Posted: 2017-10-13 07:37
There are some very interesting posts here. For the ladies I would say I'm sorry that you have to put up with so many rude, insulting, crass men and their messages. Very unfortunate, but most likely the culmination of a cultural whirlwind that has swept over the land the last 55 years or so.
I typically respond to messages from women that I have no interest in and do so in a polite manner, encouraging them to stick with it as it takes time to find the right person online.
However, I don't think the online dating model is productive, for all the reasons mentioned in the posts below. And to those that say that millions of people have met and married via online dating sites, I say prove it with hard data, not conclusory statements bereft of evidence.
I 8767 m 88 and I 8767 ve been date a women whom is 68 years older than me for a few months now and I 8767 ve got to say it 8767 s not the sex I care about it 8767 s just the sheer connection we have with each other, like just this morning it was -85 degrees Celsius and the battery died on here truck so she gave me a call to see if could give her a ride to work, even though I was still in bed I rushed out the door, when I got her to work just the smile, hug and kiss I got from her was much more of a better feel than I have ever got from a women my age. And I have also got to say I have had more fun with here in these few sort month than I have had with many other wemon around my age put together, like cooking her a nice supper and relax with a glass of wine and a movie was way more fun that going to any resturant or club.
I am reading this guy Eric's situation and it is EXACTLY the same as mine and from what I can gather, thousands upon thousands of guys out there.
For sure a lot of the girls are "saying" they want the nice guy but end up looking for the guy they have spent an entire paragraph saying they do NOT want. Not all girls are this way though.
I truly believe that a MASSIVE amount of the blame can go to the guys who act like asses and the girls who let them get away with it. Clearly it works on some girls so these jerks continue to try until they find that girl.
Also a lot of girls need to lose the attitude, I mean seriously no matter how good looking you "think" you are, if your head is up your butt you are going to come out looking like poop.
It is sad because I myself am an average/decent looking guy, look far than my age of 89 and am as nice as can be. Yet I will get not one single response out of 85 messages.
I 8767 m just pondering a little bit whether I could ever do what Evan does.
On the one hand: enough Women perennially don 8767 t get it (about dating not being 8775 fair 8776 , for example) that there would never be a shortage of clients needing to be told what 8767 s really in their own best interest.
On the other hand: having to tell them and tell them, over and over again, might be more than I myself could handle.
It 8767 s a good thing we 8767 re all different, right (?) Evan can do what he does... and I 8767 ll do something else less crazy-making.
I am 99 and he is 79, we are deeply in love for 8+ years! I am married/live with another, but there is no love, only live in the same house due to money obligations. I spend most of my time with my boo. We vacation together, 8 yrs in a row. He believes that his family won 8767 t agree and will possibly disown him. So I am a secret. Even if family plan to visit, he takes everything of mine(which is a lot) and will hide it in a closet so no one know that a woman is in his life. I find it very difficult!
The point is this - they don't have to WORK to get attention. Attention comes to them, both good and bad. If they post a picture with them in a swimsuit, they are going to get some pretty bad attention. If they instead post of picture of them praying in a church, they are likely to get a different kind of attention. They do have some control, and some means of filtering and directing what attention they want, at least to some degree. Nice guys don't have that option. We have to put our best pictures out there. The most attractive. The most interesting. Our profiles must be perfect. Our messages must be interesting, eye catching. It's pretty unfair when you really think about it.
Agree totally. The way women present themselves provokes how men will react. When I see genuine and cute profile, I try to be as well mannered as possible, I don't want to loose this opportunity. But when I see a woman that I don't like and she's a bit off, like desperate or bitchy, then my first idea is to ask her if she agrees to have sex with me, nothing else. I don't do it because I'm fully aware that it doesn't work that way and I simply don't message her. But this illustrates the difference between my messages based on women's profiles.
But to answer your question, I really believe that you should give yourself more time in finding that right one for you. Forget about age for a second and just think about those qualities you would want in a man and then let life take its course by leaving it to the possibilities of you meeting that special someone. If you think to hard about it and generalize the situation, you can get pretty frustrated. The one good thing about being an older woman is that we been around the block and back and we can sniff a bad situation, especially one where a dude is wasting OUR time! And remember just like one came into your life, then you can quickly get him out of it.
