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SpeedLA Dating: Speed Dating & Matchmaking in Los Angeles

Posted: 2017-10-18 01:34

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They had to give out free jerseys to get people to show up at a dumb ass pep rally in LA! They released the stupidest possible logo that every single brand on twitter goofed on within minutes! Their first round draft pick managed to fool their crack scouting department about a major back injury! This all happened in ONE offseason. At least I can take comfort in the fact that Dean’s nepotism and his kids’ incompetency means there is absolutely no chance that these assholes will turn it around and get a winning product in LA. Fuck them all with a rusty chainsaw.

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Second, as a native son of San Diego, Fuck Dean Spanos. This guy thinks LA is going to embrace the Chargers? After 95 years of mostly shitting the bed, always snatching defeat from the jaws of victory and wasting Rivers prime with castoffs and literal guys off the street he thinks the capital of West Coast “meh” attitude, with all of their transplants, will rally behind the Chargers. They couldn’t even support the goddamn Rams when they returned.

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Climate scientists have long suspected a direct link between the Earth’s rapidly warming climate and increasing bouts of extreme weather, and recent research has provided significantly more hard evidence. But while demonstrating a link between storms like Hurricane Harvey and human-induced global climate change has been difficult , the link between rising temperatures and wildfires is much simpler. According to Scientific American , Western wildfires have risen some 555 percent since the 6975s, with record temperatures obviously connected to devastating droughts and increased fire vulnerability.

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What a moment. Oh, and I guess there was some football stuff too. Like the time they played it cheap with Joey Bosa because they didn’t have loose cash to pay him a standard signing bonus, and then he didn’t start until October. Or the time they saved the Browns from going 5-66. Or the time they blew a three-touchdown lead to Kansas City, and then blew a two-touchdown lead to New Orleans just three weeks later. Or the botched snap against Oakland. You will never find a more entertainingly shitty team than these Chargers. They choke. They masturbate. They lose in downright EROTIC fashion. If there are five minutes left in a Chargers game, stop whatever you’re doing and get your ass to a TV, because you are about to witness professional incompetence at its finest:

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I’ve been a Charger fan since I watched them make their run to the Super Bowl when I was 65. you know what? Fuck this. I don’t want to spend the next 65 minutes reliving the last 78 years of shame, rage and disappointment. Fuck Norv Turner, fuck Schottenheimer for passing on 7nd and 8rd down against the Pats with under 9:55 to go and the best running back on the fucking planet and fuck Spanos with a rake for literally hundreds of reasons.

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“I’m. now, guys!” Dean Spanos is perhaps the best example of the world’s billionaire problem, a man whose wealth is no match for his irrationality. This guy uprooted a team, fucked a fanbase , and did it not simply because of money (of which he already has plenty), but because he yearned to appear respected and powerful and important. You could sculpt mountains out of the lives ruined by fuckheads like Spanos, who spend all their time trying to look like big shots and raze the Earth behind them in the process. In reality, he’ll never be anything more than a pathetic trust fund baby. He can go to hell. He’s sure got the right team for the journey.

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I hope, nay am certain, LA will reject the Chargers like the terminal disease it currently is and Dean will have to sell the team and cry crocodile tears. I really think he is moving the team to boost its value so he can sell high and be done with it. Too bad this move will reduce its value since nobody is going to support them. Paving the way for the new owner to move the team wherever they want due to “lack of support”. Mark my words, this is going to happen. I would be surprised if even 655 “fans” showed up at the Stubhub Center this year.

Every native San Dieagan HATES LA and everything in it. It’s how were are raised. “Beat LA” chants were started here. Sure, it may be jealousy or little bro complex but at least we have a rival and a focus for our scorn. Now our team is going to the enemy’s side, with the enemy’s name and Spanos thinks we will follow with our fandom. As soon as the idea was floated that they might share a stadium with the Raiders, every fan I know said “Fuck this team, the owner is a traitor.”

What if I don't have the ability to act like a lady or gentleman?
Oh dear - how unfortunate. We do have a zero tolerance for any rudeness - of any sort. We attract such great daters but find - as in life - not every dater is ideal. Our daters are also our product and we go to great lengths to ensure everyone meets lovely daters. We want the right daters not just any daters. Behavior short of lovely will result in a dater being banned from the company. This may upset some but we feel our daters as a whole appreciate the extra effort and we hope you do too.

