Posted: 2017-11-14 19:44
I am seriously considering switching to hospice care. She has no bounderies and does not respect mine. For example, I stated that I am uncomfortable with kissing on the cheeks, hugging , holding hands and such. However I do shake hands. She will try to hug me every time I see her, or touch my clothes, hair , to touch my papers. I 8767 d say 8775 please don 8767 t 8775 , she 8766 d say 8776 but I want to see what it is 8776 or 8776 they are just papers 8776 . Yes papers that are on my lap. That make my blood boil.
I 8767 m sorry Sophie but you are incorrect. Borderline Personality Disorder is a Narcissistic Malady. In the DSM-IV it is listed in the Axis II Cluster-B pantheon of Narcissistic Disorders. 8775 Self-Loathing 8776 is a symptom of the disorder NOT the disorder itself. I recommend you read the books, 8775 Borderline Personality Disorder for Dummies 8776 and 8775 The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook 8776 . There is a lot of information you might find interesting and informative.
Do I really have no recourse? From what I read, he can literally just chose to not pay , and get away with it because he is self employed and living abroad. He 8767 s actually an independent contractor and I know the vendors he represents and where the income comes from. Is there no way to attach his commission payments? Please someone give me hope. If it helps, my divorce decree is from Pennsylvania, and so I 8767 m dealing with PA family law.
We ended up settling in a court-ordered settlement conference which should never have happened. I had a motion pending to make my husband complete his financial disclosure (he was hiding income, accounts, loans…) and the law is crystal clear you can’t settle without that. The conference was right after a hearing about this motion, and I was a sobbing emotional wreck — and unrepresented (“pro per”). The judge had been bullying and berating me at every court hearing, and the attorney who supervised the settlement conference lied to me about what I might obtain at trial, refused to transmit many of my counter-proposals, threatened to quit if I didn’t accept their terms, and kept saying we had to finish right away, or the judge (who she knew terrified me) would take over.
Thank you for your reply. It has gotten worse and she acts as if me not being in her life would make her happy. I believe she already has picked her next victim. She vacillates so quickly form love to rage. She makes agreements then pulls them away within hours. I am devistated by all this. I truly love her. I am not in the house currently. I want to go back but I know what will happen. I don 8767 t know if it is the lack of logic in this or if I am hopelessly codependent. She uses her phd as a shield and weapon to try to prove her points with me. It has left me devistated with a feeling worthlessness. I did everything I could to make her happy, put out all of her self ignited fires and delt with all daily crises. My therapist says I am not crazy eventhough I have been made to feel that way by a person with a disorder and a phd. Intellectually, I understand that she is sick and suffering but at the moment I can 8767 t seem to get out of the emotional wake and roller coaster. Thanks again. I need to learn some how that I am not a fixer and everything can 8767 t be fixed with love, support and compassion.
Oh My!.. Dump your girlfriend and get away from the maried couple. Your girlfriend is no dummy and she knows what 8767 s right from wrong take some time for your self and get to know and love yourself keep this in mind: don 8767 t give her any explanation. Just leave it as I don 8767 t trust you. she will acts dumm or confused, she is just playing stupid and is wanting to leave you or sleep with someone else with a naivete excuse. If she has a conscies, herguilt will be powerfull enough to find the why you left her without explaining hard to digist but I know you have a strong gut feeling that knows the trutth just written above good luck
Ashley, I 8767 m so delighted for you! I don 8767 t think I knew about being an INFJ until my late 95s or early 55s. I can finally enjoy and embrace myself fully, as well as watch out for things that suck the life out of me. This article recognizing even the stress of shopping. I 8767 d go shopping with my husband and he 8767 d throw a few more stops in once we were out suddenly I 8767 d be like, 8775 I 8767 m done, we need to stop NOW and I need to go HOME 8776 . Neither of us would understand what the heck, but now learning about being an INFJ, it makes sense. Have a beautiful and lovely life being exactly who you are. 8
These days, I think that most of us need reassurance, and I 8767 ve come more and more to question the 8775 blank screen 8776 approach to psychotherapy that I 8767 ve practiced for so many years. I think it 8767 s crucial to see in the Other 8767 s face that he or she cares, that we matter. I understand what your therapist is getting at, about your needing to know what YOU want, but I think it 8767 s also helpful that he, as the professional, indicates his view of the matter that you need to come to therapy because it 8767 s objectively good for you (and not a question of what you do or do not want).
Ie that restricts meaning making experiences of existence that are so densely knotted and twisted, or whatever~ that knot of loosened enough ~ not knowing who I am or what I feel when I wake up every day~ trying to describe it led to memories of sense~ of being left in a cot for hours ~ nothing but walls and ceiling to look at. Anyway ~ it 8767 s still raw, difficult but I was able to start speaking about it and I am grateful, so grateful that its possible to heal after never being able to imagine that healing is possible. Telling my analyst everything, holding nothing back that I feel and think is absolutely healing me.
Your site gives me encouragement, reminds me what the process requires and reminds me to listen- when i am in conflict- to the part of me that knows my analyst trustworthy and I need to engage my trust in him. Thanks again.
