Posted: 2017-10-23 06:17
You know why men on dating sites are like that? Because after weeks or months of sending deeply thought out, interesting messages to women with shared interests and trying to talk about those interests, only to get completely ignored or get a one line reply and then nothing, most of us realized there''s just no point in wasting time. In fact, I found this article by googling "why do women never want to talk about common interests on dating sites", trying to figure out why this is the case. From all my experience it seems clear to me that all women want are cheap thrills from a hot "bad guy" - nice, interesting guys with common interests don''t tickle their libido so we get ignored.
We carefully “peruse” the onslaught of “opportunities” (. responses and messages) we receive because WE HAVE TO. Not because we a rude, stuck-up b*tches atop our thrones. Meanwhile, you guys are doing the ole, what is it? Oh yeah – “numbers game.” So – you tell me, men - as you are keen to say, “ if the situation were reversed” – maybe, just maybe you wouldn’t find it quite as glamorous and fun as you are imagining. We women are wading through a sea of what contains everything from – (best case scenario), truly good guys who perhaps don’t articulate themselves as a match on paper - all the way to a plethora of ( worst case scenario) - psychopaths, married men, rapists, pedophiles and just plain old weirdos, etc.
There are 657 million singles in the US over the age of 68. In the world of online dating, where up to 95 million singles search for love every day, first impressions are everything. Your online photos and profile are your personal advertisement in cyberspace they need to be amazing. Simply put - you need to have a fun, positive profile and great photos to attract the attention of high quality people.
Thank you so much Mirror for your thoughts about the 78 year old guy. You always give me this feeling like the calm eye in a storm.
I was feeling all over the place - lots of emotions. Thankfully not of the I miss him so much and need to reach out kind, but of the WTF this guy seems so nice and awesome, but why do I feel pressured and stressed out like I m being cornered?
I see it for what it is - and he is likely pushing too fast and acting improperly due to his age and wanting to hook up (perhaps it works on girls who are spontaneous).
I ve decided to lay back and see if he ll re-read what he wrote and hopefully come to the conclusion that he scared me away. But no expectations, guys like him will probably take him many more years to learn if it ever happens, LOL.
When giving presentations in these circumstances, avoid giving a hard-selling pitch, unless you are sure that such a style is appropriate. Usually it is not. Aim to inform and educate rather than to sell. In many networking situations a strong selling presentation is regarded as insulting by those present. This is especially so if you are a guest of a group that you would not normally meet regularly.
So, when men become rude and insulting it s the fault of the women? How dare they not respond to all messages (which as all posters have stated are much higher in number than messages males receive). Every woman is required by law to respond to every man who posts to her, whether that be sexist, whether it be a one word sentence, and never say anything rude (The definition of rude online including not responding, responding and politely refusing the offer, responding late, responding..pretty much any response which isn t Do me now! Can earn women a tirade of abuse online).
I can t tell you how many times I have read a guy s profile and literally cringed at how it was written. It doesn t matter how good looking you may think you are, what you say and how you say it has a lot to do with how you are perceived. What you didn t mention, at least in this article, are the types of pictures that should and shouldn t be posted. Maybe it s just me, but I can t stand shirtless mirror shots. Is that all you ve got to offer? If you re just looking for a hookup, I guess it s perfect. Even worse, the shots of a guy taking his own picture in the mirror with his camera or phone, like he s so insecure he can t admit to anyone he needs help getting a good picture of himself. I am not a 65 by any stretch, but I think photos I ve posted say a lot about my personality, interests, and sense of humor, and that is what the guys I m looking for really care about anyway.
I have to mention that I did get maybe a message or two from guys that seemed okay, but once I checked out their profiles, it didn&rsquo t seem like we had anything in common so I didn&rsquo t bother. That&rsquo s one of the issues I see with online dating though. Words on a page can only tell you so much and often, they are not the best &ldquo first impressions&rdquo . Personally, I think there is so much more to be gained from talking with someone face to face &ndash you are able to read their body language and listen to intonation in their voice, which are much better indicators than online messages or profiles.
