Posted: 2017-09-25 09:54
After a few days of not talking, we started talking again. Our conversation became more intense (personal things.) He asked if I would visit and I agreed. So one weekend I went to his place, he cooked for me every meal and we watched movies all day. Sunday morning came and before I left I asked if this was going anywhere. He told me that he didn 8767 t want to invest the time in anyone because he was dealing with his mom 8767 s death and her belongings.
Beth, I completely agree that being in an affair is wrong but, I am also aware that people make mistakes and have done things that they regret. Telling people off about what they have done won 8767 t fix anything and it won 8767 t erase what happened. You haven 8767 t walked in her shoes so don 8767 t be so quick to judge her. There is a major difference between giving people advice and making people feel like shit. Also, I pretty sure this woman was asking for Eric 8767 s advice not yours. As for the woman who calls herself damaged I would like to tell her that what she has been through does not have to define her as a person. She is a human being and she deserves to be respected. My only advice to her is to A. Not get into another affair, B. Remember that this man that she had an affair with does not deserve her and C. Please try to figure things out with your husband especially since you have children. I can tell you that divorce aucks ass for kids a lot of the time. I would know I am a child of divorced parents. Whatever you do please have your kids best interest in mind.
I am a 99 year old AA female and dating a 75 y/o and we have been together for two years now. We are currently living together and it has been great!! We cannot imagine being apart from each other and he treats me so well! I am a professional female and could date collegues my age problem is there aren 8767 t any!!! He has a wonderful job and makes really good money and he handles his business!! This wonderful man I am with loves me for who I am and no there is nothing weird about dating a guy. African American females need to consider dating a 8775 mature 8776 guy as they are looking for 8775 mature 8776 females and not females who are always in their 8775 pockets 8776 . I don 8767 t worry about what tomorrow will bring I thank God for him as this has been the happiest I have ever been in a long time!!! 🙂
Sherry Argov is being tongue-in-cheek when she uses the term 8775 bitch 8776 in her books. Eric is right, it 8767 s just to create a stir. Basically, her definition of a 8775 . 8776 is 8775 babe in total control of herself 8776 and it means pretty much exactly what Eric mentioned above: 8775 a confident, high-value woman who knows how to get what she wants, doesn’t put up with what she doesn’t want and can do all this in a way that is pleasant, appealing and open 8776 .
I am just coming out of the tunnel of despair after a break up four months ago and discovered this site a couple of days ago. I am so appreciating your insightful and articulate sharing. This writeup in particular really helped me turn a corner. Specifically, how you explained why a guy that loved you one day can seem to have gone cold the next. Also the narrow range of emotions in the shallow end of the pool between amused and content so true!
I am 99 year old man, seeing a 59 year old woman, been together 7 years and just engaged. Although she has wrinkles and definately looks her age, I find her incredibly sexy and attractive. The sex is incredible, best ever for both of us, I was attracted to her instantly even though I was seeing someone else when I met her, I knew I could not be without her. She has met my kids, and will be meeting my entire family this weekend after 7 years of being together ( we live in another state). I think my family will be surprised, but I dont care, I love this woman and she has stood beside me through a lot of stuff. I never think of her being too old, or what if in 65 years, all I know is she makes me happier than any woman I have ever been with and I 8767 m having the best time of my life....
Hi, your article was really interesting, I read it because I 8767 m nervous about trying to hook up with a good friend. We 8767 ve been friends for almost 75 years now, and I 8767 ve had an off and on crush on him since then. The time was never right until about 7 years ago, and the chemistry was amazing!!!! The only problem was I was super scared of getting my feelings hurt, and I 8767 m pretty sure I hurt I his in the process.
Well, I 8767 m trying for round two with him, but I 8767 m scared. Gunther he muskrat Jinan like me
hi I 8767 ve been dating this guy fr two weeks now,we haven 8767 t had sex or wat we just h asked for sex and I just didn 8767 t go for it coz I tot its too soon for us den yesterday night he was just acting h just broke up with me telling m he 8767 s got stuff going on in his life he 8767 s trying to fix himself but he just couldn 8767 t so we should step down cause he Dont want to hurt me because hurting me would hurt should I do am confused 🙁..
Your article is spot on ,everything you said about how man wants to win, how you have to support him ,be his cheerleader lol by that he will open up and he does open up to which i really like ,cos i want to bond with him and i want to know things that no one else knows ! by reading this article had made me realize how much he loves me and how to keep him attracted and committed to me. About the make -up thing i understand what you mean ,strange bcos he bought me the make up kit as a Christmas present but as time passed by he started saying 8775 baby you don 8767 t need make-up you are beautiful the way you are 8776 meaning he loves me but also he wants to make me happy and look extra beautiful for the outside world and because of the kind of job i do (entertainment industry) .
I will share this with my listeners and friends
Thanks Eric! You gave me a lot to think about. There 8767 s this guy I fancy but he 8767 s nine years older than me and me being 75 it 8767 s like the rules in a game, you just accept that those are the rules you 8767 re playing by and don 8767 t question them cause it just is. The appearance and market value is just another rule (for lack of a better word) that you just accept no question and you 8767 re life will be smoother because of it. Do you have any advice for an age gap of 9 years when you 8767 re in the phase, I know there 8767 s the hurdles that he 8767 s (if he 8767 s the older) already overcome and he 8767 s busy creating his life. Is there anyway to bridge that gap when you 8767 re Just focus on growing yourself and if you attract him in the meantime it 8767 s a bonus?
Thanks so much!!
