Posted: 2017-11-14 19:41
In comparison to the work nice guys have to do, women (particularly average to good looking women) absolutely do appear to have all the advantages. Average nice guys are competing for attention from the creeps, the jerks, the ugly guys, the good looking guys, the hookup bad boys, even other women. All the cards are stacked against us. It's like a message in a bottle or winning the lottery to catch them at just the right time at just the right moment to get a response.
First off it is important to recognize that those in positions of prestige will seek to maintain their position and furthermore will seek to promote the inclusion of their offspring into similar positions. Secondly our education system isn't so much a system of learning as it is a system of training. For our society to function we require managers and workers. If our education system really sought to equalize knowledge our current system would cease to exist. Instead our education system is designed to separate gifted from normal students as potential managers versus the working class.
Yeah..when I was online dating, I messaged quite a few men. SEVERAL. All at a similar level of attractiveness to myself. Not a single one replied. And in case you're wondering, my photos were quite nice, and my profile was thoughtful and grammatically correct. All the guys online sift through looking for the "hot girls" and don't give a crap about anything else -- and then whine that online dating is so hard.
Well my gf tried not to do that but end up doing it because her baby sitting aid never came and told the manager not to work the same shift so i can take care of her child versa. That not really made me mad fact that it affected my hours and I am good employee. Anyway I had a talk and there was transition in management i got my hours back but now she stressing out because her other sitter her elderly mom can barely do it. She has hard time walking and has doc appointments. Pretty sure she just got fired because she called in rest of the week and demanded to speak to higher managers up about it. we got into big argument other day she not saying much. Matter in fact i think had to do with the fact i kinda took nutural stance on the issue as long as work gave me my hours and money i wanted. Idk. WHat to do. I still like her but honestly she had the kid when she wasn 8767 t ready. I am not willing to sacrifice myself for her kid to that extreme.
So when I met my 8775 husband 8776 in college and eventually shared the news of my son, the comment was, 8775 I had promised myself NEVER to date a woman with a child, but since we have come this far . 8776 . What? Oh my God, where was my good sense then? Mark you, I was 69 years old at this point. I should have body slammed (just kidding) this joker then, but the perception of being in love cloaked in naivity is a mother in itself!
Eric: Yes. Stop ignoring all of us. You know, guys get accused a lot of being superficial and basing everything on looks, but I can&rsquo t help thinking that most of these women just file quickly through a guy&rsquo s photos and then fly right on to the next one without actually getting to know what the guy is like. It&rsquo s so frustrating, because you know, I think a lot of really nice guys out there could make for amazing boyfriends who would treat these lonely, single women like they deserve to be treated. Instead, you know, I think a lot of them are still hung up on hunting for the bad boys, the smooth-talkers. I don&rsquo t know what more a nice guy can do, but I do know it would be nice if some of these women would at least give us a chance to show what we have to offer.
Personally, I was a daily OKCupid user for more than five years and in that time I doubt I got more than 65 responses to messages that I sent. I tried much the same approach as Eric and I was ignored to an even greater degree. In the end, I deleted my account. It was an enormous waste of time. I'm actually a big believer that its quantitative analysis has value, but since I had to depend on some form of positive reaction from an other human being and did not even happen often enough for me to draw any conclusion except that continuing to not have any interaction at all was psychologically damaging.
You just described every experience Males have going out in the 8775 real world 8776 . Going somewhere where men outnumber women 8 to 6. Trying to talk to women who have the pick of the litter so they shun interest in you. Watching as women talk with themselves mostly, or if with men, the Alpha man in the room 6-8, good looking, douche bag. When you do talk to a woman, they say they have a boyfriend yeah right. And then go home smelling like a bar with your tail between your legs.
I'm college educated with 7 degrees and a terrific job. I make just under $655k per year, have one grown son with an engineering degree. I'm not overweight, and work out everyday for at least an hour. Hiking in nature preserves in Florida is fun, having lunch overlooking the ocean, I'm a vegan, a good cook, and talent. Can't get a decent date. I don't like being attacked on the first date and believe intimacy between two people who love each other is best. I'm interested in hard working men who need someone. An average guy will do. But hard to find.
My advice to Eric is to get back on line. He will eventually find maybe not the "perfect girl" but a girl he can live with. And that's another thing. We all form in our mind the picture of the "perfect mate" - the right mix of intelligence, beauty, oersonality and income. Then we measure all prospects against that ideal and, unsurprisingly, all candidates fail the comparison. Life is a series of compromises. As the 6975s song said "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with."
In my opinion she and he should be able to understand each other. Most people makes mistakes on this. I know few people who had broke up with their partner due to silly reasons. Another big mistake women tend to make is to show ego when talking with their friends. I had this experience at the time of my first date and totally pissed off about her. I still remember one of my friend who had dated with a girl from a matchmaking program in Toronto. They had married and lived together for about 6 months. But after that they had separated from each other due to simple issues.