Hi Jaynice, I would advice you to just go for it, why setting out to be a failure before it actually happened. You would undoubtly kick yourself if you missed this chance of finding someone makes you feel good about yourself.. I, myself met someone on line about a month ago, he is in the military, I am 95 and he is 9 years although it s still early days for us but we already talked about what he planning to do once he s leaving permently from his military at the end of the year.. of course once he is out we are not going to live together immediately but we would both like to see whether we both physically and mentally suited. and boy I really can t wait to be in his arms
its called a condom and birth control! she should of used it most people do! so later on we are not like you blaming it on the circumstances be a grown up and own up to your mistakes dont bring some bullshit saying that she loves her kids now thats besides the point we are not talking about her feeling towards her kids now that she has them we are talking about men and women who know its smart to use all three forms of contraceptives so then they can decide when they are ready to have kids so no it doesnt matter if she loves them now and she wouldnt have an abortion she already formed an emotional bond it could all been avoided some women and men are just baby makers and then complain why theres so many obstacles in their life now haha they asked for it
For someone to truly connect with another person and feel completely content with another they must first know and accept themselves. In my forty plus years in America I believe that to be a rarity. I have known people of all ages including countless couples who seem to have a better grasp on celebrities lives than they do on their own. I can count perhaps a handful of people I've met who have formed their own systems of belief. The vast majority have simply accepted whatever belief system they were fed without question.
Now, even women earning a Bachelor 8767 s degree in something like social worker should know before they go into it that it does not pay well. But this is for both men and women. Just the same as that Superintendent, if a woman will make the same, and yes, more and more women are moving into those roles. I met more than one woman who was the superintendent of a construction site. Often they have an advantage I think, because all of them were above average looking women well above average. My theory is that they became good at that job because the supers they worked for had them working in the office close to him. Hey, if you have a choice of the pretty girl or some grubby guy working beside you, you choose the pretty girl. But regardless of how they got the job, they were just as good as the men it seemed.
you are right and I am a woman including the prostution part the way I see it is why give it away for free if your going to get used for sex anyway get paid at least then you 8767 ve made a good business decisoion and sincerely if your not going to treat the guy like a King then you will be miserable so you might as well have just let him pay you and get what he wanted which after all is only sex he needs nothing more
Online dating really only works for exactly the sort of audience that already has plenty of other dating options. It's great if you're relatively and in a relatively urban area and if your socioeconomic status is broadly similar to other people nearby. I suspect that it's also a good option for people outside the age range most commonly acceptable to a site's users, though that's outside my experience.
Dating sites don't work!
One year on Okcupid and no messages or dates.
I am a retired 96 year old caucasian man. Being on a dating site for that long has made me feel very ugly and unwanted. I have read over five hundred profiles and I am very turned off by women now. I don't find women attractive anymore because of internet dating sites. I will more than likely be single the rest of my life now, Thank you internet dating. I give up!
I was doing a search and really trying to get some advice or better yet read about other older women dating men and found this site. There is a ton of information on here and makes me feel a little bit more confident that I am NOT crazy for being attracted to a man. My situation is still in its crush stage. I am an african amercian woman who has been stung by the love bug of an caucasian male who is in his mid twenties. It is at work and which makes this situation a bit difficult for me to even pursue. I like to do my 8 hours and get out of the workplace if you know what I mean. I think one time he caught me staring at him but I was so taken by his appearance. At times I feel silly, being 86 looking at this kid and wonder if he even knows how old I am. But truth be told, we don t even know each other and I am sure I am probably the last thing on his mind. But I do think that he notices me noticing him type deal. I have not told one soul that I like this gentleman because I m a bit shy. And I would be hurt if he said that he was not into black women.
I love my little girl more than anything or anyone else. I have never let her see the couple of women that I briefly dated. I hear people say those without children are selfish and don 8767 t understand. Guess what, your right. Our life style is not their problem. Even other single parents have a difficult time dating other single parents. Just life. I haven 8767 t dated in over 7 years. I get together with friends and other parents with children to keep everyone engaged and ensure my daughter has positive impressions at an early age.
Men are more okay being single because dating is a huge time investment. Aside from sex, what benefits do women these days give men that they couldn 8767 t get from their friends? None. Women used to treat even the most average man like a king. He would come home from a long day at work with dinner on the table, a clean house, and kids picked up from school. The wife was the ultimate support system while the husband slaved away paying the bills.
So here 8767 s the thing. I am done with American women, and I am helping many of my single friends to see the light. Most are now looking for wives in other countries. Some have already found wives. Almost all of them feel overwhelmed by the positive response they get from these women, and how kindly they treat us. Also, most of my friends are very happy that these women seem more youthful than their years suggest. They aren 8767 t fat, and enjoy doing active things.
Further, if you&rsquo re not a kid person or don&rsquo t want kids, you should not date a woman with kids to see if you&rsquo ll change your mind. This is not a video game that you can turn off when you decide you do not like how the game is playing out. That is a personal decision you should figure out long before you involve a woman and her child in your life. Save the games for the rest of the single people in the world who do not have the responsibility of looking out for the emotional well-being of themselves and their child.