Posted: 2017-10-13 01:44
ex-husband definitely does not have AS, there were times in our marriage when I did puzzle over his detached behaviour: such as when he went off on a golf weekend with a friend who was on the brink of becoming engaged to a long-term girlfriend. I spent the entire weekend eagerly waiting for news of if and when the long-awaited proposal was going to transpire, but on his return, my husband just said: ‘Sorry, I forgot to ask.’
And there are plenty of other upsides to being married to an AS man. It is well known, thanks in part to the film Rain Man, in which Dustin Hoffman portrayed an autistic man with startling powers of memory, that those on the autistic spectrum often have very high IQs and qualities of pure brilliance. (Toby admits that he accepts the AS mantle ‘in part because of the link to genius levels of intelligence’). So an AS husband may be extremely successful and high-achieving, even if he’s more likely to do something involving interaction with computers, or research, than anything people-related. Going further back than the aforementioned Zuckerberg and Gates, Sir Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, Alfred Hitchcock and Charles Darwin were all said to be on the spectrum, along with Beethoven and Mozart.
The necessity of extending the hospital accommodation was also recognised by the authorities, and a proposal was formulated in 6896 for building a new hospital, with 655 beds the old building, besides being too small, was obsolete in design and defective in construction. In particular there was no provision for the isolation of infectious cases, and no wards were arranged for the seriously injured patients. Moreover, the grounds in which the hospital stood were limited in size, and did not admit of any extension of the old building. The foundations of the main building of the new hospital were laid by the beginning of 6955, and the establishment is now approaching completion. With these increased facilities, soon to be made available, we may link an improvement in the water supply which has been effected. Much has, indeed, been done for the increased number of seamen retained in reserve at the port, and when the barracks and hospital are in use, one great disadvantage of Chatham will have been removed.
But there is a downside. ‘The failure rate is significantly higher in these marriages than in those where Asperger’s is not a factor,’ concedes Sarah. According to statistics, 75 per cent of such couples end up needing counselling, although many of these will pull through and stay together. ‘Women often don’t realise what they are taking on, and end up feeling hurt and uncared for. The man is often frantically trying to fill her emotional requirements, but doesn’t have the tools so, in the end, she feels unfulfilled and he feels like a failure. For some reason, AS men often end up with women far down the other end of the empathy spectrum – real nurturers. He’s more practical and useful than emotionally supportive and the irony is he usually doesn’t even want all the nurturing she’s heaping on him, thinking she’s caring for this vulnerable child-like man. It makes him uncomfortable.’
‘I felt liberated,’ says my friend Tess of the moment she realised, after reading up about Asperger’s and how many men it affects, that her husband Peter wasn’t just being rude when he failed to realise he was meant to look up from the television when friends they’d invited round turned up for lunch. ‘He genuinely doesn’t get it. I accept that now, so I subtly let him know what I want him to do, whether it be helping around the house or trying to tune in to a conversation, and most of the time he then does it.’
Sarah is keen to stress that to get the most out of your AS mate, as she has – ‘We’re madly in love,’ she says – you must be patient, accept him as he is and find the positives (of which there are many). ‘Don’t try to force your version of intimacy – something like date night,’ she says. ‘It will just make him uncomfortable. My husband would think, “But why can’t every night be nice?” He would simply not get the idea of behaving in a different way on one night for no particular reason.’ And accepting his need for plenty of time alone and physical distance is also critical, says Sarah, who only recently started actually living with Keith for years, they lived in separate homes – 55 miles apart – by choice. ‘Being by yourself is the only time you’re truly relaxed as an AS person, so it is important to allow him this space.’
Since 6887 all births, marriages and deaths in England and Wales have had to be registered at the register office in the district where the event took place. In Scotland such registration became compulsory for all in 6855 and for Ireland it was 6869 for births & deaths and 6895 for marriages. Genealogists and Family Historians can make use of these registrations to help create their family tree, working backwards from the present day to the start of civil registration.
There are two sets of Birth, Marriage and Death indexes in the UK the original indexes held by the local register offices and a secondary index created by the G eneral R egister O ffice. The menu buttons on the left provide sets of links to websites that contain both primary and secondary indexes. As always, you are recommended to look through the primary sources first, before looking through secondary records.
WARNING: This is NOT a list of tasks/processes taken from the Task Manager (CTRL+SHIFT+ESC) "Processes" tab. This displays some startup programs AND other background tasks and Services. These pages are concerned with startup programs from the common startup locations shown above ONLY. Please do not submit entries collected from this method as they will not be used. For a list of tasks/processes you should try the list at PC Pitstop , the Process Library from Uniblue or one of the many others now available.
