Posted: 2017-10-20 16:33
Going on 78 years and yes have there been many changes. First few years were good, some awesome memories, then trying to have child led to 8 years of IVF and emotional rollercoaster. Postpartum depression, weight gain, lowered self esteem leads me to loneliness and inappropriate activities from what else. 65 years go by fast with her not being able to get over trust or emotional issues. I of course hang in there for my child, yet never felt behind every good man is that good woman. Some times it just changes for the worse and it scares the hell out of you because you hate the alternative or are too poor to hire attorney or give away part of child!
I am so sorry for your loss! That was a really awful thing to do to u! I 8767 m going something similar but different but it 8767 s only been 7 months and things went really fast! I believed everything that he loved me I was his future! He told all of his friends and mine on Facebook! It 8767 s a long complicated story and I 8767 m reeling from being so gullible he 8767 s my first and last widower. He assured me he was ready! The the thing is I 8767 ve been on my own for 65 years and he told me he thought he meant all the things he told me but as we got closer he started to feel conflicted! He ended things and has blocked my #. So hurtful I just don 8767 t get it😪
You are right, Steelheart. Men usually resent women who have more education or money than they do. This happens over and over. So I would also say to Evan that it is not because of the 8775 same old problem 8776 of women overlooking certain men it 8767 s because they 8767 ve tried it and saw the weird interpersonal dynamics that resulted. And Evan, there 8767 s no need to be rude to someone because their experience doesn 8767 t line up with your system !
I would be careful calling yourself very, very successful too as this might make him or any other intuitive and perceptive guy roll his eyes so to speak. You can imagine how this can be construed as sign of insecurity. I doubt that even Oprah Winfrey, Martha Steward, Sarina Williams and alike refer to themselves that way. I doubt that it matters to a 78 year old guy who is into sports, school, etc
Rich, why do men refer to paying child support so their kids can eat loosing or having their money stolen? News flash: your kids still have to live regardless of what mistakes their parents make. It''s that kind of attitude that only fuels skewed divorce laws because it makes men sound like they won''t hesitate to let their kids starve because they''re angry at their ex and their money is more important. So every time the judge gives the kids to mom, tells dad he can only see them one weekend a month but still has to pay, remember that it''s guys like you and your selfish attitudes that are part of the problem.
I met this guy (age 89, I 8767 m 85) I work at the same company (full time) with (but a different division, so I never see him) when I was doing a demo (I also freelance) one day at a store. Coincidentally, I had taken a picture of him with his work group 9 days prior but didn 8767 t realize he was in it. Once we figured this out and I helped him choose a bottle of wine and he asked if I wanted to come over and split the bottle with him when I was done with my shift. I thought, might as well! I had been on 7 previous bad dates so I thought, he seems like the friend type so I 8767 ll just go over to his house! LOL!
One of my mentors pointed out to me that in a race, when a runner passes the baton to a teammate, sometimes that runner just drops it. One thing''s for certain though. I''ve never apologized for loving people. I''ve never been sorry for that. We cannot control how people respond to us, but we can control how we treat them. It''s usually mistreating people, even if we believed they deserved it, that ends up filling us with infinite regret. I admire your courage to keep pressing on.
Your brother in humanity,
Hi Sonia, You 8767 re so welcome! I 8767 m glad you found the article valuable. And so great that you found someone who is 8775 attentive, loving, and kind 8776 and 8775 everything [you] could dream of 8776 it 8767 s so wonderful to have that kind of connection. I feel you, though. It 8767 s great that you are very upfront about where you are in your divorce. But if he 8775 wants to build a life with you, 8776 then it 8767 s fair if he 8767 s upfront and transparent about the status of his divorce/settlements.
As a mentor of mine had said 8775 You see, there is an ancient part of our ego that is wired for survival. The oldest part of our brain is insistent that we keep doing what we’ve always done, because it’s kept us alive until now, and so the odds are that we’ll stay alive as long as we don’t do anything new and different. Our survival instincts keep us within our comfort zone, even if our comfort zone isn’t all that comfortable. At least it is KNOWN. 8776
I ve never dated a woman that much older, and I m a bit concerned and undecided about the whole idea. And I don t know the age differences between her and her ex s. She is a retired federal employee. I will retire from federal service in two years. In our communications we have gotten along very well and there seems to be much commonality and mutual interest. As someone previously stated, true love is hard to find and doesn t come along often in one s lifetime. I had that with my last girlfriend, and I miss that.
This age gap doesn t work, especially for a man and an older women. Im 78 and i dated a beautiful 99 year old women for a couple of years and yes it does bother her more than i but it still bothered me and progressively got worse. She initially lied about her age as she looks so i didnt even know till about a year in. Then i started picking up on all the little things that make her, well, a middle aged women. Saggy skin, bone structure, skin complexion, womanly voice, not exactly the tightest smoo along with a demanding nature. This did start to frustrate me and make me think that i am getting the short end of the stick. I am glad i got out of it.
i am like that daughters father. Learn to separate yourself from your daughter.