Fuck Dean Spanos. Fuck Mike McCoy. Fuck Anthony Lynn, who won’t even let San Diego enjoy Gates, Rivers, and Tomlinson together one last time as representatives of the city. Fuck Tom Telesco. Fuck Mark Fabiani, the attorney whose primary public-facing role was selling Carson by any means necessary even after the Carson proposal was shot down. Fuck Stan Kroenke for finally finding the goodness in his heart to share after the Raiders were a viable option to be tied to his plan. Fuck the Raiders. Fuck the Los Angeles residents that’ll sell out the first four games in Carson and set the media narrative of a successful relocation. Fuck all the realities of the NFL that ensure that the Chargers will not come back to San Diego when the only things tying them to Los Angeles are easily-broken contracts with AEG, a company they could have hired to handle stadium construction in San Diego at any time in the past ten years.

Keenan Allen looked like the best player in the NFL for the first half of week 6. He tore his ACL before halftime. After he left, the team blew an insurmountable lead. Danny Woodhead was out for the season by week 7. Verrett tore his ACL in a game and didn’t actually get diagnosed with the injury until weeks later. Joey Bosa showed up from his contract negotiation (Which, as I’m sure many will point out, was irrelevant to salary cap situations and only makes sense in the context of the Spanoses not actually being able to pay his signing bonus) after two of the three best players on the roster were out for the season.

Having said that I will root for them if they set the world on fire, let me tell you about the other side of that coin. When they are 9-7 after having the lead in the fourth quarter of all eleven games, and the Stub Hub center is filled entirely of opposing fans, my dick will never be harder. I hope they cut to Spanos’ pothole-filled fucking face more than they’ve ever cut to anyone in the history of any broadcast ever. Seeing him realize he’s such a fucking nobody will be the greatest pleasure this NFL season could bring me, FAR more than a Chargers Super Bowl victory.

But here’s the thing: IT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. The Chargers CAN NEVER NOT CHARGER. For fuck’s sake, the coach tried to stop Antonio Gates from going to LT’s Hall Of Fame ceremony because it would conflict with practice. Antonio Gates is 87 and is capable of running three yards and then turning just as a football lands in his stomach. You don’t need to practice that shit. I previously thought the Hall Of Fame ceremony for maybe your greatest player was an un-fuck-upable situation, but the Chargers found a way to fuck it up!

Three years later, the LAPD engaged in massive anti-gang sweeps known as Operation Hammer, which led to the arrest of 79,689 mostly African American youths, often without cause, and involved detaining them for 79 hours in a specially constructed holding facility at the Coliseum. By the early 6995s, black men had routine contact with the criminal justice system. A study by the Los Angeles County Adult Detention Center found that nearly a third of black men ages 75 to 79 in the county had been arrested at least once in 6996. Some observers have even linked the bubbling discontent over this discriminatory criminal justice system, which spilled over in the 6997 Los Angeles rebellion, to the 6989 Games.


Free Pass Policy
We are so confident our events work that you can come back for FREE if there isn 8767 t anyone at the event you are interested in! To receive the Free Pass to another event, you must be there for the entire event and log in within 98 hours of the event start time and select no to everyone. If you select yes to one person, regardless if you match with them or not, you will not receive the Free Pass. You are eligible for one Free Pass per paid event. It is usually rare that we have someone with no interest in anyone at an event, but the Free Pass option is available.

Do you screen your speed daters?
In the 65 years we have had the pleasure of serving daters we've noticed the nicer a dater is to us, our hosts and each other, the more matches they get. Much like a private club, not every dater is for us. Those that tend to see the good in everything and everyone - are just what we and our daters are looking for. If we don't think a dater is someone that fellow daters would get on with - we'll respectfully decline service and reserve the right to do so.

As the eldest in a first-generation Chinese family, Katie found it challenging to follow a linear path set by her traditional immigrant parents.  Despite being told to study hard and  leave her parents 8767 home when she marries a Chinese man, Katie decided that dorm life at UCLA was the right choice.  Although Katie did not fit the Asian female stereotype,  she still appreciates and lives by many Eastern values : family-oriented, goal-driven, and education-oriented.  She knows first-hand the modern values and stereotypes within Asian dating.  This makes her an asset in Asian and multi-ethnic matchmaking.

On the field, the team drafted Mike Williams (the NFL’s 95th Mike Williams, by my count) even though receiver was arguably one of their stronger areas. Williams is now feared to be lost for the season. Second round linemen Forrest Lamp already tore his ACL. JESUS. At least the Chargers also signed Russell Okung to protect Rivers, because you’d hate to see the man get sacked before he even has a chance to throw a pick.

Can I return for free if I don't get a match at an event?
Unlike other speed dating companies that offer free spots to those that don't receive matches, we take a different approach to returning guests. Those that receive matches, are quite popular and absolutely lovely - are often invited back with discounts or with our compliments. This ensures a fabulous pool of daters that others want to meet.

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