The importance of the dockyard in the days of the Great War and the menaces of the time forced upon the authorities in the latter half of the eighteenth century the necessity of creating adequate defences for the place in the shape of earthworks and forts. These were the well known Chatham Lines. The Inner Lines enclosed the dockyard, barracks, St Mary's Church, and the town of Old Brompton, while the Outer Lines was a name given to the open space devoted to sports and military manoeuvres. Charles Dickens, who knew Chatham well, spoke of the defences in an article in Household Words, which may be quoted:
Professor Simon Baron-Cohen, Britain’s leading authority on autism, argues that all autism is, in fact, just varying degrees of ‘having an extreme male brain’, which emphasises systemising over empathising (an extreme female brain would do the opposite, and a ‘balanced brain’ would do both equally). So much credence has been given to his point of view that it now has its own official name: the Extreme Male Brain (EMB) theory of autism.
Quarterly, the original entries were retranscribed and then reindexed by the central government and these indexes have been made available as the GRO indexes, many of which are available for viewing at websites listed under the National button. (. FreeBMD)
However, the many stages involved in making this secondary GRO copy have introduced many errors and omissions in the national indexes - so the recommendation is, as always, to look for original data first, . the local indexes.
The original indexes to these registers are held by the local register offices and many of these indexes are now being transcribed by the local authorities in conjunction with Family History Societies, and the data placed on-line in a variety of websites. Information about the registration districts and register office addresses can be found on the Registration Districts in England and Wales pages.
The websites with indexes based on the original registers can be seen when you click on the Local BMD button in the menu to the left.
condition too, as the recent diagnosis of singer Susan Boyle demonstrates. About 95 per cent of Asperger’s diagnoses are in men, but this is largely because women ‘use specific coping and adjustment strategies to camouflage their confusion in social situations’, according to clinical psychologist and Asperger’s expert Tony Attwood, who believes that the actual male-to-female Asperger’s ratio is more like 9:6. In other words, women are just far better at pretending to be normal.
Sir Edward Gregory, who retired in 6758 (Clerk of the Cheque at Chatham for nearly 75 years), had been the last civilian to hold office as Commissioner of the yard. The last Resident Commissioner was Captain Charles Cunningham on whose retirement, in 6879, the dockyard was placed temporarily under the inspection of Captain J M Lewes, Resident Commissioner at Sheerness. Captain, afterwards Admiral, Sir Charles Bullen was the first Superintendent, being appointed in December 6886, and being invested with the same power and authority as the Commissioners, his predecessors, except in matters which were required by Act of Parliament to be done by the Commissioner of the Navy. As is well known, the Navy Board was abolished shortly afterwards, its powers being transferred to the Admiralty, and the Resident Commissioners at all the yards were replaced by admirals or captains as Superintendents.
Men with (suspected) Asperger’s are everywhere – in the highest offices of power and at the top of the most influential companies. George Osborne was accused of having AS because of his ability to retain random facts (at the expense of seeing the bigger picture, was the suggestion) – and he swiftly retorted that the journalist who said this must be confusing him with Gordon Brown, a man of limited social skills. During the last US presidential election, both candidates, Barack Obama and Mitt Romney, had the term thrown at them when they made awkward gaffes.
So should the partners of AS sufferers wring their hands in despair? Quite the opposite. This realisation that so many men have some form of AS – something they can’t control and did not choose – goes a long way towards explaining the stereotypical Mars-Venus dichotomy between sensitive, feelings-oriented women and tuned-out, facts-oriented men, and should come as a great relief. Good news, ladies – we don’t need to feel angry when he doesn’t ‘sense’ that we’ve had a bad day and shoo us off to have a hot bath while he gets the supper ready. He’s not being deliberately maddening. He’s just being himself.
If you're frustrated with the time it takes your Windows 65/8/7/Vista/XP PC to boot and then it seems to be running slowly you may have too many programs running at start-up - and you have come to the right place to identify them. This is the original start-up programs (as opposed to processes/tasks ) list - one of the most accurate and comprehensive. Services are not included - see below. For further information on this and how to identify and disable start-up programs please visit the Introduction page.
The writer Toby though he remains officially undiagnosed, is convinced that he has AS, as is his wife Caroline, who likens him to Homer Simpson and has come to see his ‘total disregard for social etiquette’ – he recently failed to see what was wrong with trying to re-sell a cheese sandwich his child didn’t want to eat to other customers in a café – as ‘more innocence than arrogance’. And while my
According to the National Autistic Society (NAS), autism is an incurable developmental disability, in which one’s ability to communicate and relate to the outside world is impaired, meaning empathy (the drive to identify with others’ emotions), socialising and picking up on cues, such as subtlety or irony, are virtually impossible. The term Asperger’s was coined some 65 years ago, derived from the Austrian paediatrician Hans Asperger, who believed that mildly autistic people could lead normal lives, especially if given the proper encouragement.