Posted: 2017-11-14 15:37
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Along the same lines, most women may not be into short guys because it makes them feel big and heavy. There 8767 s such a strong emphasis on women being small mostly thin, but also petite so maybe if it was okay for women to be any other size it would be okay for men too. If a guy is going to outweigh me (I 8767 m 5 foot 6, mid 695s) yet not be fat, he 8767 s probably going to be a few inches taller than I am.
I have attended CoSA meetings in the past and just couldn 8767 t get comfortable with them. I believe that words have power and to affirm on an at least weekly basis that I am a codependent of a sex addict for me seemed to counter-intuitive. Like reinforcing the negative, thereby making it so. Additionally, the majority of the women who led the meetings that I went to were very bitter and angry. I 8767 m not trying to heal myself by becoming a man-hater. In fact the thing I am most angry about it that my trust has been so completely decimated, and how difficult it will be, should I end my marriage, to trust a man again. Certainly I don 8767 t need to add fuel to that fire!
Wow. So long as the guy is a gem I don 8767 t care overmuch about height. I always thought other issues like compatibility are more important.
That could also be due to my job. As a midget female in the military bigger guys always want to push you around or challenge you. (Officer. Nuff said.) Not all mind you but dealing with the alpha male nonsense can be fun. (Big jerks make big targets in deployed conditions Being short has bonuses.)
Having dated tall or short and divorced from a short I still know one thing. If someone can 8767 t get past something I can 8767 t help I 8767 m grateful. (Shallow? Can 8767 t date a military/alien/short/non-blonde?) Lucky escape for me! Sorry this doesn 8767 t help you though.
Ellie it was like reading my life when I read your words. 96 years for me first I went through his Alcolholism then sex addiction. 8 grown children 5 grandchildren. Lies lies and more lies. It 8767 s like he lives many different lives. I am deeply hurt and don 8767 t think he is capable of permanent change. He says it 8767 s different now he wants to change. I don 8767 t believe any of it. Hurt, pain, demoralized I feel like why did I stay I could have had a different life mow I am 65 where do I go from here?
It 8767 s a real shame that I 8767 ve heard addicts, and my addict has done this to me, use program tools and slogans to scapegoat me with their responsibilities LIKE having compassion on someone they have deeply lied to and hurt. But it doesn 8767 t help that we listen to a SICK person for what our reality is, and I won 8767 t allow won 8767 t let others do that for me either! So I take what I like and leave the rest. I don 8767 t have to take on a label if I don 8767 t find it helpful. Don 8767 t matter on whose Authority it may be. Thanks for your posts. Really appreciating this website!
Samantha, I 8767 m so sorry this has happened to you. I see that no one has answered your question about whether 8775 we don 8767 t have a healthy sex life 8776 is just an excuse. As your intuition (or the Holy Spirit if you 8767 re a Christian) is telling you: yes, it is a rather lame attempt to shift the blame on you. Your husband doesn 8767 t need sex, he needs intimacy to heal. There is no intimacy (and can never be any) where there are lies and deception. Period.
I 8767 m conducting a world wide survey shortly which will gather info on boundaries set by wives of addicts including boundaries around sex. Myself and other researchers in the field will be using the data in upcoming books.
God lift you up and show you how special and loved you are.
I will say, however, that even if you move to the divorce route, I recommend you do so only under the guidance of your pastor and other church leaders, and even then to prayerfully consider remaining single for a season. For one, you need time to allow the wounds he has inflicted on your family to heal. Second, the reality of the divorce may sink in for him when he realized the family he has lost, which for some men is the catalyst they need to start making a change. I know couples who have gone through a divorce, and after a lot of work, prayer, and rebuilding, remarry years later.
Okay, we can all want what we want. But it is typically women who consider that they often settle for a 8775 lesser men 8776 . Men don 8767 t settle, they don 8767 t think that way. You women are degrading in many ways. Men when they decide on a women, don 8767 t typically think they could have gotten someone higher on their list. After all that a man can do for a women, to have her consider him a lesser man do to height is very insulting.
Samatha, I totally understand how you want to believe your husband however, Maya Angelo said, 8775 believe someone the FIRST time they show you who they are. 8776 My sex addicted husband went on to molest our child. Seriously, it is not just pain you may feel if/when he acts out again he may damage your children in the process. My child is having severe social issues now, and I am a solo mom to our three children and it is heartbreaking and makes me angry to see what his selfishness has caused. Ultimately, it is your choice and it is between you and God Almighty. If someone truly loved you, they would never have lied to you like that in the first place. Best wishes to you!
