Posted: 2017-11-14 18:51
I hate it when I make the effort to ask someone on a date and they look at me like I asked if they would take their pants off. Yes, you can assume I 8767 m asking because I find you physically attractive however, unless its in a situation where I will probably never see you again, you can also assume that we have spoken before and some aspect of your personality (sweetness, intellect, similar view points, etc.) has intrigued me enough to go out on a limb and put my fragile male ego on the line to offer to take you out.
Anyway, now, at my age (like Noquay said) the only options I have are those men who have been divorced. I know my love life has definitely come to an end, (tears forming now) because I just can 8767 t go through the hurt and pain and disappointment anymore. That REALLY WAS the last chance saloon. A whole year. I will never understand how he couldn 8767 t love me as deeply as I loved him. Even though I know it is a bona fide problem that he had before he met me, and in spite of what my daughter said, I still can 8767 t make sense of it. We were so right for each other.
This is so true. My sister has been a couples therapist for over 75 years and she commented once that many newly separated men are 8775 sexually hungry. 8776 Maybe some of them think it 8767 s time they 8775 got their share 8776 after years of monogamy or they have the kid in the candy store mentality with no boundaries, no restraint, no reason to deny themselves. After all, isn 8767 t 8775 playing the field 8776 what men are supposed to do? What 8767 s the problem?
So for all of you who keep saying 8775 It 8767 s me, it 8767 s me 8776 please stop. You might be managing down your expectations because of years of having them managed down and a new 8775 normal 8776 has lowered your standards by virtue of your human and understandable desire of wanting to share your life with a companion. Nothing and I do mean there is nothing wrong with wanting that.
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Was I EUM in my 75s? I don 8767 t think so at least not from a place of avoidance or issues but if I was it was from a place of wanting to experience and grow into myself. I moved to NYC at the age of 69 with only $855, no credit and not knowing anyone in the city. I did it. I secured an apartment on the Upper East Side, worked as an stage actress earning my Equity card as well as eventually working at the MoMA without a college education. Was I particularly lucky? I would actually say yes, I was incredibly lucky as well as brave and hopeful. I had dreams and ambitions that did not align with marriage or having kids. I was self-aware enough to appreciate and understand where I was in my journey. I thought I had time. Time to live, grow and become more of myself as a person, an artist and a woman with experience.
I know your territory very well, too as I know Noquay 8767 s. I 8767 m in NJ, but I 8767 ve been all over the US. You 8767 re in Republican country. And, then you 8767 re artsy and a vegan? They probably look at you as a Martian, as traditional as they are down there. Hahaha! Good luck, Sweetheart. I hope for your sake your possibilities are far better than mine, 8767 cause mine ain 8767 t too good.
6. I suspected very early on he had a drink problem I would go to his and see many many cans on his 8775 recycling windowsill 8776 from the previous evening and I voiced this to friends. I ignored it, put it down to I don 8767 t know what but I ignored it. But his conversations were littered with references to his excessive drinking, all relayed with pride at his own laddishness. He drank around the boys, and we never met without drink being involved.
I have to agree with recently had a date with guy, who currently divorcing his wife he told me on the first and only date, that his wife decided to divorce him after being with him for 75 years and 9 kids together, the yongest one only 9 years old! Strange really, his wife is not
scared to be alone with FOUR CHILDREN, amazing!!!! Do I want this man, of course NOT, he definitely not ready to meet anyone, 5 months of separation is not enough! Anyway it is very heavy 8775 baggage 8776 for me as I do not have kids and somehow I think he is too weak for me and he is not that appealing with all his life experiences
Actually I agree with MR. That isn 8767 t a case of attracting a particular type of men it is a case of men who have no manners and use all sorts of bullshit excuses for shady behaviour. Sure we have all been hurt but we deal with it, move on and change behaviour that may have put us in that situation. Too many men don 8767 t and they also lie deliberately or by have a friend who thinks that the men I meet are desperate and extols the virtues of online dating. Yet many of the those same men have or are online dating. Go figure.
Question from Leigh: I have a problem with a guy who says he loves me and wants to be serious. He is suffocating me and I don't feel the same way about him. How do I get him to back off? I just want to be friends, but he is making that impossible by wanting to hug and kiss. He has been a widow since last year. He was engaged to another woman in February of this year. Something just is not right.
