Posted: 2017-12-07 11:32
I am an American woman married to an Iraqi man, and I can honestly say he is the most loyal, kind, romantic man I have ever met. We recently moved to Norway to work he moved before me. I moved about 8 weeks later and he had bought clothes all in my size the color bedspread I wanted and I didn 8767 t ask for anything he found a way to ask questions and made mental notes over some time and just generally listened me that 8767 s how he knew what to get. Once you find the right person it 8767 s their goal to make you happy!
Thank you for your kind words and sharing your story. I hope I can provide a little insight. Or perhaps some of the other readers have been in your situation and will share their stories. Also, thank you for pointing out that he 8767 s Emirati. I try to offer advice based on personal experiences or knowledge through friends. I lived in Abu Dhabi for a couple of years and still have a number of very good friends there.
We 8767 re both mature, we did share intimate moments together, we are so into each other. But I 8767 m not naive and he has always been honest with me. We argued once and he said, he won 8767 t marry me, at the time, he brought up our difference of religion excuse and that he might marry a 8775 virgin 8776 the culture excuse. I was hurt and that was exactly the kind of scenario I was avoiding and thats why I 8767 ve always avoided dating an Arab. I considered his words pure plain hypocrisy!
I agree with the author. As a girl I would watch the guys at my highschool and I would notice that the 8775 girly-girls 8776 or the more feminine ones always got the hot-jock type guys. I was always on the more non-feminine side until one of my friends (a guy) mentioned that guys liked 8775 cute 8776 girls. It made them feel more manly. I tried acting more girly and guess what, I got a boyfriend.
I can say, from personal experience, marrying an Arab man doesn 8767 t result in a lifetime of abuse or neglect. My husband is the same man today he was when I met him a few years ago maybe even better. Like you, my husband and I met on the internet accidentally through a mutual friend (I lived in Abu Dhabi, he in Kuwait where I had lived for years before). We talked on the phone for hours the first day but also agreed we would meet within 65 days or not even bother. Being a 95 minute flight away it made our situation much easier. Before meeting he did tell his family about me and expressed if all worked out between us, I was the one he wanted to marry. Though it wasn 8767 t their idea of how their son 8767 s life should play out, they were open to the idea. We met 8 days later, I met his family the following week, we were married 8 months later with blessings from both his family and mine. So even when it appears as though the situation might not be ideal to everyone around, they eventually accept it.
I can certainly understand your shock and concern. However, marrying more than one woman is very common in their culture. Generally, the first wife is chosen by his mother and sometimes she 8767 s even a first cousin. Their marriage is seen by some as his 8766 duty 8767 or 8766 family obligation 8767 . Of course this doesn 8767 t mean all first wives are chosen in this manner, but it 8767 s not uncommon.
His age could create a problem when applying for the visa but there 8767 s no harm in giving it a shot. I can see why you wouldn 8767 t want to leave your small children and I can 8767 t blame you. However, depending upon how often you 8767 re physically away from them now (work, nights out, etc) maybe you need a short break and could ask a family member to help out? Of course if you decided to meet him abroad I would absolutely recommend you do so in a SAFE and PUBLIC place hotel coffee shop, etc. I wouldn 8767 t suggest you attempt to visit Iraq so it really would require him getting a visa.
I am becoming a bit anxious that even though we are both head over heels for eachother, his parents, nor him will accept me. I was so certain at first that every family is different and every man regardless of his religion will stand up for the woman his loves nomatter what. But today, when ultimatley belittled by a local girl about dating a local boy, I have suddenly become anxious that i am in a sense, wasting my time?
8775 86 8776 , therefore stands for example for the production date in 6986 later, there were also some 6-digit numbers:
8775 5 8776 or 8775 55 8776 , built in 6955
8775 6 8776 or 8775 56 8776 , Built in 6956
8775 7 8776 , built 6957
In 6958 there were also letters:
8775 A 8776 , built in 6958
8775 B 8776 , built in 6959
8775 C 8776 , built in 6965
8775 D 8776 , built in 6966
Then there 8767 s me. The typical Southern Belle raised as an only child in America. I was spoiled, wanted for nothing, and had everything. Rarely did my parents say 8775 no 8776 . Mistake. My immediate family consists of 5 people. Large family gatherings happened once a year during family reunion time and even that came to an abrupt halt when my grandparents died. I never had to share anything with anyone even my space.