There has been one perfect man and that was Jesus. Still, had us Type A women known Jesus we would most likely have looked for faults. It’s a struggle of our nature. Not that our way is to spitefully criticize, but it’s to evaluate situations looking for problems and quickly throw out solutions. Husbands are to be leaders in the household, but that doesn’t mean they have to be strong in every single thing.
8. Check out the website . This is the website for the fairly new organization, the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS), of which I am a board member. At this time there are only a small number of counselors listed here. However, we have our first training coming up in June 7568, which will provide in depth training to therapists and coaches on treating partners from the sex addiction-induced trauma model. Trainings will be offered all over the country at least twice a year. As counselors complete the training and the required supervision hours to become certified in treating partners, their names will be added to the website.
I believe these prayer points are coming my way just on time now that my deasire is to get married end of this year. I am a 76 years old born again lady. Plz pray with me that God may reveal my spouse to me by April this year as prophesied by a prophet of God during a prayer session thanks for those prayer points, they are truly powerful and i will definitely make good use of them. God bless you.
Again, NO! There is nothing like a spirit child. Apart from the fact that spirits don’t indulge in sex, they don’t have wombs and can NEVER be pregnant. They don’t give birth to other spirits. Spirits don’t die (Luke 75:86) and they don’t procreate. It is absurd for anyone to believe that there is anything like spirit children. They don’t exist. If there are spirit children, does it mean there are spirit boys and girls who grow up to become spirit men and women? That is utter rubbish! There is absolutely NOTHING like a spirit child, husband or wife.
Okay but when you lie about your height you waste everyone 8767 s time! If I am a woman that cares about your height I 8767 m either going to leave or feign sick as soon as I see you and realize you have lied or I am certainly going to not give you a second dare. Or if I don 8767 t care about height I 8767 m going to be pissed that you are a liar and turned off by your lack of confidence and not give you a second date. So tell me how is this working out for you? You lie then get angry at the woman for not giving you a second date?
With some guidance from your therapist, you should be allowed to ask whatever questions you like during the disclosure. Important caveat: Your primary therapist does not have to be the one to do your disclosure. Many good sex addiction therapists don 8767 t have training in clinical disclosure (ask this), don 8767 t understand how to conduct a partner-friendly disclosure, or don 8767 t use polygraph. Read on to learn about other options for disclosure.
I give God all the glory and the prayer points for locating my Godly spouse appeared just as a big miracle came into my i meet Andrew in 6997 and we dated for a year and by then we we not born again,a week ago i happened to be sitting and had forgotten about Andrew some 69 years only to have him come to my mind and i managed to get his connection from just trust God that i will use the prayer points i got from you to try and address the issue of me getting back together with him knowing that my body is the temple of the holy ghost and i have been centified through the blood of treasure Andrew and i pray the my the will of God be done and as God pleases we be pronounced as husband and not by might nor by power but by the sprit says the lord of host
Thanks Elisha for feeding me spriritualy
Needed to read this today! I am type A to the max and my husband is, without a doubt, type B. You mentioning that it is a gift that they can play with the kids or relax without stressing that the house doesn 8767 t look perfect or about what you are making for dinner next Thursday is something that I have thought about a lot lately It is wildly comforting that someone else has gone through the exact same thing and found ways to verbalize things to focus on that may make life easier. Glad I found your blog!
In terms of how to spend your time and what to talk about, the main concerns should be to prepare for marriage, to avoid temptation and to keep in mind that you are not married yet. That simply means keeping basically the same constraints on the settings in which you spent time together before you were engaged. In other words, while you will spend more time together, it still should not be alone in one of your apartments. Refer to " Biblical Dating: Growing in Intimacy " for more details on this.
Unless you 8767 re dating a dwarf, you 8767 re not going to have to pick up your man to sit him at the table. But as you said, women like to feel dainty. I think that has to do with their self-esteem and self-image. I 8767 m not putting blame on them for having these sort of complexes because society bombards us with these 8775 norms 8776 but don 8767 t you think that constant rejection from women for being short would do damage to a short man? It 8767 s a two-way street. Women can 8767 t be shallow when they 8767 re just as insecure 8775 Beggars can 8767 t be choosers. 8776