Posted: 2017-11-14 20:42
6)I always could tell this guy liked me. I asked a guy friend to do some asking for me, and my friend said my crush reacted surprised but happy when my friend told him I liked him. My friend said I 8767 d have no trouble talking to him. Yesterday after a few weeks, I told him he 8767 s a cool guy and asked if he 8767 d like to hang out outside work sometime. He said sure, yes, pulled out his phone and I just handed him my cell number. It 8767 s been a day and he hasnt texted or called. Im very new to all this, so what should I do? Ill see him at work tomorrow and dont want it to be awkward. We 8767 ve talked a bit but I was hoping to get more in depth on a date with him.
to be honest we had the craziest time of our life and shared the most happy holidays and intimate moments. the trouble was only that i would sometimes fall prey to comparing how she was doing in her career and how i was. This did bother me and i did work hard to go leaps and bounds. Unfortunately her temper would be such a rage and i would either have my bags flying out of the house or the pictures broken in her rage. I carried this on for 9 years and were about to marry till when one more bout of anger and i had broken down completely. i couldn t live in the fear of whether she continues her repeated pattern of temper.
After reading this I 8767 ve realized that I am an abuser and guilty of doing all the above but I 8767 m not sure what kind of help I need I already see a Psychologist and therepist twice a week but I can 8767 t stop the things I do or at the least stop hitting him don 8767 t get me wrong he 8767 s a gym rat and could easily thrash me but I know he never would so I hit and kick or punch him harder and more often. We recently had a real nasty fist fight and for the first time in 9 months he did not come home and his phone is off I 8767 m praying he 8767 s safe but does it mean he 8767 s safer without me? How do I get him to come home?
I thought it was the army. HE WAS AN ARMY BRAT AND A 8 YEARS IN IRAQ. HE BUILT ME UP AT FIRST AND THEN HE WAS KNOCKING ME DOWN. WHEN WE MET I HAD A ONE YEAR OLD AND I LEFT HER DAD FOR HITTING ME AFTER SHE WAS BORN. I HAD A CHRISTIAN BACKGROUND AND FOOTING SO I FELT IT WAS IMPORTANT TO FORGIVE AND ACCEPT HIS FLAWS HOWEVER, THE HARSH REALITY OF HIM NEVER CEASING THE CYCLE WAS A BIT MUCH. THE LATEST PREDICTABLE ACTION CAUSED ME TO GAIN ENOUGH STRENGTH TO ACCEPT WHAT AND WHO HE IS AND HE IS CURRENTLY AWAITING MY REPLY ON TEXT. I AM FOCUSING ATTENTION ON MYSELF. (NOW THAT I 8767 VE PISSED IN HIS CORN FLAKES BY, JUST AGREEING WITH HIM ABOUT THE LATEST DISAPPEARANCE AND SAYING YES, IT 8767 S FOR THE BETTER HE ALMOST IMMEDIATELY RESPONDED. TO WHICH I NOW CRINGE AT THE THOUGHT OF MY OWN HIGHLY EMPATHETIC SELF RESPONDING REGUARLESS OF HOW I 8767 VE BEEN TREATED. )
Hi Tegan. seems like this guy really cares about you but he is trying to speed up the break up process. And the only thing I can advise you to do is to end it with him in good term. The fact that you want to work things out with him over the summer is antagonizing for him since your practically making it sound like you are playing with his emotions. to make it simple, he sees it this way 8775 if you cared to be with him, you would not let him be alone 8776 . I am not saying your cruel but based on what you explained, that seems to be the case with him his point of view.
Thanks for your beautiful post Dr Joseph. After reading I caught myself thinking deeply about all the horror that I 8767 ve be gone trough. It 8767 s 9 years since I broke the cage that I use to live in capture and seems that I will never find peace of mind. No matter how hard I try, my ex keeps talking trash about me to friends and my 7 sons. Since my son turned 68 years old I decided not to contact my ex ever again and seems to me that he keeps trying harder and harder with his cruel ways to get my attention. I won 8767 t give in that 8767 s for sure. He has done most of the cruel things you 8767 ve mentioned in your post and much more. He keeps trying and I keep run Will this desire of revenge ever end? Will he ever let me have a peaceful life? He marriage the other woman so why he keeps trying to bother me. I want peace and peace is all I need.
