Posted: 2017-10-13 03:36
The term ‘leftover women’ ( 8766 shengnu’ 剩女) has been a popular term in China’s (social) media for years. It refers to twenty-something, single, well-educated urban women who have difficulties in finding a partner that can live up to their expectations. Their disadvantage in finding a partner relates to existing ideas in Chinese culture about the “ideal” marriage age of women. The pressure to get married has even created an online market where women can 8766 rent-a-boyfriend 8767 for the holidays.
Keoni, there 8767 s a big difference between talking of 8775 ratio/proportion 8776 or phrasing it 8775 rarely/not at all 8776 . If you want to explore and start a discussion on why you SEE more foreign men with Chinese women than foreign women with Chinese men, then you have to approach the topic from a different, more astute and even more systematic angle the latter including a much broader survey group than what Sanlitun or Shuangjing, Beijing, offer 😉 It 8767 s a good topic, and it would be great to actually get some well-founded leads to answers, but the way it 8767 s presented here and the choice to present it as such on this cultural platform of which one would expect more is very unfortunate.
Ouch. I 8767 m not sure if this blog post was supposed to be satirical or tongue-in-cheek, but it 8767 s not only offensive, it provides no research or evidentiary support to bolster any of its stereotype-driven claims beyond anecdotal observation. Frankly, I 8767 m surprised to hear that the author has lived in China I have, too in Chengdu for two years, to be specific and I disagree with many of the stereotypes the author has invoked. They seem the sort of generalizations that a new expat to China might make, certainly, but as one experiences the culture and gets to know the people there, those generalizations should have given way to more nuanced analysis and informed observations. I 8767 m disappointed to see that wasn 8767 t the case here.
One acquaintance told me in wonderment that Chinese women are great in the bedroom x7568 as if I wasn't one x7568 to being casually asked if I x7569 d be interested in a guy x756c who has been with Chinese girls and likes it x756d . I x7569 ve been left puzzled by the insensitivity, and the lack of awareness that such comments may cause offence. It x7569 s as if the Chinese are so foreign it doesn't count.
Other people also point out that it is not the mom who is selfish: 8775 If a woman becomes a mother, it doesn 8767 t mean she has to give up on everything. There are 8 days in the National Holiday why can 8767 t she leave for 7 days? Can 8767 t she have a break from working hard all year round? It 8767 s not only her children, what 8767 s wrong with the mother-in-law looking after them? They are the ones who are selfish and take her for a free labor force. 8776
So here's where the conversation gets a little uncomfortable. Whenever expats discuss racism in China, we usually focus on Chinese people and their racist attitudes (such as the experience of being black in China). These are very critical discussions that we need and should continue to have. But what about the conversations about expats themselves and their own homegrown stereotypes and prejudices about Asians and Chinese people? When will we as expats begin to confront these, our very own baggage that we inadvertently pack along with us in our overseas journeys to the Middle Kingdom?
Very interesting. I don t date women lol. But this was a very interesting read. & most of the stories are prob city girls.. Not all Japanese women are so open like that. I still have like a good half of my Family still living in Japan today. The rest of my family I have living in the States. My relatives usually settled down with a Japanese American Men or Women. I think mostly because it s easier and tradition. I married outside of my race & so did my Father. And I m happy to be mixed Japanese American.
OMG! My late Chinese husband was the exact opposite of every one of those points. He wasn 8767 t in the least shy. Spoiled? Are you kidding? Not at all. Racially insecure? He was so proud of being Chinese. Traditional? Although he was raised in China and I 8767 m a white American, our ideas about public displays of affection were about the same. And his English was great a slight foreign accent, that was all.
Wow! What an article! It is quite interesting to see the stereoptypes being perpetuated out there. I do not know whether I should view them with laughter or with much umbrage. As a Chinese-American man, I know that the Westerners from mainly English-speaking countries such as ., Canada, Britain, etc. hold these stereotypes, but I am not certain if Westerners from other Western but non-English speaking countries share join in them. One has to wonder whether the author is Engish or American?
As I said in Facebook, what a lame post (can 8767 t even call this an article).
Maybe you should ask someone who has been married or dated a Chinese man.
You should also double check the original sources of the pictures, if you take a picture that is from Jocelyn (Speaking of China), you better take it from her site and link it to that blog and not to another blog that talks about her story.
I bet that was all the research you did, typed 7 words in Google and took a couple of pics from the same blog and then put together an amount of stereotypes.
Good thing is that you can now see the reaction of others who have published other articles linked to yours in response to your poor piece.
You got plenty of comments, but not because this is well-writen.
