Posted: 2017-12-07 06:54
I really appreciate your reply, it 8767 s been a pretty awful month for me going through everything but I 8767 m getting there. You 8767 re probably right with the letter so I may just leave it there, everything you have said has opened my eyes a little more do thank you! I may try & contact her again at some point but for now I 8767 m just concentrating on myself & getting things back in order.
One is more likely to die in a car accident than from an aviation accident. Should one then sell one 8767 s car and only find jobs within walking distance or instead fly to work every day?
By your reckoning, we should cater to people suffering from agoraphobia?
There 8767 s a thing called common sense and self-awareness, and being aware of our surroundings. There 8767 s danger in almost everything we everyday. But those 8775 possible 8776 dangers shouldn 8767 t stop us from doing something if that danger is neither imminent nor pervasive.
I wouldn t compare women who have sex with random men at bars, even at closing time, to prostitutes though. It s their lives after all. If that s what they want to do, more power to them. I don t judge women for that nor get stuck on a Madonna/Whore complex, which is an unfair double standard. Where one draws the line is completely obligatory anyway 8 lovers she rides the Madonna-Rail, 9 she can t? That s stupid. Humans are one of few animals who can have sex whenever we want so so long as it s all consensual and legal, I don t judge anyone for it. If I do I am harsher on men to be honest.
My typical response if I wasn 8767 t interested was 8775 Thank you for the nice message, but I don 8767 t think we would be compatible because ______. Good luck in your search! 8776 95% of of the time, that blank was filled with, 8775 you want children and I do not. 8776 I recognize that 8767 s an easy way to weed out people that doesn 8767 t apply to most, but there is probably something in their profile anyone could allude to.
It 8767 s not just that the police will be more useful in a really unstable work situation than an unstable online dating one. I once saw a candidate go nuts after rejection (as in nailing dead wildlife to my then employer 8767 s door, placing long screeds on dashboards of cars in the parking lot next to our building, and ranting in the boulevard across the road). The police were helpful and proactive in protecting us and ensuring the candidate got the help he needed.
OH! Yes, I see what you mean, in that 85-year-olds today don t have more partners than 85-year-olds a decade ago. I can agree with that. I just felt like DNL s point was, People on average have fewer sex partners than you think they do only 6 in their whole life on average! And I wanted to point out that to my mind, the data seems to suggest that the average is probably 95-55% higher than he s stating.
We are both divorced now and his children are older than mine. They are in college and mine are still in school. My is in elementary school and has disabilities caused from a brain tumor when he was very (benign tumor but has shunt and learning issues related to the tumor). This causes me a great deal of stress as his father is not very involved with his health issues, which is one of the main reasons we divorced. Just recently it was discovered that he has major impairments that are irreversible and I 8767 m trying to fully grasp that he will have these issues for the rest of his life. He is a wonderful boy, and full of life, and I know he will be OK, but the stress of this has caused me a great deal of pain, I haven 8767 t been sleeping and have just not been myself. Very distracted, easily irritated, etc.
Sorry, I took it as a given that most people would read it as increasing numbers as the person ages, but he does say over the lifetime , which I d read as including the whole data set, and I honestly wasn t thinking in terms of someone making the point that 75 year olds wouldn t have an average of 6 partners since I ve read that report before and had already mentally parsed the numbers.
So, the real question is what do you do about it? For one, I wouldn’t attend his romantic solo tutoring session created specifically for you. If he’s saying those things in front of people imagine what he might say—or do—when it’s just you two in a room alone. Ew. He may not actually be a total creep, but you’re probably better off getting tutoring from a classmate if he makes you uncomfortable. Think about it—you won’t be able to focus and learn when you’re on your guard the whole time.
I have actually struggled to get antidepressants/anti-anxiety medication prescribed for myself. I m in therapy, and it s helping, but I feel like something to stabilize me while I m in therapy would probably help the therapy work more effectively. When anxiety and depression keep sabotaging my efforts to take my therapist s advice and to believe things can get better, it makes it very hard to make progress.
