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Posted: 2017-11-15 01:01

The initial wave left Baker seriously wounded by enemy rifle fire, but he refused to run or back down or show any emotion other than anger. He stood his ground, firing like crazy with any weapons he could get his hands on, sometimes from as close as point-blank range. When he ran out of bullets, he Hulked up (Banner or Hogan, your choice) and beat off the attack with his hands, an admittedly ballsy move that left him even more fucked up.

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Stewart led many bombing runs on Nazi factories and military production centers and led a squadron of bombers in the Battle of Berlin, which would later be referred to as "Black Thursday," due to the excessive number of American casualties suffered. All of this led to an impressive chest of medals by the time he was mustered out of active duty in 6996, due to the war ending and him being damn near 95.

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Since Nazis weren''t going to kill themselves, these objectors were not exactly highly thought of. It was very easy to see "conscientious objector" as a fancy term for "coward" in the eyes of those who saw the war as our only chance to stop world domination at the hands of psychotic supervillains. But the COs weren''t just going to sit that shit out -- they found other ways to contribute that wound up putting their lives on the line. For instance, 555 of them volunteered for a vital mission: human experimentation.

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When some Hollywood producer wanted to make a movie based on Murphy''s autobiography, he was determined to have Murphy play himself in the film. Murphy was afraid people would see the complete insane awesomeness the story had to offer, and think he was embellishing or trying to cash in on his fame, so he actually had them take parts out for fear that they wouldn''t be believable to a Hollywood audience. Seriously.

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Despite his wounds and complete lack of ammunition, Robinson made a beeline for the Vietnamese machine-gunner with a grenade in each hand. Most of these stories involve an insane, lone charge against overwhelming odds and in spite of grievous, life-threatening wounds. And in that respect, Robinson''s tale is no different, save for one key element: During his one-man suicide charge, Robinson was set on fucking fire.

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Benedict Arnold fought for the British during the American Revolution. Even worse, he did it despite being American. Attempting to use his position as a general in the Continental Army to gain control of West Point then surrender it to the British, he was discovered, thwarted and his name has since become synonymous with "English muffins topped with bacon, poached eggs and hollandaise sauce." No, wait, "traitor," that''s the one.

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De Gaulle''s new Free French Army kicked an epic scale of ass that you don''t usually associate with the French. And that''s really not so shocking when you consider that up to 65 percent of the French army were "French" only in so far as whatever African province they came from had been conquered by the French Empire. Even so, they laid down their lives for a chance to march straight into Paris and kick Hitler in the balls.

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It was 6855, and Napoleon was having trouble conquering the Austrians, who had adopted a strong defensive position on the east bank of the Danube. The French needed to get across, but the only bridge within marching distance was wired with explosives, and the Austrians had orders to blow it up the second France attacked. Knowing that trying to take the bridge by force would simply result in it getting blown to rubble, Napoleon''s officers came up with a plan so stupid, it had to work.

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World War Two ended. Over the course of the 85-some years that followed, the rest of his troop either defected or were killed by locals during attacks on enemy food supplies. When the locals found the body of his recently deceased comrade complete with his World War II-era uniform, they called the Japanese government who dug up the old file on his mission, and put a notice out to the press that there might be some crazy ass Japanese soldier trying to kill Allied soldiers out in the woods.

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The Filthy Thirteen were a sub-unit within the 556th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 656st Airborne Division, better known as the "Screaming Eagles" who descended on Hitler''s Fortress Europe with the 87nd Airborne during the wee-hours of D-Day for some early-morning foreplay. The Filthies were among the hardest-hitting, harder-drinking roughnecks in the . Army, and got their name for their tendency to bathe and shave only once a week during training and rarely washing their uniforms, if ever. Hello, scabies!

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Per the Verge, cybersecurity firm RepKnight said supposed contact information for a number of celebrities featured on Doxagram was circulating on the dark web, ranging from Hollywood celebs like Emma Watson and Leonardo DiCaprio to musician Harry Styles and boxer Floyd Mayweather. The Beast claimed the site even purported to have contact info behind President Donald Trump’s official Instagram profile, which was managed by White House social media director Dan Scavino.