Now, while all the authors and scholars quoted above allude to the &lsquo animal instinct&rsquo of bad Western wolves and innocent Asian sheep, I cannot quite get myself to agree with these &lsquo chronicles of victimization&rsquo of Asia that only play further into the hands of Western dominance. On the contrary, I do believe that in our modern world, civility will prevail over barbarism. Or, as one of China&rsquo s major entertainers, Jackie Chan, alias Cheng Long [成龙], once said , &ldquo We urge more foreigners to marry Chinese women!&rdquo
The stereotyping plays itself out in the roles you see Chinese women playing in theatre, on TV or in films. Take the 75th anniversary revival of Miss Saigon in the West End. The tale of the tragic love story between a Vietnamese woman and an American soldier paints a heartbroken and helpless image of Miss Saigon that remains one of the most poignant and visible depictions of Far Eastern women in popular culture.
Back in 7565, I discovered a post on a now-defunct blog authored by expats in Shanghai. The post was written by a white American woman based in Shanghai and titled, "So, how's the dating scene?" The photo leading off the post was a still from the 6985s American movie Sixteen Candles featuring Long Duk Dong, considered one of Hollywood's most offensive Asian male stereotypes. In the still, he's locked in an awkward slow-dance embrace with a girl an entire head taller than him, but that's not even the worst of it. While she leans her head on his in perfect contentment, he has his cheek buried in her bosom while staring at it with a prurient curiosity that surely would have snapped the girl out of her reverie.
Seriously, i looking for an american girl, want to date with her. But, that is very difficult. Cause I can 8767 t travel to usa, also i have my job.
Seems, there are doesn 8767 t have too much way allowing me get a contact in China. Even I tried to dating at internet, but doesn 8767 t have any response yet. Something like Tinder, etc.
Anyone can give some hints?
I had a fling with a chinese guy once it was the best inbetween sheets action I ever had. Guys do not judge a man by the size of their belongings because they know how to compensate for it. I have dated guys with large peckers and they think that is enough to guarantee pleasure..hmmmph boys you have a lot to learn. The language thing was a problem though and he insisted I learn Mandarin but it is difficult. Anyway it didn 8767 t really work out but there are some great memorires from that encounter, I am spoilt now. I would rather do chopsticks than spatulas.
Jenny have you actually been to China? There is no city, town, village or hamlet where there are hordes of western women are dating Chinese men. It is a rare sight indeed as opposed Chinese Women walking hand in hand with Western men wherever Western men are allowed to roam. However, in the past few years there appears to be slow but steady reversal in the trend. There is scant data on the subject, but according to the Shanghai Marriage Center http:///program/cultureexpress/75695776/
55% of marriages to foreigners were Chinese women to foreign men as opposed to % of Chinese men to foreign women. Though the gap has narrowed compared to years past, I would call this disproportionate or more than a 7:6 ratio. My question about their numbers is, what about the remaining %, were they same sex marriages for foreigners? I suspect it was really % were Shanghai women marrying foreigners, but it didn 8767 t fit with the theme of their article, so they flubbed the percentages a bit.
So, there are many reasons why Western women don 8767 t marry Chinese men, but it is not an impossible dream there are plenty of cases where a marriage between a Western woman and Chinese man are hugely successful. We even wrote a recent blog on the subject of Sino-Western couples. Still, for those men that are really desperate, they can always buy a bride from Vietnam , and failing that, well, I guess they will just be resigned to their fate as leftover men.
I was both angered and saddened by your article. Angry that so many people are still encouraging age-old stereotypes that 8775 Chinese guys can 8767 t speak English well 8776 or that 8776 Chinese men are shy 8776 (both of which I 8767 ve found to be nonsense) and sad that the author genuinely seems to believe that she is reporting the truth -even if that form of 8766 reporting 8767 is just mindlessly copying reports from China Daily.
Jenny, the data in the US is a bit better as the census tries to keep track of such things. Of all Chinese immigrants in the US, % of Chinese men marry white women as opposed to % of Chinese women marrying white men according to Asian- http://-/. That 8767 s disproportionate and nearly a ratio of 8 to 6. As expected, all Asian groups represented on the chart marry white in increasing percentages as they become assimilated in subsequent generations. Racism is alive and well! The implication of these numbers, this article, and most of the comments is that to marry white is the ultimate goal and Chinese men are being unfairly left out of the white gravy train. But, why is no one commending Chinese men for staying in their race because they are proud of their own culture and simply don 8767 t want to marry other ethic groups? This would be hard to measure, but is a factor that should be considered.
No, this post is spot on. Chinese men are traditionally 8766 betafied 8767 by upbringing. it has nothing to do with their physical attractiveness, but everything to do with culture. once a chinese guy is willing to reprogram himself, and start behaving more mascular, sky is the limit. right now, most chinese men tend to be timid and lack self confidence. there is some truth in that they have a self imposed inferiorty complex because compared to other races, chinese men tend to be smaller in posture. that is why they focus on wealth, because chinese men measure their self worth in amount of money he has. only THEN he is willing to go out and meet woman. and there is a general false believe among chinese men that white women are unattainable, demands lots of money and maintaince and this self imposed fear prevent them to go after white women.