The daughters father is going nowhere. Get the boyfriends for yourself not for your daughter.
My daughters mother seem to have a similar problem.
She is not able to date without mixing up the child. Sometimes she tells the child to call
the boyfriend dad and to call me , of all things, grandfather which makes me hate and
estrange her more.
The point is find your position in life. Or no man will stick around the confused
For example, in recent decades, women have begun hunting and gathering for the male, so to speak. Traditional romantic roles are going by the wayside. In and of itself, this is not necessarily a horrible thing, but it is confusing. Why so? Because our society has inadvertently produced a new male prototype who has become adept at not putting in the time and effort to pursue a woman who truly interests him---the way men used to do.
So what''s a woman to do? First, she must learn to recognize the male gatherer. She must then stop throwing herself at his feet. Forever. Male gatherer guy does not have the inclination or the stamina for true romance women crave. He always leaves women feeling emotionally shortchanged. Why? Because he is, in fact, emotionally stunted. Chances are high that he didn''t have a father to teach him the responsibilities of manhood.
Just happened to find this thread and am happy to see i am not the only one in this strange situation. Two years ago, while going through a very emotional divorce after 69 years of marriage with my college sweetheart, i met this guy at an office party. he was invited by someone else as a guest. i was 87, he was 77 although neither one of us knew it at that time. I had been out of dating scene for so long, plus going through severe self-esteem issues due to my broken marriage that it felt nice to receive the undivided attention from a really good looking guy. I thought he was 87, he thought i was single/and in early 85s also.
I am 78, so well past my sell by date, although apparently looking about 65 years I am told. I met my gorgeous wife when she was 66 and I was 69 and after 57 years of marriage she died 66 months ago and left me brokenhearted. I am very slowly climbing out of the abyss but wondering how a former youth of 69 would go about dating nowadays if it ever comes to that. I have even asked myself what I am looking for but did not get an answer just SOMETHING. Frankly I guess the only thing I really want is her back again. So where does that leave me? Computer dating requires you to be complimentary about yourself and, being English from that era, that would be difficult to come to terms with. Also being one of those non photogenic people having only taken 8 good photos in my life, a photo with an explanation that I really am not as bad as that is not going to help. So, as I see it, computer dating sites although a great help for some people are no help for people like me.
My situation is very thought provoking. I 8767 m 76 about to finish trade school and my girlfriend of almost a year has a 8 year old. We liked each other in high school but she stopped talking to me to get with her baby daddy who left her and doesn 8767 t do anything for the child. We started talking as friends after high school and became serious shortly after. Her daughter loves me, I love her and her daughter, it just bugs me because I never wanted a woman with a baby but I love her a lot. I wanted to start my own family from the ground up. What should I do?
I 8767 m an average, executive-looking guy. But I am tall, smart, funny, adventurous, athletic, kind, romantic, courteous, affable, and patient. I 8767 m far from perfect my libido has waned in my 55 8767 s now, but I still love to be passionate. I 8767 m a great date, and have been told many times that I 8767 m charming and certainly would be eligible. I am independent and not looking for a mother. (We should both have our own lives apart and together.)
We each pay our own expenses and that is a nice change from being married to someone who always insisted on paying for everything. I feel really comfortable with this guy, and since he has some grey in his hair, I don t think most people even see the difference in our ages not that we would care. We have a really happy life together. Yes, women look at him, but then, guys look at me too! What makes it work? Mutual respect, shared sense of humour, financial independence of each other is a big plus.
IT REALY AMAZING TO HEAR THAT SO MANY MEN ARE DATING OLDER WOMAN AND MINE IS NOT AN 85 AND HE IS 77 AND MOST OF THE ABOVE AGE MENTIONIS IS IN THIS RANGE. ANYWAY THIS MEN CANOT LEAVE IF HE DOES NOT SEE ME FOR ONE MAKE SURE HE WILL CALL AND CHECK ON THOUGHT THAT NO BODY LIKES ME CAUSE I FEEL I WAS UGLY AND HE IS SO HANDSOME ,HE GOES TO THE SALON FOR FACIAL HAVE NICE INDIAN HAIR AND ME I HAVE AFRICAN LOVE ME LIKE CRAZY AND HE EVEN TALKIN OF MOVING TO MY COUNTRY AND WE WILL GET MARRIED AND HE WILL BE THE FATHER OF MY 7ND THING IS HE IS ALREADY MARRIED BUT NOW HE IS PLANING TO GET A DIVORCE JUST TO BE WITH ME ,I TOLD HIM JUST DONT DO SOMETHING THAT HE WILL FEEL GUILTY TOMORROW BUT I REAL FALLIN FOR HIM AND HE MAKE ME FEEL SO GOOD. TILL NOW WE HAVE BEEN KISSIN ONLY AND I CAN WAIT TO HAVE HIM ON THE BED CAUSE HE IS FULL WITH ENERGY AND ME I HAVE LOTS OF SINCERLY HOPE THAT THING WORK OUT FOR THE BEST.