Finding my way back to me.
Handed my narssitic husband of 88 years separation papers. He has now seen his lawyer and he oromises when he is done I will have a nervous breakdown. We are still living in the same house with our oldest son. Im living in my bedroom after work. My son is downstairs. Even tough my narc has a girlfriend he thinks I derserve nothing. Everything everyone says its exactly true with mine. One son who is a phych nurse says ive been mentally abuse my whole life get out mom. Ive had enough. Want to be happy waiting for this to go through do I csn be free. My own mental breakdown this summer opened my eyes. My husband has cut off all ties to everyone who loved him. I wish his new formally abused women much luck. At least I will be free.
yes, i think that 8775 crimes of honour 8776 are exactly like male animals fighting to keep their position in the jerarchy of the herd. Social shame, the loss of honour is a matter of life or death: disonhoured families risk extintion: no one will marry them no one will do business with them etc.
And I think that patriarchal oppression of women is a mean, for males, to protect their genes: they don 8767 t want to raise the children of another father and they want to ensure their biological children 8767 s survival. I wonder if this can be called narcissism. in any case it 8767 s very animalic and very not human: being human means first of alla recognizing anybody 8767 s humanity and right to be free. Seeing women as the 8775 females of the herd 8776 to be protected and controlled, to avoid their mating with other males is a basic denial of humanity, not just the humanity of women but also the humanity of the men. I would like to consult an ethologist about the role of shame in animals: do they feel it? do they create defences against it?
Oonagh, It strikes me that the way you approached the nurse was just about right. Couldn 8767 t you try something of a similar nature with your neighbor? I understand how infuriating/painful it is to be on the receiving end of your sister 8767 s lies, but most people are trusting and simply assume that what someone else tells them is true. Your sister might not (yet) have given your neighbor any reason to believe her a liar.
I 8767 ve just moved out but he 8767 s saying he can 8767 t live without me..i dunno if i can either. i cat imagine my life without him..i can 8767 t go back to that house..he owned it and every time he had an episode i felt trapped. he displays all signs and is an alcoholic and occasionally takes drugs. im so afraid of being without him. he says he 8767 ll get better..i really wishvthat were true. he says he 8767 ll do whatever it takes and please don 8767 t break up withbut him. im so confused..i know i cat live there but could we stay together ? living on friends couch and can 8767 t see the wood from the trees
My ex Narc must think I am the 8775 Shiz-nick 8776 . He defintely took revenge on me when I filed for divorce. Took the house and started dating all while having absolutely no contact. Even during mediation I wouldnt be in the same room and in court I completely ignore him. He hates it and trys to do petty things to make me react. He even went as far as taking me off his insurance and I have stage 9 kidney failure and a slew of other ailments. Plus he drained our joint bank account. I still said nothing. Just left it to my attorney and a judge.
Thanks for the reply and I hear that. This is actually a man I never did get to meet in person, part of the disorder or so I have read that they stay away from women who can talk to them on their level and he stood me up more times than I can I really do miss him greatly, miss our talks. Is there any harm in keeping in touch with him as a friend because that is what he is/was first and foremost. Also he does admit that 8775 his head is f*****d up 8776 as he put it but he believes it is from being out at sea for 79 years and if he was telling me the truth he had 8 ex 8767 s cheat on him so major trust does seem to fit the NPD profile but is it possible that I am wrong and it is what he says?