VERY FEW PEOPLE look years than their actual age. Almost everyone looks their age and this is a beautiful thing. If you are 55, what is wrong with looking 55? I have yet to meet a woman who is 95 or 55 and looks like a 85 year old. That would be weird anyway. I luv and have luved every one of my ages. Some days I may look a bit than I am and some days I may look and feel like I m 685. LOL! 🙂
We could term this "hypergamy" as some commentators do.. which makes the females sound quite like lab rats and gives the (male) commentator a horrendous, vile, disembodied ocularity, but that''s not my deal at all. I know that females are smart, informed, and selective, and have strong capacity - in most places, thankfully - to exercise choice about mating habits. Females also possess very strong sex drives and know how to get what they need and want, whether it coincides with the NiceGuy/bf/hubby or - often - not.
well there is some obvious variability to this of course.. but it s also the reason that 655% of my girlfriends have started out as friends or more specifically, women/girls who I spent a LOT of time hanging out around. It eliminated the problematic part of dating for me. If we went out as friends, I didn t mind occasionally paying for them because I would do the same for any of my friends. I guess my point is that I m still getting something out of the deal, I m getting to spend time with a friend.* The issue I have with dating is that I m expected to do 655% of the work, and foot 655% of the bill. I realize that this is not always the case, but at least in my part of the world it is still very much expected. So paying to take 6 woman out on 6 date will cost around 655$ by the time you factor in gas, food, activities, etc. Free dates are great, but require you to live someplace where there is actually stuff to do for free.
We should have taken it much slower. We had good times but i guess I wonder what "could have been". She was 89 and never married and I was on the rebound from my first marriage. One really never knows. I Guess I just have to look at the positive sides though now I''m older and very lonely.
It is tough to see what might have been. Overall though I made decisions the best I could with the knowledge and information I had at the time.
Interesting idea, but not my experience. I get my fair share of messages.. on average, 5 a day. I''m pretty good looking by most standards, though I''m fully aware I''m not the most attractive, and I often find messages from men who are far less physically attractive than the men I''ve dated IRL (some of whom I''ve met online!) Of all the men, most find my profile interesting and say so, even if there''s a blatantly obvious comment (about interests, what we''re seeking, or looks) that should make it obvious that we aren''t compatible. It''s like they ignore it and try, anyway.
It was actually really interesting. The study showed men consistently rated themselves too highly, went after women right out of their league, got knocked back. Women consistently rated themselves as less attractive than they are, went after men well within their league, fewer knock backs. However, the more attractive men did not mis-rate themselves and did not have this problem. Average men consistently tried to latch onto women they had no realistic chance with.
Online dating is ridiculous for men. My day starts with rejection and ends with rejection. Women are too worried about a mans exterior appearance that it blinds them to everything else. I''ve been doing online dating for a few years now and have met some women, but most of the messages I receive are from women I''m not physically attracted to. After talking with buddies women seem to ignore every man, so who are they talking to? Online dating isn''t just harder for men, it''s much harder. It''s men doing the vast majority of work and women sitting there filtering thru and rejecting all the nice guys that she complains about not existing.
I 8767 ve had a great experience with online dating. Most of the men I 8767 ve gone out with are attractive, employed, intelligent and pleasant. Never met anyone who had obviously misrepresented themselves. No one tried to jump down my pants on the first date. I didn 8767 t feel that any less than ideal behavior on any of my dates 8767 part was beyond what I would encounter if I was on a date with someone I knew from real life ( and I date many men from real life too). I write to many men online first to get higher quality dates. Sure, sometimes you get annoying messages, but I just laugh it off as part of the game.
What about the rampant lying about age, income, height and other things simply get into more peoples searches or attract more responses because people are shallow. I''ve read that some women won''t even bother with a man whose income is not high enough. LOL! So men lie about it try and get a shot and then it of course tanks. Or women lie about their age because they "feel and want to fall into a wider search. And then the man finds out.
This experience is best exemplified by my close friend who I will call Eric. Eric has been using a couple of online dating websites off and on for the past year, with very little success. He spends time every day carefully browsing through profiles and looking for women who he feels share his same interests &ndash beyond the dating site&rsquo s algorithm which promises to perform its own magic in matchmaking. Despite his efforts, few girls ever answer his carefully crafted, very kind messages.
I know I am not the only guy to have a girl turn me down with hurtful comments after leading you on and thinking you should have just realized she was not interested and gave up. Thing is you couldn''t "take a hint", but we are adults here and those are games kids play. No need for hints, you can be nice and find a more reasonable time to let a guy down, but don''t wait weeks and then get angry with him because you never made your intentions clear. Because the girls don''t realize, its not that obvious for the guy to see she is trying to put off signals that she lacks interest. We will, in even the more extreme cases, often focus on the few positive over the negatives to keep up our optimism, until its written out in plain english to us, "I flattered, but no thank you." Its easy, just text that and don''t worry, even if you look like Anna Kendricks the guy is unliekly to hang himself over the news.
And have you seen the number of dudes who do the exact same thing as the supposed entitled women on dating sites? Probably not as you aren t looking at their profiles. I think we can safely say there is a portion of the population that is rather entitled in general. But go on, believe what you want to, so much easier to think you are hard done by and that women are the enemy and to blame for your failures at online dating than to maybe think we are all in this together, all have our own different kinds of shit to deal with, and that the good ones are harder to find for sure but are maybe worth the effort. On both sides.