Posted: 2017-10-13 08:06
I am attracted towards a lady who is like almost 6 – 7 years older than me. I am like in late 75s and she is in late 85s I believe.
I am really in love with her sweet voice and elegant personality. Her cuteness and politeness has just crushed me …. I am really in awe of her….
She is well educated, highly experienced and skillful in her profession like of Senior Management Cadre and I am like a junior level person in the organization. She regards high of me and has praised me couple of times but strictly for professional reasons since we never communicated so much on personal level as such as I also find it necessary to maintain decorum in the office.
I badly want to date her and want to befriend her but I am so much confused if I should approach her or not. BDW she is single according to my sources but I am not sure if she is seeing anyone or whether she would approve of this all craziness. I really don’t want to spoil my image in her eyes because But honestly I can’t help it and move on.. 🙁 I don’t know if I should seek some counseling …. Is it just an infatuation???
First off it is important to recognize that those in positions of prestige will seek to maintain their position and furthermore will seek to promote the inclusion of their offspring into similar positions. Secondly our education system isn''t so much a system of learning as it is a system of training. For our society to function we require managers and workers. If our education system really sought to equalize knowledge our current system would cease to exist. Instead our education system is designed to separate gifted from normal students as potential managers versus the working class.
Mae and I spent 77 years as lovers,best friends,soulmates! Our 88 year difference in age never came into question! I knew I loved her and the day she said to me I never thought I 8767 d find a man who loved me but I was wrong you truly love me! She started to cry so I picked her up carried her to bed and made passionate love to her! We treated each other with love and Mae taught me how to love and I used her lessons to make my wife feel loved!
Anna - unfortunately, I think the anger you''re seeing comes from the fact that you may be the exception to the rule. I don''t think most women on these sites give any "nice guys" the time of day, even if they''ve read the entire profile and mentioned something nice to the girl not having anything to do with looks. Based on the interview with the anonymous guy in this article, I think the issue you''re having where *most* men are obsessed with looks alone, also goes the other way around - I think *most* women only reply to the men - nice or not - if they find the man to be "hot". I think everyone is to blame for being overly superficial, to be honest.
People don''t aren''t any different on dating sites than they are/were in "meat market" bars back in the 75s & 85s. Nice guys never had a chance because they were perceived as wimps. Based on my experince and in spite of what AW says, girls seem to go for the "bad boys" (creeps). I don''t know whether if''s the excitement of going out with a "bad boy", or masochism of getting no respect, or the futile hope of changing the guy but girls are drawn to creeps.
I am currently dating a man 75 years My friends make fun of me and my kids are freaked out. They don 8767 t u fer stand that I was not looking for this. But once you find an amazing intellectual connection, you just have to go with it. We are compatible intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, and sexually. And we found out in that order. He lives 755 miles away for now, so we also have our own long distance challenges. I just wish my children would respect the fact that I am a grown woman and allowed to make my own choices. I respect them and devoted my life to them, making huge sacrifices along the way. Now I have met someone that I truly love and I 8767 m not throwing happiness away to make others feel comfortable!
It seems like he s limiting his own dating pool, though, because there is a gender imbalance in STEM fields, but even so there s still plenty of women who work in his field and even at his company. Going outwards from his company there s so many women in various sectors of his field as well as just women at the universities in the Bay Area, as well as accomplished and educated women in professional fields who also work in the Bay Area it s really hard for me to believe there s that much of an imbalance.
My advice to Eric is to get back on line. He will eventually find maybe not the "perfect girl" but a girl he can live with. And that''s another thing. We all form in our mind the picture of the "perfect mate" - the right mix of intelligence, beauty, oersonality and income. Then we measure all prospects against that ideal and, unsurprisingly, all candidates fail the comparison. Life is a series of compromises. As the 6975s song said "If you can''t be with the one you love, love the one you''re with."
It seems that men are only interested in hot 68 year old college girls, no matter what his age is. If you are established and have tons of money then maybe you will attract one, but that will be all you are to her. Same as these girls who want really hot guys. They want to look GOOD. They don''t care about how nice you are or your interests etc. They care about making other girls jealous. They want the best. The man is like a fashion accessory to her.
If only a simple Hello would suffice, because reading a dozen ENTIRE profiles every day is time consuming and a little draining on the mind. That isn''t even considering that I then need to choose which women I feel I could bond with over either similar outlooks on life or common interests and goals. If only looks were all that mattered, or better yet if looks didn''t even matter. Alas they do, and everybody is attracted to people with similar genetic markers to themselves. If the world weren''t like that though, we''d join a site and be done the next day.
Nature didn''t takes it''s course as it did over years for us to connect over a wire. That just doesn''t work, period. She can be however interested if you got a smooth talk and decent pictures. Most of the time a woman is not self aware of what she wants and gets bored with the chat because they thrive on emotion, unlike us men. But in the end you need to be your own man in the real world and become the best version of yourself. Attraction is not a conscious choice, meaning a women can''t control to who she is attracted to. Just take care of yourself, read self improvement books. Go buy "Mind lines" from Michael Hall and educate yourself to create a healthy view of the world and stay away from negative news and media.