It 8767 s strange how the topic of being 8775 stood up 8776 is not discussed very often when it 8767 s so common for internet dates. Even if you talk on the phone and confirm a date on the day of the date, people don 8767 t show up or they send you a last minute text. It 8767 s frustrating and embarrassing too. To make matters worse, some of these losers will keep sending you messages after they flake out.
A while back I said I thought height was a silly reason to make that decision on. (My own height is pretty much exactly what society considers correct , so the argument wasn t out of self-interest.) A chorus of people told me how wrong I was and they had an absolute right to choose their partners on height. Well OK, but in that case I have a right to feel that way about sexual history. Fair enough to list the arguments against it being an issue, but I feel DNL and some commentators go too far in trying to shame people out of what is really an unexplainable gut feeling like any other.
Your statement is that you d have to rely on the fact that someone would want to have sex with you, but I think if you were really honest, you d admit that if you lowered your standards enough, there s someone who would love to jump your bones. Because I m certain there s been times when you ve looked at dudes and thought How is THAT DUDE getting laid and I m not!
Thanks for answering me.
Sigh It s infuriating to know there s so many unprofessional doofuses out there.
It s not all of them. I like to think it s not most of them. But that doesn t matter when you get the bad luck to run into one of them
I don t have any better answers or advice right now, man. So I m just gonna say thanks again for contributing in the vulnerable way you have. And Jedi Hugs (because CA, lol)
I enjoyed your informative article and the comments afterwards, I think if one understands the context in which this article is written "What men want" then one will understand the value of the article.
I find it of great value (I know what I want and am able to adequately commuicate this) men are somewhat less commuicative so this article is beneficial to me :).
Regards a demand for more balance well I think one must assume a position of "which came first the chicken or the egg", not arguing who takes responsibility but I am certain that any man (or person for that matter) who finds his/her needs being met will respond favourably.
Although I still grieve I am allowing for that rolling with it and working thru this little by little. I have my better moments as well. My advice to anyone out there going through this is to not add the extra burden of being mad at yourself for not getting over it quickly enough. You only grieve as deep as you loved but I will be happy when I am no longer affected by this. I 8767 m working on it xo best of luck to all
I dabble in online dating, and I do not respond to guys I 8767 m uninterested in. In part because it 8767 s just too many, but also because I don 8767 t want to engage with someone when I 8767 m not going to change my mind, and, from my perspective, there is no good that can come from it, as there 8767 s an unsettlingly high likelihood that the response will be really unpleasant/abusive/creepy. Best case scenario is he goes, ok, have a good one, but I really feel like my not answering _is_ an answer. If I wanted to talk, I would have. Most dudes never follow up, though some send a second or third message, and I also ignore those. It rarely gets past that. I did respond to one guy who would. not. stop. messaging. with the polite 8775 thanks, but I don 8767 t think we 8767 re a good match 8776 and then he wanted to know why (several dealbreakers in his profile and also an inability to read the room). I didn 8767 t answer and he finally left me alone.
There is a difference between assigning judgement to something (. virgin=loser, lots of partners=dirty, poor=lazy, attractive=stupid, rich=better) and thinking quality X is something you are not attracted to, be it height, hair length, lifestyle, weight, age, etc.. In the first case, you assign moral and personal characteristics based on quality X. In the second case, you just do not get pantsfeel for quality X, no moral or character assumptions attached.
Also in my humble opinion alot of his issues with me are such 8775 trivial 8776 things that in no way should get in the way of true love. So I just have to conclude that he did not love me enough to accept me with my imperfections. There are lots of things about him that were very hard to deal with but they never caused me to not be in love with him anymore. And never would have.
And I bet if you looked at the women you d be interested in, and you looked at their guys, most of them probably aren t dating corporate lawyers. I m not saying that to be mean to anyone, but the point is that they re probably dating people in their socio-economic group. And the longer you withhold yourself from trying to date, the more of those women you d be interested in are going to find boyfriends and husbands and so on.