Posted: 2017-11-14 13:54
It has become clear to me with the passing of the years that my knowledge and understanding are very limited much to my own consternation. However I will do my best to explain the situation as I see it. My answer will likely seem off topic and possibly confusing. Unfortunately the real issue, as is almost always the case with problems we are facing today, exists far beyond the usual scope of answers proffered.
I think be reading the comments here on what women want, one can easily tell why men aren't getting what THEY want. It's always funny to see men saying what women really want and what we really think, and with such confidence! Oh, the laughs. Men, you can thank your fellow dudes here for spending too much time in pick-up artist forums, and tainting the dating pool so heavily with these wildly inaccurate childish perspectives they learn from other creepy men. Please do not blame women, for if you had to read dozens of messages from guys in the Red Pill community, who sound more and more like Elliot Rodgers the longer they remain single, you'd probably bow out of dealing with it after too long as well.
On Richard's comment to guys about looking at other guys profiles, that only works to a certain extent or based on luck too. It's more about seeing other profile examples to see what might work or not work for you. But one would never know how well the other guys profiles are unless you happen to be or become friends with them to find out. So in the end you try out things and see how it goes in that regards to seeing other guys profiles.
I also ignore or block creepy messages for which I get a lot. If you're okay looking and you message me about something we're both interested in I will reply. If I replied to every single message, even the ones I wasn't attracted to, I would have to be talking to at least 65 different guys every day. And they would probably continue talking to me for a week at least. That's around 655 different people I would have to talk to by the end of my first week. Almost all of those guys will probably be ones I'm not interested in so why would I bother? It will be a waste of time for both of us.
Easy there, buddy. I actually agree with your general premise that 95% of women target the top 65% of men. But don't go telling someone you've never met she's "way past her prime." I've met some absolutely stunning and wonderful women in their 85s and 95s. I do think it's funny that you label a "hot single guy in his 85s," as tops among men. That's Me. Let me tell you , they're not all looking for that. I'm in my 85s and in great shape (best of my life), 6ft tall, friendly, respectful, own a house, two cars, my own business, and vacation around the world. And I still struggle to get women who aren't overweight or who have kids to respond to me! My guess, for whatever reason, I don't photograph very well. And apparently, that's the most important thing. I've always done much much better meeting people in bars. Honestly, I'd ditch the computer and go back to that in a second, except all of my friends are married and don't want to go out anymore. So, if I go out to a bar, I'm the weird guy out at the bars alone. It's not easy for anybody, unless you look like Brad Pitt.
To Ryan Dube: Thanks for the thoughtful reply, Ryan. And sadly, I suppose you are right. It is frustrating, for both men and women I guess, how shallow and looks-focused internet dating is. In fact, a study by OkCupid revealed pretty clear data that profile text matters not at all, and pictures are what drive activity on the site. I think, to some extent, this is the case in "real life" too - that people can be superficial, and everyone wants a "gorgeous" mate. But in real life you don't have this fake world where all the pretty people are spread before you as available to you. You meet who you meet, and can tell quickly in many cases if they will be interested or not, and can also experience more than just the visual. The profiles are meant to give that experience, but I think perhaps, for a variety of reasons, internet dating becomes some fantasy world where everyone seems to think their gorgeous mate is waiting, and it is work to read a profile, and if he/she isn't attractive enough, why bother?
Eric: It&rsquo s not. I spent hours trying to create a profile that shows people what I&rsquo m really like. No dice. Sure, I get a lot of profile &ldquo views&rdquo , but no messages. I&rsquo ve scheduled about an hour a day to browse through profiles and I look for several things. Most importantly is that she likes doing similar things that I do. Secondly of course is that the profile gives me some feeling that there could be chemistry.
Well with so many women that now have their Careers today are a bunch of Narcissists, Greedy, Selfish, and very Power Money Hungry too which Most of them really Believe that they're all that since they really do have a very serious Attitude Problem which they really do need help very badly. Online dating really Sucks to meet a Good woman these days which in the Past Most women were Definitely much Easier to meet at that time and had a much Better Personality compared to the women of today which is why many of us Good men are still Single today which Most of us are Not really to Blame at all. Women today do want the Best and will Never settle for Less at all which it is very Sad how the women of today have really Changed.
It is important to note that women are playing their own role in this game of losers. Women by evolutionary design (primarily revolving around the unequal distribution of effort regarding procreation) seek out comfort and safety which play into the unequal distribution of power and wealth. Early on men realize their ability to find a partner directly correlates to their ability to acquire wealth so as to be a better provider of safety and comfort for a wife and any potential offspring. While it is true a poor man can find a partner it should come as no surprise that the greater wealth a man possesses the more opportunities he has to find a desirable mate.
I think that online dating is "brutal" for both men and women, but for different reasons. Sadly for men, it is a fact that the VAST majority of online dating members on any site are men, so the odds are heavily stacked against men from the very start. For women, they get lots of messages, but pass over any that seem like nice guys and end up writing back to the losers. Women will choose "losers" over "nice guys" 99% of the time and it makes their online experience miserable.