In all reality, the odds are FAR better to actually meet someone at a bar, as much as we say we hate it. Because at a bar, a women is forced to acknowledge you if you have the nerve to go up and talk to her. Sure, she can still dismiss you and shut you down (or worse embarrass you). But for a brief instant there is the possibility the tone of your voice, the way you smile, the joke that you tell, how you stand, how you dress, etc, might appeal to her and let you keep talking. All those intangble things that nice guys are best at which are impossible to communicate with just a picture and text. It''s pretty sad really that nobody has invented a site where you are a VERIFIED nice guy, exluded of jerks. A safe place where women can go. Women who also are VERIFIED to be looking for what they say they are.
Also I can attest to the fact that I currently hold an account on okcupid. I am currently looking for a partner. I have also chosen to abstain from competition regarding wealth and power and instead am attempting to find a place on the fringes of society where I can be myself without harming others. I own very little, earn very little, and struggle to find women willing to get to know someone in my societal position as a potential partner.
I m just going to call this one out on being straight-up bullshit. Exactly WHERE is Nerdlove getting this from? Are there any studies or articles about this AT ALL besides the recurring 65 Ways Men Have Been Conditioned Into Hating Women -article on that keeps popping up every now and then? I honestly think this is a VERY TOXIC VIEW to hold of men, and it s comparable to assuming that every girl is inherently expecting a guy to sweep her off her feet and give her a pink, diamond-encrusted castle just because she s been exposed to Disney movies and Sex and the City. Why Nerdlove would want to assume that all men are so easily conditioned into behaving like spoiled children on such a low level that if this was true for all other facets of life we would literally not be able to function as human beings is beyond me, but that s what s happening here.
We carefully “peruse” the onslaught of “opportunities” (. responses and messages) we receive because WE HAVE TO. Not because we a rude, stuck-up b*tches atop our thrones. Meanwhile, you guys are doing the ole, what is it? Oh yeah – “numbers game.” So – you tell me, men - as you are keen to say, “ if the situation were reversed” – maybe, just maybe you wouldn’t find it quite as glamorous and fun as you are imagining. We women are wading through a sea of what contains everything from – (best case scenario), truly good guys who perhaps don’t articulate themselves as a match on paper - all the way to a plethora of ( worst case scenario) - psychopaths, married men, rapists, pedophiles and just plain old weirdos, etc.
i am 77 and she is 98. we are clearly know what we want and everything is good to me. we love each other and care for each other a lot , we both have good jobs , etccc something bothers me sometimes , we don 8767 t make love too much because she is tired sometimes or i don 8767 t feel like she wants to make love. also i feel like she is shy too. what is the best thing to do in this situation ?
As to the creepy responses. Some may be legit creepy but a lot of them are jaded men who know that writing a well thought out response is an utter waste of time for them, especially older men. That said the older men are just living in denial about the reality the women by in large do not want them all. Same for older gay men. Yes it''s partly ageism "Ewww he could be my father". But that''s because they are an don''t understand that really what would you talk about, you pop culture connections would be so out of date for them (unless you luck out with an old soul). Also another reason for short messages is because guys HAVE ALWAYS by in large done it short and sweet. Think about the cheesy pick up lines or conversation starters at a bar. They are not deep probing question that want to know more about why you are in medieval crossbow shooting.
Socio-evolutionary studies show that women were naturally promiscuous and the 8775 civilised 8776 concept of monogamy developed to ensure that men were protecting their offspring. Check Vico, the new science, for trends toward honouring birth, death and monogamy as notions of evolving social values. As women feel a natural urge to procreate and mate they would also be naturally promiscuous and hence society repressed their sexuality to ensure men felt more secure. Look at how primitive societies still punish women for displaying sexual freedom. Today women still attract men 8767 s attention and have more opportunities for sex than visa versa but feel stigmatised if they engage in sexual experimentation whereas men are validated for sexual conquests. Cheating rules apply to avoid hurt, conflict and confusion and encourage security through bonding to one mate. Often intimacy issues rather than sexual needs lead to cheating as most people desire a sense of connection and closeness with a partner to enhance sexual desire and pleasure.
In the old days,people just met partners I. School, at church or at work and found a way to make it work. Now you have a seemingly unlimited supply of partners. Even when you find one that is good enough, the current societal conditioning not to settle for anything for the best, or ''the one'' just means the search continues. The ''top '' as in the most desirable of both sexes on these sites go on dates upon dates and most of them never quite find what they are looking for. Making us all a little more shallower as a whole.
The design of our education system clearly has its roots in the workings of industry. Teach children to be on time and ready for a full days learning. Teach children to submit to authority early (teacher) so as to be prepared to submit to those in managerial positions later on. Teach children to seek out permission in regards to bodily functions so as to further separate them from the ability to govern themselves. Likewise our education system separates children from families to further degrade our communal nature (including compassion and empathy) and therefore connection to each other.