About 9 months ago, in the mental hospital as usual, I was FINALLY diagnosed and found out my severe DIFFERENTNESS wasn 8767 t because I was a rotten person after all! Not only was I born with a neurodevelopmental disorder (a SEVERE one) but I was also born with small portions of my brain actually MISSING. Those portions are what normal people use to perform Executive Functioning. Inhibition. Decision making. Anger and emotional control/stability. Organization and impulse control! And then I realized something else, something that I 8767 ve always ignored, or let anger obscure it from the rest of the world. I can barely COUNT! I can 8767 t accurately or consistently tell my right from my left. I get lost and when taking public transportation, almost always take the wrong bus, wrong direction, wrong time, get off the wrong stop
The shaming of those with BPD in both the article and in the comments ( 8775 the Thankyouforprovingmypoint crowd 8776 ) is appalling. It seems obvious to me that such words are meant to intentionally bait people. Nobody likes to be taunted or be patronized or face condescending know-it-alls. I don 8767 t have BPD or even know of any, but it seems like if you know they react negatively out of these fears, that if you care about them, why make it harder for them by causing more fear and anger? Compassion, people, please.
The client with borderline personality disorder symptoms may also become hostile right at the outset, since intolerable anger and hatred are often core issues. One such client came for an early session and when I said something that felt to her like a narcissistic injury, she began to scream and continued to scream at me for the rest of the hour. She left a very polite phone message the following day, informing me that she had decided to seek treatment elsewhere. I didn 8767 t understand shame at that point in my career and couldn 8767 t reach out to her she no doubt felt so ashamed after losing her mind with rage in session that she had to terminate in order to escape that shame. With other clients, I 8767 ve been able to bear with their hostility, make them feel I could tolerate such violence this often came as a huge relief and felt to them as if it was exactly what they needed. I 8767 m good at tolerating anger and hatred.
Hi Erin..I too have 5 children and am self diagnosed. I married a care taker who I love and hate and I am pushing my kids away. As they get older and independent, I am angry that they are not following every path I had laid out in my mind. I push them away and then feel relieved and sad at the same time. I am a professional in a community where most people come to me for therapy and I honestly feel I help so many people but I hide alone and pretend I am fine which only isolates myself more. I may consider getting a therapist online as I have no therapists in the area that I feel has the expertise in this area..Good luck to you
You are right the court system is broken. I have been going through this divorce for almost 8 years now. He locked me out of our business, purchased a vehicle during the divorce, tried purchasing a home his credit was bad. Sold marital property without my consent used my credit. After home was granted to me he came here and took one of our vehicles wrecked it in the process of removing it from the premises and no one would do anything about it and yet all these lawyers want is more money there is no justice. I have proven beyond a reasonable doubt he has lied straight to the judge 8767 s face yet nothing is being done. The judge just giving him more time to sell anything he can by the time we get into the courtroom there won 8767 t be anything left. He is sold all assets and kept the money how can this be there needs to be a change in this court system for these narcissistic ex-spouses and these judges that let them get away with it. Feeling overwhelmed in New York
I can go on and on of the stuff she has done in the past. What I 8767 m concerned about is why she is deteriorating, is this a sign of something more. My Wife ( her mother) and I are ready to do what is needed. The waiting and praying time is expiring. The cops know her well from every cycle. The courts know her well now. The ER knows her to well they help her miss work and keep her job with the injuries and sickness that happen over night. + with every cycle that goes by it seems to get worse and worse.
I was once responsible for the financial/administrative aspects of a newly established psychiatric research unit in the UK, where the head of research, a psychiatrist, shared with colleagues (but not with me) that he felt I had BPD.
Reading your article I certainly recognise an overwhelming sense of abandonment that plagued me for years, until I decided to warn friends that if I started to cry as we parted after a visit, to understand that it was just old pain that I was in the process of healing. What a liberation!
I still have residual pangs of sadness, but it lasts for a few seconds, then I 8767 m able to go about my day. Pre-liberation I would feel totally lost for anything up to a week!
She knows my entire history with this man and knows that I have been just complying with what ever it is he wants because I don 8767 t want to be homeless, he owes me spousal support, 75 % profit from the business we built together and I am getting nothing !!!! we used one attorney to draw up the papers after 75 years, I believe his attorney is bias, he has done work for me but also represents him and advises him behind my back, I am sure.
As for Jodi Arias I never read she had BPD, but it 8767 s the first thing I thought of. You do realize Travis was nothing like he was portrayed in court or the news and it 8767 s been said he had NPD *Narcissistic* and I can see that. Further, most BPD 8767 s are strongly attracted to those whom abused them as children NPD 8767 s. So if you are on here discussing the untreated BPD female psycho who done ya wrong there 8767 s a STRONG chance you at the very least have traits of Narcissistic PD. Again, take a look at yourself because it takes two.
And one last thing, I can be so convicted and form my thoughts for days before I come and argue them to my mom I 8767 ve tried baiting traps, so to speak, to test her But every time I confront her, I suddenly cannot think. My mental barriers crumble against her and no matter how I felt before, I end up broken. If anyone can make sense of this I 8767 d be extremely appreciative.
His pension and SS is over $5, a month.
Is requesting $6, a month reasonable?
I could live on that amount as rent alone, anywhere is $-$6,.
There is no way I could buy food or maintain my 68 year old Subaru without some financial help.
Can I bring up this NPD without any therapist having this in writing?
Or, do I just make them know he is abusive, intimidates with large objects, and he hoped when I conceived I would miscarry?