What you have to realize as a guy is that weirdly enough there are literally thousands of male profiles that have handsome guys educated to doctorate level on these sites. Just take a look for yourself. This means that no woman would even consider your profile if you a) don't have a doctorate b) don't look at least 'ok' but the doctorate is the clincher. Its just as if when us guys look at profiles on these sites if there were thousands of porn star hot profiles on the site and you had some chance of having them reply to you, you wouldn't even think about wasting your time with a quite pretty girl who was really nice. Unfortunately It's as simple as that. It's not cos you or I are mean it just would be lunacy if you found a hot model liked you and you liked her to go for someone else. That is what these girls are all effectively facing from their point of view a dating site chock full of the most attractive guys so why bother on the rest. Not only that but even for the doctorate level entries they don't get women hitting on then out of the blue every 5 minutes. Try it make a fake profile and you'll see what I mean.
9: If you want a heterosexual paradigm: Woman only actively seek profiles up. Men stop initiating any contact. This is of course an utopia. From my experience (probably longer than most of you), the silver platter women are handed is not going to change. Those in power will seldom let go of it. And yes, there are some degree of initiating contact from woman, but it is truly unbalanced. What happened to equality and girl power?
Be selective about which dating agency you use. For example there are some associated with quality newspapers and in UK one associated with a classical music radio channel. Those are not likely to appeal to readers of the tabloid press or aficionados of more popular styles of music so you have some idea what kind of person you'll meet. There is also a cost range. Low budget sites will attract low budget people.
Yet, Ironically, women will spend their 75's chasing all those players and bad boys who will never in a million years settled for these girls only to figure out that by the time they hit 85, all of the guys they could have had are long gone an these players and bad boys want nothing to do with a 85 year old girl cuz they're still getting attention from the 75 year old ones. Lifelong cycle. I'm 87. I haven't had to date a 85 year old EVER. there's always been a 75 something year old interested in me.
I've had the same experience as you've said. I don't understand it. They keep ignoring everything I say to them about myself. They become fixated on the picture, even though my profile says I don't think I'm wonderful and my hair looks awful. They don't read it at all. I'm a whole person and this is wasting my time. I'm still at home on a Saturday night. If I'm that gorgeous (I don't think I am), why aren't they asking me out? I've tried to prompt them and get nowhere. Are they shy? Are they feeling inadequate? I can deal with that if the person is interested. If you can't get past that to find out, then I give up.
All human beings.. and I mean ALL.. including feminist retards like this one know it is MEN who are NOT WIRED for monogamy.. and women are the ones who nail men down.. it is GENETIC. Females often died from childbirth.. and once knocked up, they were out of commission for a year.. while males mated with as many females as possible. look at Ghenghis Khan.. half of Mongolia's and China's population carries HIS genes. not "hers" sweet silly thing.
I've tried POF and am currently using OkCupid. I've gotten to speak with a few women, but only have met one outside of the digital world and we found that we didn't really connect. Which is my main problem thus far with the sites lack of connection. I can think of plenty of reasons why women wouldn't respond to me, but for those who do, we just can't seem to connect. Eventually, we seem to run out of things to chat about, and the conversations die off.
Ohh my the replies are so scathing to you, how dare you come on here and make such opinions?!? You are by no means entitled to an opinion, which, exactly what the broad said to you. What a incredibly hypocritical statement, when her whole reply is her opinion of your opinion. I guess only women have the right to opine on anything. Then, when a male opines they are "out of line" and "need to check themselves and their own issue". Same exact BS all girls pull when they think a guy can have any thoughts about all the mistakes they make with dating. But they can't spout out all the guy's mistakes that are made and try to sound like dating experts. Just shut up, your "opinions" are no more relevant than anyone's.
There are some very interesting posts here. For the ladies I would say I'm sorry that you have to put up with so many rude, insulting, crass men and their messages. Very unfortunate, but most likely the culmination of a cultural whirlwind that has swept over the land the last 55 years or so.
I typically respond to messages from women that I have no interest in and do so in a polite manner, encouraging them to stick with it as it takes time to find the right person online.
However, I don't think the online dating model is productive, for all the reasons mentioned in the posts below. And to those that say that millions of people have met and married via online dating sites, I say prove it with hard data, not conclusory statements bereft of evidence.
I know I am not the only guy to have a girl turn me down with hurtful comments after leading you on and thinking you should have just realized she was not interested and gave up. Thing is you couldn't "take a hint", but we are adults here and those are games kids play. No need for hints, you can be nice and find a more reasonable time to let a guy down, but don't wait weeks and then get angry with him because you never made your intentions clear. Because the girls don't realize, its not that obvious for the guy to see she is trying to put off signals that she lacks interest. We will, in even the more extreme cases, often focus on the few positive over the negatives to keep up our optimism, until its written out in plain english to us, "I flattered, but no thank you." Its easy, just text that and don't worry, even if you look like Anna Kendricks the guy is unliekly to hang himself over the news.