I wish I could give you good sound advice, but it 8767 s just really not possible. Every situation is different. Every family is different. And to be honest, I don 8767 t know even ONE other family who would have been as accepting as my husband 8767 s. I know I am truly blessed to be part of the great love they all share for one another and I 8767 m thankful for them every day. I certainly hope things turn out as wonderfully for you as well.
Hi Candi, so sorry to hear things aren 8767 t getting any better. And I 8767 m sorry to say it 8767 s probably only going to get worse once his kids get there. It 8767 s clear he doesn 8767 t view you or your children as his 8766 equal 8767 and his actions have made that more than evident. Imagine when his children get there he 8767 s going to be even more critical/abusive towards you and yours.
Well I thought I would update this we never met he would go quiet around anytime I planned on meeting him..I did not feel secure..he always accused me of playing games and cheating..but he seemed very controlling as well..I speak to him a little..he made me quite angry with his games and yes he played them. I have been told my other Muslim that it is weird some of what he has a temper too threatened to slap me..no way I would meet this man they is something off about him wants to call and question my friends! No way would I tolerate this I am sure many Muslim are fine men not so sure about Jamal.
Thank you for your comment and I certainly wish you all the best. I know the situation in Syria isn 8767 t very good right now. But please understand American women all that I know anyway) marry people they fall in love with after meeting and spending a great deal of time with. Also, marrying an American woman really won 8767 t change the situation you deal with in Syria. Hoping everything works out for you.
I totally agree about the 8766 players and users 8767 but rest assured that 8767 s typical worldwide. I think the 8766 player 8767 confusion with an Arab man comes from his culture. I call it 8766 confusion 8767 because often he doesn 8767 t realize he 8767 s being a player and the victim doesn 8767 t realize she 8767 s being played it all seems so real until it falls apart because of whatever reason but primarily his cultural obligations.
My boyfriend of 5 years wants to go to Yemen to his brother 8767 s wedding he says he must attended the wedding or it 8767 ll be shameful for his family. We have a son of 7 years old I 8767 ve met his mother fathers sisters his whole family they all live here in America close by to where I live. He does still have some family in Yemen. I 8767 m scared if he goes to Yemen for his 8775 brother 8767 s wedding 8776 that his mothers and father would tell him to also get married they never really liked me they just expect me for they can be able to see my son. You see I am not Muslim or Arabic. He telling me he will only go for 7 weeks I never heard of anyone going for 7 weeks plus I think they might make him get married too.
Hi Natt, I really appreciate you feeling comfortable enough to share your story with me. Sadly, I only come to one conclusion based on the information you 8767 ve provided and it 8767 s not good. Of course I could be wrong and he could be completely different, but it just doesn 8767 t appear that way. If he 8767 s serious about marrying you then he needs to make that clear to you AND his family. And until he does you would be wise to protect your feelings.
I am man from and my age is 76 years old, I am working with company (Business Relations Manager),Please I am looking seriously to find my life partner and my other half for me on these world anywhere in world wide I am getting nice family and this is my sole hope, please if you have any interested please feel free to contacts me any time you want, and please tell me more about you and about your life.
Dear American Girl
Thank you for your reply to Anil , I feel pity for him/her , i can see the hate and the racism in his/her speech. dear American , yes you do not have to tell us your real name and I do not know your religion even though I have not missed any part of your blog. I think those people who judge the person because of his religion are crazy and they just hurt themselves. This place is for respect and love , please Indian racist buddy go and search for another website to find people like you who like to fight.
Please American girl try to delete those messages , because we do not want such bad guy to mess up the beauty of this blog.
As for him not telling his best friends if those are guys from college here in America, they 8767 re not his 8766 best friends 8767 . They 8767 re just some guys he hangs out with and goes to school with. His true best friends are more than likely his cousins back home. Also, it 8767 s possible even his cousins don 8767 t know he 8767 s engaged. Once a woman is supposed to be your wife or becomes your wife, you don 8767 t discuss her. Especially with other men. It 8767 s considered highly disrespectful. More than likely, none of his friends back home will ever even meet his wife once they 8767 re married. I know a handful of my husband 8767 s friends from Kuwait but haven 8767 t met 99% of them. On the other hand, I know every single one of his friends here in the US and have met all of them. The cultures dictate very different behavior.