm attracted to, but that I'll feel comfortable around. Eventually there would be sex, which won't happen if I'm too self-conscious or if I'm grossed out at the thought. So if I dream up my perfect man, he's going to be a little hefty, he's going to have a receding hairline and his face won't be clean shaven, he's going to wear comic book characters tshirts, he's also not going to be hugely successful, but he'll have his act together, he'll be well educated, and sarcastic, and a little bit dark, and if I were that guy, yeah, I'd date me because I'm pretty sure if I were a guy, this is the guy I'd be. I think perhaps you're reflecting your own insecurities and prejudices on others.
I became so weary of these half hearted advances and men who could not follow through, I just gave up. Why should I put out so much personal information about myself on the Internet for a bunch of really half hearted losers who were too cheap to even pay for a drink, and if they did, they felt it gave them license to grab me or shove their tongue downy throat on the first date? These men had no dating etiquette at all.
I totally agree. Don't know why but it seams to be very logical. For every average looking guy 55% of other guys online are above average, period. That's a lot of competition. And those guys that get picked don't have to settle at all, why would they? That's why women complain. They simply pick guys that they can't "afford". Women and men do exactly the same thing, they drop less interesting people as soon as possible. The difference is such that women drop guys before they meet them, guys drop women after they have sex with them.
It's the same outside the online world but on much smaller scale. When I look at my friends, 55% of them are divorced by now. But which 55%? The ugly 55. The more attractive 55 stayed together not because they were never interested in opposite sexes, oh no, exactly opposite, they had very interesting encounters. They are just cool and every woman wants them.
So I just got this thought. Maybe the whole idea with monogamy is just an absurd? Maybe everything is all right but we are looking at it from wrong perspective? Maybe handsome guys should have many women and many kids and ugly guys should go to war and die?
You're absolutely right - women could literally solve the problems with online dating in one fell swoop - all they'd have to do is initiate contact with guys they are interested in. Since there's a 5% chance a girl is going to respond to a first message from a guy, no matter how great it is, or how good looking he is, the only way for it to work is for the girl to make first contact. Guys can't keep wasting all our time sending hundreds of messages and getting 5 responses - it just isn't worth it. Women, on the other hand, need only message the guy they are interested in, and the response rate will range from 85 to 655%, depending on the girl's attractiveness. Contrast this with the 5% response rate that women give to men. It's clearly the only way for this issue to be resolved. Because right now, online dating doesn't work.
I wonder if the information provided about there being more men than women is for a particular age group? i m in my early 55's and trying online dating on e-harmony only. I am reasonably attractive and several of my photos were taken by a professional (not altered in any way-I wanted it to be clear that they are really like me and give the date taken). I've put a lot of effort into my profile so that it gives unique info about me and describes the qualities of a good guy are to me and despite having at least one hundred matches in my region I haven't received any communication sincc
e the first week when 7 men contacted me with questions. So I have communicated with several men. Only 7 replied. Are all the men contacting the same small subset of women or are they to lazy to communicate at all. Several of the men I communicated with then viewed my profile and neither responded or blocked me. It takes only 7 clicks to block a profile. I find it inconsiderate.
The technology is not the problem. The same thing exists whether online or off. For example, Eric's major problem is attempting to present himself as a "nice guy" even it happens that he is one. Single females are not looking for him. They want the guy who will treat them poorly, beat them physically or emotionally, imprison them without bars, enslave them without chains, etc. The only ones looking for the nice guy are already married to the bad boy who have done the above and only now realize that isn't what they should have been looking for. I have watched the same thing over and over again for decades. That aspect of the game has never changed, only the venue from face-to-face meetings in bars, clubs, schools and other physical locations and events to Match and eHarmony.