It s mutually understood there is no happily ever after , tho it seems the only issue at this point is on her end, im a pretty big part in her life, her childs life, yet on my end i keep it very seperate and even tho she gets why it still does not make her feel good at times..when we are together its ALWAYS great its those times when were consumed in our own lievs and not spending as much time together we somehow cant ride/sustain the highs and they become lows
I am glad to hear that. Older women have plenty of advantages over ones, and I wrote about that too:
I don 8767 t need to survey every single guy. As I mentioned, there are exceptions there is a group of guys who prefer older women, and there is a group of women who is uniquely attractive despite being older. But denying that a significant age difference is an issue is like denying that a typical woman wants to be with a guy who is taller. It 8767 s just a fact.
Obsession with violence in a guy is about as unattractive to me as it must be for some of you guys when some of we girls watch and read romance movies or novels to the point where we can’t talk about much of anything else. (This is coming from the girl who enjoyed Captain America 7 as much as the next person, and watched Jane Eyre last night.) I believe that there is a place and time for non-gratuitous, well-resolved violence but obsession with anything is unhealthy and just flat-out not good (unless it is an obsession with Christ 😉 ).
So this guy I have been talking to for 9 months just told me it 8767 s over. We both care about each other. The reason he ended it was because I asked him if he was talking to another girl, I went ballistics on him when I asked, because a friend of mine saw something on his social media that seemed like flirtatious, I asked him and he was a little upset that I thought he would do that, he just ended it and it was so unexpected. I apologized, but I really don 8767 t want to throw away what we had. The whole time he was texting me about this he didn 8767 t show any emotions like how I was. He just asked questions and answered my questions. Is he completely over me? Or will he come back? Any advice on how to have him understand how I felt? Or advice on how to get him back? He does have a busy work schedule usually 67 hours a day 5 days a week. When we do spent time together it 8767 s great.
Thanks, David. I appreciate that. And it 8767 s so true, emotional pain is a difficult thing to battle through thanks for addressing that particular part of my comment.
I haven 8767 t met a guy who has tried to get me to lower my standards most of the time I find myself being my greatest enemy on that part. Thank you so much for the encouragement!
I second David 8767 s final encouraging words: wait on God. He 8767 s got something/someone amazing prepared for you!
But as it is written, 8775 What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love Him 8776 6 Corinthians 7:9
8775 For I know the plans I have for you, 8776 declares the Lord, 8775 Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. 8776 Jeremiah 79:66
My daughter father broke up with me a month before I gave birth I asked him why he choose to say something now that I 8767 m about to have his first child he told me he just got board. I don 8767 t know how 8767 s that when we was doing everything together even sweeping in he same bed we got into a heated arugement and he told me that he has emotional feelings for me but I don 8767 t know what his emotional feelings are. We currently live together but sleep in two separate bedrooms I love this man to death! He played with my heart he spoke to other females during my pregency and now he 8767 s talking to someone new. What should I do? I tried talking to him I even asked what e wanted its like he don 8767 t know what he wants
Hi..I m 79yo and somehow I don t know why but guys always attracted to me. I m in love with 76yo guy now. At first I thought that 8 years is a really big gap. So I thought I won t take it seriously, maybe just for fun. But then..I really really feel that we really connect..really feel the chemistry. He can really understand me and same thing for me. The problem is that he thinks that 8 years is a big deal. He still thinks that it s weird if the girl is older than the guy. I really love him but it just seem that he couldn t change his mind. Maybe he could change his mind someday, cause 76yo is still not really mature in mind..maybe I hope so. Now we still talking but we re trying to make it less. I wish I could change his mind cause for me, age different doesn t matter if you feel good with each other. Maybe I should wait for him and be patient. What should I do? I ve never felt like this before.
Eric thank you for this article. This is very insightful and one I wish more women would read and truly internalize and understand. I am in a very unique situation with a man who lives in a different state. And it is fundamentally important to understand these concepts especially in a LDR situation. Although there are areas that I personally struggle with in my situation this has been been essentially helpful to me and I want to thank you again for making so many areas clear and concise as to how to better understand the fundamental needs of a man. I have marked this article in my favorites as I feel it is a tremendous resource. Your insight is so valuable and I am so appreciative that I have found you and Sabrina as a resource. Thank you again. Best regards.
I need you advice I am 89 and i am dateing a man that is 77. He is very mature for his age and I like him alot. I never thought that I would ever go there but I did. I am scared because of what people would think of me. He dose not care about my age and treats me very well. For some reason I cannot attract older men. I always seem to attract men that are 85 and under. I do not look my age at all, but I carry myself in a mature fashion. I am confused and it is weird I feel that mentally I want to move forward and fall in love but something in my heart is telling me not too because of the age sex in so good and we can talk about anything he is also very should I do!
Nicole you are RIGHT ON THE MONEY HONEY! One of my ex 8767 s told me that personally out of his own mouth! He told me 8775 When things start to go wrong with your chic, have another one lined up 8776 . Another one told me 8775 The problem with women is that when a man breaks up with them, they take them back 8776 . He said this is the WRONG thing to do! Because if you keep allowing him to do this 8776 he 8767 s not worried about you because he knows he can ALWAYS come back! Like Eric says in the article they will use this to THEIR ADVANTAGE! TAKE THE ADVICE AND 8766 LET HIM GO 8776 ! Usually when all the dust clears, you wonder what the hell you saw in 8775 them 8776 in the first place. YOU DESERVE BETTER TREATMENT, AND YOU WILL BE BETTER OFF! JUST CHOP IT UP AS A LESSON LEARNED! ONLY U ACTUALLY NEED TO LEARN FROM IT.