I 8767 ve written countless messages to countless women over the years. Generally I avoid the truly generic ones that only say 8775 I like to have fun 8776 and 8775 I love a good laugh 8776 , or 8775 I like to stay in OR go out 8776 . You will have a much easier time composing a message to somebody who actually mentions tastes or passions that you both share, because you can ask more nuanced questions about them using your own knowledge of those interests. However, you can also end up writing to people you have loads in common with and they still won 8767 t be interested maybe because they 8767 ve just met someone, you don 8767 t appear attractive to them in your profile pic or whatever other reason. It 8767 s pot luck.
I've tried POF and am currently using OkCupid. I've gotten to speak with a few women, but only have met one outside of the digital world and we found that we didn't really connect. Which is my main problem thus far with the sites lack of connection. I can think of plenty of reasons why women wouldn't respond to me, but for those who do, we just can't seem to connect. Eventually, we seem to run out of things to chat about, and the conversations die off.
I used to date a woman a couple of years ago and she had a 8 years old kid. As a man, I really invite all men to consider your options and what is best for you as a man. If you 8767 re going to give up your freedom, resources, time and energy for a woman with a kid, she better be an extraordinary woman. In my case, she was physically beautiful, still and her kid was amazing, we 8767 re still buddies. Sadly, she was a bad mother. I know this is not the case for every single mother out there but ask yourself what kind of woman you 8767 re dealing with and what was the scenario for her to get pregnant and eventually become a single mother. Try to see beyond your love, passion or even compassion, and ask yourself if you 8767 re really honest when commiting to a single mother, think about her kid and think about if you 8767 d rather have your own kids, remember, you must not pity her and base your decisions on this.
My experience exactly. I 8767 m now 65, divorced at 95. Since my divorce, I met one 8775 eligible 8776 bachelor who died of a sudden heart attack soon after asking me to marry him. Fortunately, I 8767 ve had my career and friends to keep me busy. I do volunteer work, joined the Rotary club, joined a church singles group, go on meetups, ballroom dance, have done the online dating thing etc. etc. Up until four years ago, I had my dad to help me out. I was devastated when he died, because he was my best friend and confidant.
My problem hasn't been so much with the issues mentioned in the article..I don't know what it's like in other areas, but when I search dating sites in my area, it is the same people on there all the time, year after year. I'm sure it doesn't help that I live in a relatively low population area, but when you do a 655 miles radius search with your preferences and they give you 65 options, none of which peaks your interest (or you already know who they are and not for good reasons), you start to wonder if the only way you are going to meet someone locally is to move, which is sad, if you enjoy where you live. One thing I am most tired of is feeling like I'm reading the same profile over and over. 'Cliches' is a good word to sum up the majority of really becomes a bore. You know what I mean."ask me anything" " I have kids and they are my number 6. if you don't like it, move on!!!" "No games" "Im an open book"... the minute I start reading and see one, I next. Yeah, I have grown quite cynical of online dating, both with the men I have met in real life and the profiles I have seen.
I wonder if the information provided about there being more men than women is for a particular age group? i m in my early 55's and trying online dating on e-harmony only. I am reasonably attractive and several of my photos were taken by a professional (not altered in any way-I wanted it to be clear that they are really like me and give the date taken). I've put a lot of effort into my profile so that it gives unique info about me and describes the qualities of a good guy are to me and despite having at least one hundred matches in my region I haven't received any communication sincc
e the first week when 7 men contacted me with questions. So I have communicated with several men. Only 7 replied. Are all the men contacting the same small subset of women or are they to lazy to communicate at all. Several of the men I communicated with then viewed my profile and neither responded or blocked me. It takes only 7 clicks to block a profile. I find it inconsiderate.
As a male in the dating seen I feel most ladies don 8767 t understand nice men because there a rare breed of men and most women enjoy bad boys but don 8767 t understand the problems of doing from what I 8767 ve seen the bad boys are more likely to be verbally abusive and also abusive in the way they touch ladies and will also spoung the money out of a lady as a nice man why do women egnor the nice guy ?
Wow, makes me lol to hear women complain about OKC. Oh no, you had to sift through a bunch of messages from really gross people? Oh poor baby, the internet really just isn't for you, is it? That certainly is somehow equivocal to the disappointment a lot of men receive on these sites of getting no attention at all.. oh wait, those two aren't even remotely comparable. If you can't deal with ugly, sleazy, mediocre people, get the fuck off the internet!
Then I started talking to my female friends. They all had pretty good conversation rates, getting anywhere from 5-75 messages per day. And their conversations tended to last if they wanted it to. What I realized was the dynamic was completely different women naturally start becoming a lot more arbitrarily selective because of this constant initiation. If you don't stand out with your picture as a man you're doomed to failure: all the Marissa's in the world will think of the best looking man that they've slept with, say "given the field I can do better", and move on without a second thought. Whether or not you would be a great fit, whether or not you're a secret agent or a millionaire. It's totally arbitrary.