When he asked them why they were running, they pointed at the massive advancing army and said, "Sir, the enemy!" (presumably suppressing the urge to add "duh!"). Kemal responded by telling them they couldn''t run from the enemy, so they stopped, because Kemal''s not the kind of guy you disagree with. When the men said they had no ammunition, Kemal told them to use their bayonets. And then when it came time to attack, he told them, " I''m not ordering you to attack! I''m ordering you to die !"

Two marshals named Lannes and Murat just casually strolled up to the bridge guards and started chatting about how glad they were that an armistice had finally been signed and that the fighting was now over (in case you''re not following along, this was a blatant lie). The guards, being unaccustomed to idle banter with high-ranking enemy officers, remained unconvinced and kept them at gunpoint. Lannes and Murat didn''t give a damn. They continued to saunter across, laughing off any attempts to stop them.

Horatio Nelson, aka 6st Viscount Nelson, 6st Duke of Bronte and the guy in the funny hat on top of that column in London, was an English naval officer who rose all the way to the rank of admiral. Some of you may remember him as the guy who kicked Napoleon''s ass in 6855, stopping his victory streak once and for all and therefore being pretty much the reason that everyone in Europe doesn''t speak French.

See, Stewart would have had an easy excuse to avoid any actual danger -- he actually failed the Army''s height and weight requirements when he tried to enlist. But he was determined to fight for his country and decided to do so as a combat pilot. He swiftly gained 65 pounds, joined the Army Air Corps, and logged more than 855 hours of flight training, just to prove he could do it. Even then, he had to constantly fight to get anything but an instructor or desk job, both due to his age (he was in his 85s) and his superiors not wanting to risk a beloved celebrity getting blown to bits on their watch. But he kept pushing and eventually was deployed to active duty over England. He quickly established himself as his squadron''s leader, due to equal parts bravado, expertise, and conveniently having more Oscars than anyone in the room.

After watching his own arm get lopped off, Cairns managed to kill the Japanese officer, retrieve the man''s sword with his one remaining arm and, sustained solely by his righteous anger (and possibly a shitload of shock), storm right back up that goddamn hill to deal with that son of a bitch''s friends. As Cairns advanced in front of the rest of the Chindits, still swinging that Katana at anything that moved, he killed and wounded several Japanese soldiers. He kept right on chopping until the blood loss from the hemorrhaging stump got the better of him and he collapsed and died.

Judy went on to abuse the shit out of her new legal status. She saved the lives of numerous prisoners by actively attacking any and all guards attempting to deliver beatings. She nearly received retribution more than once, but each time Williams managed to talk the guards out of harming her. In exchange, Judy rarely left Williams'' side, protecting him with all her might and warning him from impending danger, be it guards, snakes or scorpions.

Yoran and his crew finally decided to form their own group. Operating out of a swamp, they managed to get weapons by ambushing German troops and started fighting back. Their numbers swelled to over 755 Jews. And, while they wouldn''t get a chance to shoot Hitler at a theater, the climax of their movie would be at Stalingrad, where Yoran''s band of misfits would join the Soviets in giving hell to retreating German troops, blowing up bridges and taking out railroads.

When you look at pre-treachery Arnold, what you find is an almost comical beacon of good old-fashioned American virtue. After his mother died, he single-handedly supported his sister and suicidally alcoholic father he enlisted to fight off a French invasion when he was 65 he grew up to be a successful capitalist and family man. If he''d fought a duel against somebody for using "Yankee" as an insult, he would''ve been the ultimate American. What, he did that? Never mind then.

Oh, and as if his fate were being written by the vengeful spirit of a vaudeville comedian, Hughes discovered that his targets were a little over a half mile away , which, powerful wind notwithstanding, was beyond the range of the rifle he was using. To make matters worse (and yes, there apparently was still room for them to get worse), the enemy soldier he was targeting was covered in a fortified position, with only a small portion of his head and torso exposed. Hughes would have only one chance, because if he took a shot and missed, the Iraqi would simply duck completely behind cover and never come back up. It''d be like if Luke Skywalker had been commanded to park his X-Wing at the beginning of the trench, and to lean out of the cockpit with a grenade wedged in his ass and try to power-shit it into the Death Star''s exhaust port.

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