The latest phase is going out to a dance club with me, which we rarely do, and he wants me to watch him try to get other women to dance with him. He says every woman out there looks him up and down and he thinks they want him. It 8767 s as if he 8767 s trying to prove something to me What? and if that isn 8767 t bad enough, I had some man sitting at the Bar telling me 8775 Oh just let him be, it 8767 s his ego, He doesn 8767 t want them and he goes home with you. 8776 I wanted to shake the man. It took a lot for me to hold back. I could go on with many more examples of my struggle with him, but one episode at time is all I want to discuss. Dr. Neill can you give me any feedback here?
I lived through this same scenario for 67 years. Everyone thought I was stupid keep going back even when I knew the lies, the cheating, and then I also saw the Facebook messages, yet went back time in time again. Highly successful, never needed him for anything. But I loved him. Reading this forum helps me to heal as I know now, it was never my fault and I could never do anything more right. It was all going to happen irregardless.
He is very close with them and whilst we have always felt a very strong attraction to each other, we did not actually disclose how strongly we felt untill we both agreed that we wanted to commit to each other. Their initial reaction was disaproval, but it quickly cooled. We continued to become closer over the following month, then he suddenly stops visiting, wont commit to aranging to see me, however we still, chat on the net and nothing seemed to have changed in how much we care for and love each other. Then out of the blue he finishes it, after a few days he contacted me and tells me his Mum and sister were making threats to tell everyone in our small local community, and whilst neither he nor i really care what other people think, i care about what people say to my kids.
I m 75 years older. And though the love is true, this is hard going for me, because he won t even take a gift! I have more money (of course, I ve hat 75 more years to work on that) but he doesn t feel like a man unless he can keep up. By the way I a 59. He s 79. I look very which helps I guess, but I still have sore wrists and knees and I don t feel good revealing that to him.
My ex-partner had all of these traits..
Now just getting over it..it 8767 s really hard.. Because they hurt me sooo much.
She was a kleptomaniac, narcissistic, manic-depressive, and compulsive liar
She 8767 s a horrible person, and I don 8767 t understand why she did any of this.. And can do this to someone that gave her everything.. I know now you cant fix anyone.. But it was soo hard.
I was with her for 9 years.. And finally after 9 years, the truth revealed itself.
She cheated soo many times and lied about everything..
The ex didn 8767 t look happy he looked kind of busted faded jeans, a old work shirt and boots on unlaced cigarette hanging from his mouth. Now, I don 8767 t know if that 8775 unhappy 8776 look was due to the way I looked like he might have been thinking..damn! She looks beautiful and I lost that or I don 8767 t even know if he really *saw* me, as in the way I looked, like maybe he noticed those passion marks and now he know I 8767 m no longer sitting around crying like he *thought* I might be, still brokenhearted. I 8767 m not sure he actually paid attention to what I looked like, but one thing is for sure, I didn 8767 t look like that all the time when we were together. At this point, my no contact on him was 86 days.
So we still fight because I can 8767 t trust him. I try to talk to him about where it stems from and he pretends to understand, but he is cold about what he has put me through. He apologizes, but it is not heartfelt. He is still very cold in general. Still can not stand to be wrong, He gets rageful and tries to revert everything back to me as if it is my fault. Says hurtful things that make me feel unloved, but doesn 8767 t understand how I would feel that way. He seems so heartless. I am always questioning if he really loves me or not. He is sexually aggressive. Not in a violent way, but in a persistent way. For example when I was sick, laid up on the couch, he kept trying to pursue me. And when I didn 8767 t respond he became angry.
Hi Amanda. What a mess. I think this effort to exploit children for revenge is particularly female. (I hadn 8767 t thought of it at this moment, but I 8767 m reminded of Medea in the Greek tragedy who murders her own children as an act of revenge when her husband leaves her.) The ex-wife 8767 s level of shame must be quite unbearable, and she 8767 s in full defensive mode. It 8767 s so ruthless, completely lacking in any genuine material concern. I wish I had some useful suggestions. I think the only course of action is for your husband to be patient, make himself available and try to stay in contact with his daughters in whatever way is possible. The girls will hopefully wake up at some point and recognize that he has always been there.