I now function with cognitive dissonance because I cannot wrap my brain around this prevailing attitude. There have always been jerks and the women who love them. Sure. But I think a lot of otherwise 8775 normal 8776 women are becoming EUM by virtue of their experience. The numbers are growing. I checked Natalie 8767 s site and The Path Forward on a year ago and recently. The numbers of women finding these sites are growing by a large margin.
He left her with a 65 month year old child (validated in obsequious ways) to seek out his narcissistic supply on his website. Crazy? No, his ex-wife I can only imagine is a co-dependent. I am sad for his son raised by the polarities of these two parents but once I couldn 8767 t deny his actions and excuses anymore, I got out. It still steams me he cannot accept, own, apologize or make amends to me (or anyone else for that matter). There 8767 s a cruel cut when I was ego-stroking, listening to him and only him without his having any curiosity about me, sex and more with not so much as a proper date in return. But of course, I 8767 m the demanding bitch. I 8767 m supposed to lead a 97-year-old man (twerp) by the nose. It 8767 s my fault. I know better and I know what any woman who snags into him will get. Hope they enjoy the one-sided narcissistic relationshit he can provide and nothing more.
Whenever you meet a Chinese girl in person or on an online dating site, be real, be yourself. People have a tendency of yearning to impress a woman at first sight. This is not recommended instead be yourself. Remember honesty is paramount in the Chinese dating culture. Pretense puts Chinese girls off fast. If you want a Chinese girl, be honest from the first day you meet her or interact with her.
Now I 8767 m dating a guy who is two years separated and who I am not that attracted to. He 8767 s a nice guy and I am learning to have really strong boundaries about him still being married. I don 8767 t say anything, I just won 8767 t get physically close to him. After this article, I am just wondering if I have picked another unavilable male because I am still so unavailable. We have to remember it 8767 s us that is unavailable that makes us pick these guys. Anyway, I 8767 m working through it. I 8767 m a widow and I waited four years after my husband 8767 s death to date but then started picked EU 8767 s even though I didn 8767 t realise it at the time.
5. If you 8767 ve already determined your boundary on this issue, don 8767 t bust it, live it. I know of quite a few people who were told to wait and come back when they 8767 d had some more time/got divorced. Now of course, a person who is avoiding their feelings will just find someone else to avoid them with but somebody who is genuinely interested in you and wants to start off on a good footing won 8767 t mind respecting your wishes at least they 8767 ll know that they 8767 re pursuing something with you because it 8767 s you they want to be with as opposed to seeking a distraction that 8767 s going to backfire when they realise that they 8767 re unavailable.
Keep forgetting that in digi land one is better off being as clear as possible it 8767 s rather easy not to bother as digital communications are labour intensive enough as it is. Blah, blah so anyway to all reading and following this thread let it be known that my reactions to Mr Writer stem only from the long post on this second page of comments. I noticed some el massivo contributions from her on page 6 but haven 8767 t read those.
I keep harping on the significant change I saw, experienced and heard about from my other girlfriends and guy friends around 7556 when men no longer dated women as they did in the past: . call ahead, make a date, pick her up, take her out, if date was successful, rinse and repeat with phone calls in between. I do not have amnesia. I recall those days in NYC in my 75s when I was struggling to get by and somehow managed to date men who at least did the bare minimum above. Was I really all that wise for my age? Nope. My boundaries would 8767 ve been busted all over the place if the men had the proclivity to do so in the first place (some did but they were the exception to the rule not the rule itself which aided in my seeing them for what they were, players as they were called back then). The men by and large did not go out of their way to behave as assclowns. They may have had commitment issues or other undesirable problems but they weren 8767 t the jerks we are running into en masse today.
Um? What happened to men knowing you don 8767 t sit down in a restaurant while wearing a baseball cap? You don 8767 t. You don 8767 t go to the opera in jeans with your woman dressed in couture and heels. You don 8767 t do it and yet, women are 8775 picking their battles 8776 and frankly, so long as men are being permitted to dress down, behave down and treat us in a inconsiderate way (dress, actions, manners reflect this as well as what goes on behind closed doors) we are going to be victims of this dress down, casual attitude.
Awesome. Thumbs up. As I don 8767 t date for months on end. AC chuck, EUM chuck, AC/EUM/Narc chuck. Years truck by of this and whenever I finally relax my boundaries, my standards by virtue of doing the same cycle over and over again, then I get told, 8775 Well, you should 8767 n 8767 t have ignored those red flags. You should 8767 ve maintained your boundaries. You should this and you should that 8776 You don 8767 t think that isn 8767 t going to have a splintering effect over time?